well not really a teaser just a funny part i wrote a while back for an unpublished book

"THE LACHY DACHY HAS ARRIVED!" my best friend Preston shouted as I walked over to our normal lunch table. Before you ask, yes, he always does that. Every single frickin' day. Even when he's the late one and I get to the table before he does. He's annoyingly persistent like that.

One of my other best friends, Vik, aka Vikk (don't ask, we don't know why we started calling him Vikk with two Ks either), didn't say hi to me because he was busy narfing on his peanut butter and pickle sandwich. He's weird that way with his food.

I had three other friends sitting at this table, too. We weren't as close and didn't know each other that well, I was just wrapped into Preston's weird circle of friends because he has a tendency to do that. There was Mitch, star member of the basketball A-team, Jerome, the one guy who will eat anything off the floor for a quarter, and Rob, a quiet kid that really likes flowers for some reason.

Preston has a lot of weird friends like these guys. Not that I'm not weird as well, but you get my point.

I pulled out my lunchbox and looked inside. I saw a piece of leftover pepperoni pizza, a bag full of grapes, a Martin the Minecart juice box (I'm not three years old, Mom), and a brownie. Mmm, delicious. Except for the grapes. Those I just ignored.

I chucked the juice box at this one kid with glasses and a weird gray hoodie with ears whose name is my middle name. I think he's a furry. The kid (Ross) was beaned in the head, but he caught it afterwards when it bounced off his skull. He shot me a dirty look and ran off to sit next to the rest of his friends, hurling the juice box into the trash can.

It was just a prank, man. No need to disrespect the juice.

Mitch started up some sort of banter with Jerome over pasta or something. They're best friends. The rest of us have started betting over when the two of them would start dating. It could be a thing. Really, it could. Vikk joined in, arguing that pastrami is disgusting. Okay, they were arguing about sandwiches? Preston also butted into the banter, claiming Maseratis were weird and he preferred Priuses.

Okay, what the heck are they even talking about? Even Rob's chatting up a storm about some kind of flower. Seriously, pick a subject and stick to it. Not all of us are city kids by heart able to keep up a conversation with thirty-two different topics. I grew up in the middle of the woods, for Notch's sake.

i wrote this on a google doc