Eliza- hey baby, you have any shaving cream?

Alex- no, I don't like the way it tastes

Eliza- wait- YOU EAT SHAVING CREAM!?!?!

Alex- what, no why would I eat it if I don't like the taste?

Laurens- I bet I can hit the high note!

Alex- John no-

Laurens- aaaaaaaAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEE

Alex- *covers ears*

Jefferson- how does it feel loser?

Alex- your father bought you duplo instead of Legos

Jefferson- *gasps in Virginian* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!

Washington- the only thing to fear is fear itself

Washington- Also mice, those bastards will getcha

Alex- uhhh sir.....?

*Alex on the phone with Laurens*

Alex- free food? I am in John!

Jefferson- yeah you need to eat, you are short

*Alex pulls out knife*

Alex- what did you say Jeffershit?

Jefferson- Uhhhhhhh

*Jefferson runs away while Madison is laughing*

Laurens over phone- What was that Ax?

Alex- nothing!

Burr- Why do you need to eat to grow-

Alex- I hate you with every inch on my body

Jefferson- not that much then

*Lin manuel miranda arrives in Heaven*

Laurens- so you are the guy?

Lin: Hm?

Lafayette- you wrote Hamilton, Washington won't shut up about fig trees!

*Alex is sick*

Jefferson- Dang, you look like hell-

Alex- thanks, you were the model

Lafayette- good morning father

Washington- good morning offspring

Eliza- Please, go to the doctor for God's sake!

Alex- I am sorry is this OUR stab wound?

Washington- How the hell are you alive!?!?!

Alex, who fell off a building-
I'm just as confused as you

Jefferson- *smiling*

Washington- you're happy....that's new...

Jefferson- why can't I be happy?

Eliza- Alexander fell in the parking lot and almost broke his leg

Jefferson- did you dream about me Alex?

Alex- yes, it was a nightmare

Washington- you are riding on your horse and see Hamilton and I in the road, who do you hit?

Jefferson- Alex, I hate him and would never hit you

Washington- HIT THE REINS!

Alex- Mulligan acts like a child sometimes-

Lafayette- yeah, remember when-

Laurens- he could draw turtles with both his left and write hand at the same time-?

*Mulligan, running in with a feather in his mouth and two hands

Mulligan- GUESS WHAT!

Teen Pip- sometimes I drink milk out of the container

Alex- the cow?

Teen Pip- Pa-

Eliza- ALEXANDER WHY

Washington- Axel is missing

Jefferson- What am I supposed to do? Check his microchip?

Washington-

Jefferson-

Washington-

Washington- I will check it

Mulligan- SHIT A ROACH!

Lafayette- take your shoe off and kill it

*takes shoe of and uses his foot*

Alex- MULLIGAN NO-

Laurens- MULLIGAN WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL