aHHH IM SORRY IM A MESS
IVE BEEN GONE SO LONG I MISS YALL I JUST AM SUPER BUSY BEING ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED

Okay so basically

I had a doctors appointment and I now not only have anxiety and low lying chronic depression, apparently I've dropped 20 pounds in the last six months and have the beginnings of anorexia so

Shit

But on a good note
I have a boyfriend now and he's coming over to my place Thursday to watch Batman and some marvel movies so that's pretty damn awesome. We're also gonna play board games and just be the huge nerds we are, while eating cookies and pizza so gotta love that.

In not so good news, the play is over and now I'm Exxtra depresso (TM)

And one of the kids in the cast told my whole grade that I made out with a tenth grader (who is now my boyfriend but I haven't made it with let alone kissed) backstage. Also I wanted to keep this kinda secret from my class because it's not something that normal, for an 8th grader to date a 10th grader. But I don't see why it shouldn't be, some adults have fucking forty year age gaps, we're a year apart and I don't see the issue. Plus this is my first relationship and I REALLY don't wanna fuck it up, and I'm already widely hated in my school for crying a lot and being "stuck up" which is really just my crippling anxiety, but now my entire school thinks I'm a slut.

So yeah

Life fucking sucks and I kinda wished I had jumped off that ledge.