In this book, anytime it's Jared talking, that's me.

Jared: IM STARTING EACH BOOK WITH THE AWESOME SHIPS OF THAT FANDOM!!!
Star+Mabel: YAY MATCHMAKING
Marco+Dipper: OH CRUD MATCHMAKING
Jared: SO IM GETTING MY SHIPS TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!

*commercial break*

Star: So Marco
Marco: yes?
Star: I was thinking of putting a giant hamster cage in my room, but I'm not sure where.
Jared: *hanging from ceiling* I CAN HELP
Star: AAAAAAH ULTIMATE SPARKLY WOMBAT BLAST!!!!!
Jared: *dodges* It's just me.
Star: oh, sorry
Jared: no prob. I'll help you with the hamster thingy ON ONE CONDITION
Marco: what is it?
Jared: YOU TWO HAVE TO KISS
Star: I'll just do it myself
Jared: oh yeah I locked your room and fed the key to Gompers. And spell proofed the door. And karate proofed the door. So you can't get into your room until you kiss Marco. Oh yeah, and while I was talking I duct taped you two together and I won't undo it until you kiss.
Marco: *looks down* *is covered in duct tape*
Star: *is covered in duct tape and is duct taped to Marco*
Jared: *holding Star's wand* ^U^
Mabel+Dipper: kiss kiss fall in love!!!
Star: *kisses Marco* Blech. Can you untape us now?
Jared: nope *hops on Panda* ONWARD TO DIPCIFICA!!!!!!!!!

Continued in next chapter