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Update 2.0

Hey everyone, hope you all doing alright and i hope you all doing happier and greater than me. Why i said that? Its because i've been feeling lonely and pretty much i really need someone to talk to.

I really wish i live where you all at, so i could visit you all everyday and having fun playing games and watch funny videos of Markiplier and more. But, it was all a dream.

Getting to where you all live is pretty much impossible for me to do. Not that i dont have alot of money, but from my stupidity. I always act stupid, so much that i always dream wanna go somewhere, but not realize that the country was filled with smarts and geniuses. And i pretty much embarrassed.

I think i should wait until i get smart enough to go where you all live.

Update about myself:

Not going to good. Felt alone still and quite sad of not talking with you all.

Dead inside and i feel like my heart is always empty. Empty and pretty much like the void.

I've been having sad dreams about loosing my friends and one of them being Shota-Chan

It happened to HappyLife1961
once and it giving me a regret from seeing that vision in my dreams. And it was like a couple of months ago, and now seeing Shota(admin) died in front of my eyes, i feel so terrified that i will loose another person in my life that i care so much, died within a blink of an eye.

I loose them, because of my stupidity. Pretty much i was walking to their home in an apartment, when suddenly i was knocked out and then i woke up in a basement, and i saw them both, in front of me, tied as well.

I can slowly see a figure lurks in the shadow, and in just moments later. I got knocked out again and when i finally wake up, she was fell on the floor, with their lifeless eyes looking straight at me. I walked up to her and pretty much regretting myself, over and over for up to 2 full weeks by saying: "I'm worthless, useless, powerless and stupid. I wish that killer kill me instead of her." And i can see their tears in their eyes and pain they have felt, and i felt it too.

Because, i always feel that my life isn't expensive and its pretty much a waste.
I'd rather died in a fire than seeing anyone died in it
I'd rather be a meatshield than seeing myself using my friends corpse to be the shield
And, i'd rather seeing my friend live in a happy life, better than a foolish person, like me.

I'm lonely...

I'm nobody...

But i'll do my best to be your friends, forever. And if i loose you, i would loose a piece of my heart deep inside that i will regret, forever. Even if one day, if the world is gone, and we all live happily in the after life, well... I would not. I would not and be with an angel, i will be asking to God and i hope transfer me to hell. The deeper of pain and wounds, for eternity.

I hope we all doing well, better, healthy and happier than me. I will see you all soon. Have a great day, everyone. Or if you have a bad day today, i hope tomorrow will be happier and filled with smiles.

P.S:

Valentines Day is near people, i hope at Valentines Day you all will receive chocolate and rose and i hope that you couples that never experienced first kiss, i hope it will be a dream that will happen on Valentines Day :). For me, i just mainly saying happy things on Valentines Day. I don't date, because uglyness and such. So yah, have a good day everyone ^^

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