+ Painted Notes – H2OVanoss +

[Inspired by Layers Of Fear, an absolutely beautiful game that I've fallen in love with.]

Jonathan's P.O.V

It's been years of pain, enclosure, chaining, and what for? My previous sanctuary is now a hell of living, breathing memories, canvases and paint scattered across the broken wood.

I've tried to succeed but I always fail, argh, why cant I just get it right already!?  I have the blood, the skin, the hair, the bone, but what am I fucking missing?

Him

These once candle lit halls are now shrouded in a heavy mist of dust and muck, the only source of light that filled this darkened building, seeped through the stained windows by the beautiful Selene, the one that sits herself far away, high up in the sky, just out of gods reach.

Her

Tiny little sketches scarred the walls with wax chalk, Small drawings that were holding down so many memories, those porcelain dolls staring at me with there piercing glass orbs, cracked bodies and ripped dresses laying like leaves on the floor, previous tears staining the fragile paint that degraded off of there delicate bodies.

Them

Music rung loudly, cracking and chipping away at the frame work, weeping and whimpering burned my ears as they called through the infested structure, paintings hung loosely to the nailed hooks, book shelves and paper laid frozen against the cold, dusty carpet.

He was a musician.

I was an artist.

And she was our, everything.

Alcohol was always a friend of mine, but it got worse as time went on, my mind was constantly twisting around but art managed to pull me back, I always painted, I was always a critic's favourite.

~

Rats moved into our home, feeding upon our food, gnawing at the foot of our beds, bathing in our source of hydration and cleansing, they started burrowing there sick selves deep into my skull, every time I slept I knew they were there watching me, waiting to taste the flesh from with in my cranium, but I wasn't going to allow that.

So I used fire.

Fire to extinguish their filthy rein, exterminate their bodies.

Burning fur and screeches ran through the air as the fire lit against the dry wood based building, my whole mind was engulfed upon the flames as I heard screams call through the crackling atmosphere.

I could've sworn that the screams were from the blasted rodents, but they weren't, they were from my beloved.

Evan.

After the blaze was put out the ceiling and lights leaked the transparent liquid, soaking into the brunt walls and floor as I hurryingly walked through the home in searching for the one I held so dearly.

The medics found him before me, taking his covered self away from me before I could get a glimpse of his faded beauty.

He lay in a metal surrounded bed as tears rolled down my drained face, staining my dull pale colored flesh, "you can fix this right?" I questioned to a Doctor that entered the stale room, my eyes still fixated on what Evan had become, "I'm sorry sir but we can not do that-"

"You can!" I cursed back that the grey bearded man, he's white coat hanging loosely across his shoulders, "You don't understand sir-"

"No you don't understand! You have to do something I- He will be devastated." The doctor just shook his head at me, my body felt weak when the man left me alone with my husband again, gazing down at his burnt pruned up skin I drew my hand up to his partially melted and weak hair, "I'll make you beautiful again." I whispered to his faintly breathing body, while placing a delicate kiss upon the forehead of a man I once saw as a masterpiece, a work of true beauty, a work of true art.

I arrived back to the mess of a mansion to a small note that was pushed inside of the tiny crack separating the two front doors apart, tugging the fragile paper away it slightly ripped at the corner but that didn't bother me.

My worn fingers cracked lightly with the paper as I unfolded it and read the cursive writing, which stated the needed information;

Mister Denis

We are here to inform you that your daughter, (...) Denis, has been permanently removed from your household for we are well aware that you and your significant other are mentally and physically unable to take care of your previously adopted child.

She is now in safe hands of the council and children department and we request that you play her no visits or attention, we have taken none of your inter house belongings of hers.

We hope you can understand.

Sincerely The Child Department Major

Furiously I scrunched up the paper and tossed it to the damp floor from below me, they took my love and now my daughter from me, I cursed myself as I quickly grabbed the sheet that was ever so quickly collecting the water up from the ground, gazing at the melting ink I noticed that my daughters name was completely blurred out, "something Denis..." 

I couldn't remember her name, its gone, its been picked from the fruit of my mind.

Entering the maze that I once called home I searched around the ruins for a sign, a sign to make everything better, everything just right again.

Every step of the way I found pieces, objects, fragments of the once happy past.

