Random ° Possible trigger warning

pessimistic

/ˌpɛsɪˈmɪstɪk/

tending to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen.

-«»-

"Oh, I suggest you visit the doctor soon about your irregular sleep problems" with a tuck of his glasses, the man kept scribbling away on the paper.

I huffed quietly, "Okay" was all i responded with and the room fell silent.

Clearing his throat the counselor looked at me in the eyes, "How have your other problems been?"

"Alright, I still don't fe-. . Actually quiet fine. Just stress from ordinary life but I haven't had any thoughts recently"

"Good good, well this concludes our session. In a few weeks I'll check up on you but any other problems before then come discuss them with me, Okay?"

"Mmhm, thank you and have a good day"

I rose from the leather chair and casually made my way outside where I neatly patted my rogue pieces of hair flat.

A blanket of relief fell upon me and I glances at my usual seating for the hour. With only 5 or so minutes left on the clock I decided to take a walk and explain later why I didn't appear this time.

With each stride my eyes fell upon and studied numerous individuals, I cringed at the kissing couples and wild youngsters. Not only did I not have substantial energy to even complete basic chores but I in no hells way have enough to run around with buddies.

It was a mixed feeling, I despised the young people and star struck lovers for their undeniable amounts of energy and beaming personality but I also had a warm feeling in my chest every time.

It wasn't a warm feeling of love or any other silly emotion but almost like relief. Relief that these people haven't hit a dead end in their life and even if they have they still keep the will to smile and laugh.

Like geez half the time I don't like showing joy because I believe I don't deserve it, but there's always a friend that will lecture me saying obscured things such as;

"Dont be silly you absolutely deserve it"

Or even

"Dont talk nonsense, its always a joy of a time when your here so if I smile you have full right to"

Letting out a obvious scoff I passed another group who clearly shown confusion but anger at me.

I hummed lightly and relived some of my most of so fond memories.

-«»-

"Goddam my backs killing me" I chucked and leaned against a thin piece of beam, glancing at my companion.

His eyes met with me and he frowned while I shown a small smile.

"Suck it up" he hissed.

His voice was voided of any warmth and replaced with a bitter, harsh tone while he glared at the Apple within his grasp.

I opened my mouth to try and resort but the cat got my tongue and I looked at my hands grasped within my lap.

Over reacting or not I felt the urge to cry, or even flee from the scene.

I was visually upset but inside it was almost a like a wounded rage.

'oh so what if I've been sucking it up all this time'

' Gosh I've been sucking it up the past years and look where it got me a doctor visit and many counselor stops'

-«»-

My thoughts were going to wander again until a loud piercing bell was heard and flocks of people hurried to their destination.

Quickly remembering I caught onto where I'm next so thus started walking to it.

Thanks for reading ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