So my friend got a boyfriend and I mean I don't care but

Okay
Fuck it

I care. She's replacing me. She's got a boyfriend. Popular friends. She literally said when one of her popular friends was gone "I miss XXXXX, she's a sass queen. SamXXX you need to work on your sass."
She wasn't trying to be mean but she fucking was.

I can't stand it. I'm not good enough anymore. I've known her since third grade and I'm being replaced because I'm too quiet. Too scared. This has happened four times in the last three months. Our table is three people now. I hardly talk and now there's this asshole who comes up to me and says "hi" to me over and over as if he's talking to a child or a puppy. I can't stand it. I want to die. I hate school. I have no friends. I'm not good enough for them.

I wish I were less anxious and more extroverted but I'm not. I can't talk. I literally freeze up. I forget how to form words, how to speak. I don't look up. I never raise my hand in class. I play songs in my head. Over and over just to keep myself sane. I focus on getting through five minutes. Then repeat. Never speak. Never give them anything to make fun of me for. Never interact. Never embarrass. Never do anything. Do the minimum. Only what's required. Because what's life worth anyway. We die and forget about these people. These "friends" that leave when a better opportunity arises.

Here's some chats between us.

My life will end, and people will forget me. They won't care or remember.

None of this matters. Why even socialise or make friends in school. They all leave eventually. Nothing in school other than learning is important or relevant. So Its time for me to stop trying.