(Warning: don't read if you are sensitive about religion)

Person: oh my god! Why would that author kill them! They were so strong and brave and they were in love with that other person! Why would they do that!? *crying*

Meanwhile in hell:

Me: satan will you pass the sugar?

Satan: here you go. How have you two been?

Rory: just lovely. We've been writing more stories.

Satan: great. Did you make the mortals cry from them

Me: why of course. We got the readers attached to a character, then we killed them.

Satan: ooo, attack on Titan strategy, I love it.

Rory: my dear satan what is in this tea, it's awfully salty.

Satan: the tea is made of homophobe tears.

Me: that explains the bitter taste.

Rory: yup.
(Looks at watch)
Oh no were already going to be home late. We better go, same time next week right satan?

Satan: no I can't I'm going shopping with Ben the homo angel next Thursday.

Me: alright are you free on Friday?

Satan: I think so. I'll see you boys then.

Me and Rory: bye satan.

(Ya)