All the comedy will be how are you here unless I say it's Modern War

Pip- So I turned 19 this weekend

Pip- It's really weird because

Pip- I feel getting older, but my face doesn't-

Some- *laughing*

Pip- It's tough having a baby face

Pip- I wanted to celebrate having a bottle of wine

Pip- So i went to the store got it and slammed it on the counter

Pip- Cause that's what everyone does right?

Pip- First time at the grocery store myself

20- *laughing*

Pip- She looked at me, the bottle, then back to me and said

??- HA NO!

Most- *laughing*

Pip- I wasn't mad she thought I was underaged

Pip- I look 15 at best

Pip- I was upset that she thought an underaged person would buy wine

Pip- Like what world do you live in where a 15 year old dude is showing up to a houseparty like

??- *kicks open door*

??- Y'all not gonna believe this!

??- I got pinot grigiooooooooo!

Everyone- *laughing*

??- Yeah the grigioooooo

Source-

Pip- So I had a crush I met at high school

Pip- I was thinking about proposing to her

Pip- Since we had been together since 11th grade and I am pass college now-

Pip- But SHE told me this

??- You got 4 months to propose to me or we are through

*laughing*

Pip- So I start freaking out since I am broke

Pip- And my parents doesn't know I have a girlfriend

Pip- So a week later at dinner I got on one knee and she was squealing

??- OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING!?!??

Pip- Naw I got to tie my shoe

*laughing hard*

Pip- Anyways my father keeps nagging me to get a new car

Pip- I got a crappy car

Pip- I do it on purpose

Pip- With a nice car it's impossible

Pip- You gotta be polite and let people cut you off because you don't want to mess up your car

Pip- With a crappy car I can do whatever the hell I want I run these streets

Almost all- *laughing*

Pip- So I got cut off by this dude last week

Pip- I'm not gonna let him get away with it

Pip- So he saw me glare into his soul

Pip- I drove next to him and flicked him off then he flicked me off

Pip- I cut him off he cut me off

Pip- We ended up in a parking lot

Pip- He got out his car I got out of my car

Pip- He was like

??- Yo homie I will key your car

Pip- And I was like

Pip- Yo homie

Pip- I key my own car

All- *laughing*

Pip- Yo this dude wanted to fight me and I was like bring it on I am not scared of you I was bullied when I was younger I seen worse

Pip- And if you fight me your at a disadvantage cause if you beat me up

Pip- You just hurt someone that got shot

Pip- And if I beat you up

Pip- You got your ass kicked

Pip- By someone that got shot

Everyone- *dying laughing*

Pip- Me and my sister got a puppy recently from the shelter

Pip- Lady at the shelter said she was a German Shephard

Pip- I was like yo

Pip- I got a police dog

Pip- I had her for 2 years

Pip- She is still big as a ruler

Pip- Which means the lady lied to me

Pip- Or my dog has Benjamin buttons disease

*laughing*

Pip- She is slowly turning into a pug which is the worse their the ugliest

Pip- They don't have noses and looks like they smoke

Almost all- *laughing*

Pip- Pugs look like they smoke a pack a day they look stressed

Pip- I got a dog so when stress happens in the real world I know when I get home and open my door my dog gonna be there like

Dog- Heyyyyy

Pip- And I'm gonna be like

Pip- Heyyyy

Pip- You can't do that with a pug you walk in and your like

Pip- Heyyyy

Pip- And your pug is like

Pug- *poof* where you been

All- *laughing*

Source-