I entered rooms to find different pages from my journal scattered everywhere, her toy dolls still starred at me from shelves, the floor and even through windows and my own artworks, everything was watching me, rats, paintings, dolls, even Evan.

My rough hands tugged at my over growing hair, ripping it about tearing it away from my scalp at some parts, my eyes leaked tears as I snarled in agonizing pain, my mind has been ripped apart.

"Why can't I get anything right?" I hissed as my body collapsed in front of my half completed artwork on the wooden stand before me.

"Blood, hair, skin, bone. Blood, hair, skin, bone," I kept I repeating to myself out of frustration as I rocked my weak body back and forth, glass bottles, different shapes and sizes, broken brushes, paint inks and oils, all ratted across this room of madness.

My sore eyes looked up to the art work, "I have to make you perfect." I growled and heaved my body up, heading to the wooden cabinet I opened up the glass lined doors and pulled out a few brown tinged bottles, "Focus. Remember." I mumbled before popping the cork and lifting one of the bottles up to my lips, the liquid seeped into my mouth, burning my throat as it ran down like a river.

And just like usual I sat there on the floor, finishing one bottle after another, at this moment Evan would be at my door, hammering his fist against the wood until his knuckles bled, screaming at me to get out of the room and to come back to him, but he wasn't. Not this time.

~

Many long months past again and mine and Evans names were spread all over the daily paper, the most beautiful person was now a walking piece of burnt flesh and the well known artist had lost it.

Insane.

Evan hardly left the bedroom, he was either lying they're crying or he was singing in sync to his fingers playing away at the piano keys, never would he look in the mirror or even me.

I awake up on the floor hung over and dizzy again, drunkenly approaching the door to a small note from Evan, every day there would be a new one explaining how he cant believe that he loved me, why he even trusted me and why I was the one who got our daughter taken away from us, but today there was just a blank page.

Drunk.

Approaching the bedroom I didn't hear the usual wimping or sad tunes, just silence, stumbling to the door I opened it "Evan ye'in er?" I slurred out, my bladder kicked in due to the alcohol and I hobbled quickly to the on-suite to find that the door was locked, Evan must've been in there, knocking against the door I called to him,

"What is taking so long?  Open this door!"

"Come on Evan!"

No response. My fist hammered against the frame,

"I need to go!"

"Fucking let me in!"

My whole face scrunched up with frustration as I slammed the door aside and entered the tiled room, my eyes shot open as I saw my love lying in the bathtub, single drops hitting the stale water from under the tap was filling the silence of the air.

Delusional.

His life drained with the blood seeping from his wrists that hung over the framed fiberglass edge, his eyes were rolled to the back of his head as his delicate mouth hung loosely open, "oh god. No, NO, no, what have you done?"

Running up to his dull figure that was soaking in the water I grabbed it and pulled his body close to mine in a tight embrace, holding his lifeless arm out in my own I gazed at the practically sliced off wrist, as his head slid to the side it landed in the crook of my neck.

I could still imagine him nuzzling into my warm skin, the way I held his body up reminded me of the times that we slow dance gracefully around the ball room together, "no, Evan... what did you do." My eyes looked away from my soulless lover and to the blade that took his life.

My eyes squinted shut as I whimpered; holding back the tears, while he's body became heavier due to dead weight, "E-Evan." I lightly cried and laid his body against the dirty tiles, walking out of the restroom I angrily pulling at my hair.

"What did I do, argh I fucked up again..... Can't get anything right." I sighed and sat myself against the matrass of the bed, lifting my head from my palms there was one of my many journal notes on the floor in front of me

'Finish it.'

The words were plastid in thick ink, standing up I went and picked up the note, "But how, I've done everything-." Stopping mid sentence I gazed up as my mind rung an idea, it screams insane and psycho but I had to do, what had to be done, create beauty and finally finish what I had desired to after all this time.

Delirious.

My eyes locked onto the body of Evan and I approached him, grabbing the knife that stole him from me I angrily penetrated the blade through the skull right under his eye, with my whole focus I carved the blade through his tight flesh, outlining a circle around his once beautiful chocolate brown orb.

Blood peacefully ran down the side of his face like tears, after I cut all the heavy skin down the eye started to sag down to his internal head, only a few nerves and veins holding the ball up from falling in.

