So yeah. I'm back. Or well... I'm not really sure if I'll actually ever post this. But if I do... Yay I guess. And if I don't... Then you'll never know what I wrote here

I guess I should try to explain why I left in the first place. It's... It's a bit complicated and something that has happened over a long time

I... I have started to feel more and more alone... More than when I first came to wattpad. People has started to stop talking to me... And I guess I am also to blame for not talking to them. But... Sometimes when I did try. The other might have compleatly ignored me. And after a while of trying. I compleatly gave up. I'm not talking about only one or two people but many people. Sometimes the person might reply... But only for one or two replies... And...

It hurt...

Seeing the person rping and talking with others. I... Thoughts and questions started to come to my mind

'Did I do something that upset them?'

'Did they just not get my reply?'

'Do they hate me?'

At times I would start crying because of those thoughts and sometimes... I couldn't take it anymore and snapped...

Most of you propadly know that I cut. That's how I snap. I try to do something to distract myself from the thoughts but sometimes watching a video or drawing won't help so... I try to distract myself in a different way

I understand that people get busy and maybe just don't have enough time/energy/motivation to reply to everyone

But... I don't want to leave wattpad. I have met many people here but... I'm not sure if I can take it... If I can take the loneliness. My mental health isn't the best and I can't take stress well. I might get small anxiety or panic attacks and...

I just don't know what to do anymore...