"Finally someone had to bare witness, I couldn't just look at my own art, artist and art piece, and it doesn't work like that." Using my free hand I pushed it under the skin and held the slimy eye against my fingers, lifting it away from the head I notice a long like cord that was still attached to the brain, tugging at the eye the cord broke and the orb was now completely mine.

"It needed an audience, a critical eye on things." Walking into the bedroom once again I grabbed a jar that held a collection of tiny teeth, this was the jar that Evan use to use to collect our daughter's teeth so she continued to believe in the tooth fairy, every night that one of her tiny teeth fell out, Evan would sneak into her room and place a coin softly under her pillow while taking the little prize.

Blankly I tipped the jar upright and all the tiny pieces poured out of the glass container, I dropped the eye into it and poured some of the infested bloody bath water with it too, closing the lid of the jar I held it tightly and walked into my 'art' sanctuary, entering the demolished room I stepped in Front of the canvas gazing at the failed mess.

I grabbed my palate and added the colors, running the horsehair brush against the slightly dusty canvas, allowing my entire mind and focus on the art piece.

Time no longer mattered, I don't know how long I've spent working on this but its finally complete, "T-this cant be true, it is complete, your finally beautiful again." I starred at the master piece, it was a painting of Evan sitting slightly on the side in a black suit with a red tie and under shirt, his hands laid softly over each other and on his lap while his eyes directly looked into mine, perfect skin, perfect face, plump rosy lips and a hint of pink marking his delicate cheeks.

"Finally." I breathed out reaching shakily for the art piece, suddenly Evans voice filled the air in his usual sad humming of opera, I heard the piano slowly tap away at his vocals, while a tiny music box played from behind me.

Turning around quickly I saw a doll lying beside the small pink and white carousel music box my daughter loved, its eerie sound went perfectly with the piano and my loves voice "What's going on?" I mumbled, as it seemed as if the room was spinning around me, turning with the drastic spinning my eyes lost focus of the land around me and everything started to become a blur, Evan seemed to walk into focus as he stood in front of me, he's hand was conjoined with a little girls.

"Stuff you Jonathan." Evan said sternly as I slightly smiled knowing that he didn't swear because our daughter was around us, he never swore around her and he never did, Evan knelt down and whispered into the tiny girls ear, she nodded lightly and covering her ears with her pale hands, his glare was fixated on me as he smiled cruelly and stood up again, his hand rose and he pushed it against my chest,

"You'll never finish it. Your a failure."

And just like that, with all his strength he pushed me back, causing my body to stumble and trip over my leather covered feet, at that moment I felt as if every thing had been pushed away from me, my body forcefully crashed against the painting and I collapsed to the floor along with the wooden frame.

Both Evan and my darling little child vanished from in front of me, never to see them again. I still loved them both so dearly, but my art came first, I had to complete this. I had to make Evan beautiful again.

Getting up from the ground I looked around perplexingly as my eyes grazed the room and saw it was completely clean and fixed, my orbs traveled worryingly towards the painting as I saw it was ruined, "No!" I called out as my legs collapsed from under my stressed weight, my eyes desperately looked at the art piece in hoping this was just my mind playing tricks on me, but it wasn't, from the right side of his forehead and down to under his jaw Evans skin was ripped of and all that replaced it was hanging flesh, his skull faintly showing through the mess, Evan's perfection was ruined once again... "Fuck up." I hissed and grabbed the painting off of the ground, I never blamed Evan for my wrong doings, I'd never do that to the one I cared so much about.

And for my daughter, there were rumors that I hit her on a frequent basis, those are lies, I'd never harm her, w-well not intentionally that is, there may have been once or twice that my harsh palm struck her fragile cheek, but that was out of control, my sight and mind was intoxicated. Like it is now. Like it has been for all these lonely years. Like it always will be.

With that thought I opened a door and tossed the painting into my previous sanctuary that was filled with many more that I messed up, but they were all the same, all Evan, all memories.

The one I lost.

Back to the drawing table I go as I pull out a new canvas and sit down on the old wooden chair, pulling the dirty sheet away I grabbed the paints,

"Make it right."

-

H2OVanoss: Painted Notes

Vast Definition for title –

He was a musician. (notes)

I was an artist. (painted)

2802 words.

Unedited Sorry!

~Yush