In short, Rosa was tired. Rosa was tired of her job at the library, was tired of her studies homework consuming every minute of her conscious time, tired of not having real friends at her college, and even tired of being tired. It was a cycle- she would work especially hard on psychology homework or history homework or some other subject and get it done early, but then she would find out about another assignment due later and she would be left too exhausted to work on it the same day, thus meaning it was saved for tomorrow. Today was no different. Today was the day before her midterms for psychology. Today, outside of classes and the normal sorting and cataloging at the library, she would dedicate to studying.

            Her phone buzzed, she had forgotten that she had set it to vibrate, and the sudden movement made her jump slightly. Fishing it out of her pocket, she saw that it was a simple text message. It was from her mother, who wanted to know when she would be coming home. Mentally, Rosa did the math. Not only was this the midterms for psychology, this was also the first test so far in the subject. She couldn't afford to fail on this test. That meant she had to squeeze every last drop of knowledge she could from the textbook. She typed out a response to the text, saying that she didn't know how long she would be staying, but would probably come home late. Really, she knew that she would be staying until the library closed at ten, but Rosa felt that saying outright that she didn't plan on coming home until she had to would be a bad idea.

            She waited for her mother to respond before she went in. Just one text, just one signal that it was okay, and she could then start. Until she got the word, however, her attention would remain divided, and that would only harm her studies. She held her breath for a moment, then two, then three, until finally she received another text. Her mom had sent a little heart emoji. Not exactly a 'do whatever you want until I get suspicious' card, but it would do for now. Her mother cared, and understood, and for now, that was enough to satisfy Rosa. Sending an identical emoji back, Rosa smiled to herself as she cracked opened the study guide her professor had posted online.

            The satisfaction wouldn't last, however. It never did.

            Roughly an hour and a half into her study session, her phone buzzed again. Silently, she cursed herself for not putting it on complete silence or turning it off. Since the knowledge and implication of her phone receiving an unknown notification would simply distract her, she picked it up. This time, the text was from one of her acquaintances. She hesitated to use the term 'friend,' since she had only met the person from a group project near the beginning of the semester. Her name was Karis, and apparently, she was going to attend a speed-dating session the day after tomorrow and was looking for someone to come with her so that she didn't feel quite as nervous.

            Rosa's heart clenched. She liked Karis, really, she did, but speed dating was something so far out of Rosa's comfort zone that she may as well have tried walking on hot coals. At least with the coals she would be doing something impressive while learning a new skill. This, though? This was an instant no.

            At least, in her mind it was. What she would actually say to Karis would have to be more subtle and respectful. Instead of a barrage of 'don't ever hit up my phone with this kind of stuff again,' type texts, Rosa decided to blame her film class for her absence. Rosa's thumb hung suspended over the send button. The message was typed out, politeness, apologies, alibi and all, but she still hesitated. She hated to lie to someone who had asked for help, and she hated having to say no because of her own problems. She hated lying to people, especially when she wasn't sure if they qualified as a friend yet. In all fairness, she told herself, it wasn't a complete lie. She really did have homework for film, but it wasn't the type of thing that would consume an entire afternoon like she framed it to be. It was honesty enough though. Rosa hit send.

            It only took a few moments for Karis to respond, just when Rosa's attention was about to shift back into study-mode. Now slightly annoyed, Rosa looked. Apparently, Karis had either seen through the lie, or was just refusing to take no for an answer: neither of which were particularly helpful to Karis' situation.

            "PLEASE!!!" the text read. Rosa had to pinch her nose to stop herself from scoffing. "I've asked everyone else and all of them said that it was a waste of time or they were busy! But they're not busy! I have three of the same classes with them, and they aren't that hard!"

            Rosa felt her heart clench yet again. Karis' group of friends had failed to make much of an impression on Rosa, but she would have guessed that at least one of them would be able to go with Karis, that is if they just didn't want to go. With a start, Rosa realized that her acquaintance was in the exact same position as her; having something she wanted to do, but held back by herself and with no real friends to turn to.

            Rosa bit her lip anxiously. Karis may not have been a close friend, but they shared at least that much in common. Rosa sighed; Karis deserved honesty.

            'I'm sorry. No guy has ever found me attractive enough to ever ask me out, so the idea of chatting up and flirting with multiple different people in rotation is just. . . ugh. I'm so sorry to do this to you but I can't go with you.'

            Rosa sent the text. This time she didn't allow herself hesitation. She was left in suspense for a moment. Finally, she got a message back.

            'It's fine,' she said. Rosa got the feeling that it wasn't fine. 'I completely understand. Jut let me know if you ever change your mind.'

            Rosa sighed in relief and exhaustion. She still felt terrible about leaving Karis to attend by herself, but at least the truth was out there. She didn't necessarily believe that Karis had forgiven her either. She considered whether to send another text or not. She decided not to. Any more apologizing and it would look like she was being distrustful. So instead she just sent a simple thank you. With that last message she felt satisfied, if not exactly content.

            The satisfaction wouldn't last. It never did.

            Now free of distractions, Rosa studied. She studied well into the night, long past when the readings and slides made any actual impact on her. Still, she pursued the knowledge, soon fading into a desperate haze. Eventually, one of the library's employees came by to tell her that the building was about to close.

            Frustrated, she rested her head against her book for a minute, not wanting to put in the effort of getting up and going home.

            Necessity dictated she pack up and go home. Necessity dictated that she at least say goodnight to her mother before going to bed. Necessity dictated that she go to sleep as soon as possible before her classes start early in the morning. On this last account, however, Rosa decided to break away from necessity.

            There, lying on top of her bed, she grabbed her phone. She knew exactly what she was doing, knew exactly who she was texting, and knew exactly what needed to happen. The few friends she had made during middle school had kept in touch; Rosa could guess that this was a remarkably uncommon occurrence for anyone else. She opened up the texts that belonged to the group of friends, rather than any of them individually. She sent a text. Just one very simple text.

            'Hey guys.'

            Markus was the first one to respond; 'A text from Mulligan at 11pm? This outa be interesting.'

            Rosa rolled her eyes and scoffed.

            Patty was the next one to respond; 'Hey there. What's up?'

            Barry was the last one to join in; 'Just got a few notifications on my phone, and apparently the group chat is active. So what's the scoop?'

            Rosa sighed. 'I just wanted to talk to you guys, why does that mean there's something going on?'

            Markus reply was instant. 'Because usually it's me or Patty that starts something and you and Barry that react.'

            Barry replied next. 'Bro it's too late at night to call me out like this.'

            Patty: 'Alright, so what's you preferred time to be picked on? I'll set an alarm.'

            Barry: 'If you must know, it's after meals where I already hate myself for eating too much.'

            Barry: 'I'll let you guys know when my next roasting time is.'

            Patty: 'Cool. Anyways, what's it that you wanted to talk about, Rosa?'

            Markus: 'Do you need to breakdown?'

            Rosa sighed. Markus understood. Bless his heart, despite all the merciless teasing that they unleashed upon each other, they all understood.

            Rosa: 'I need to breakdown.'

            And so, she spelled out everything that was going on around her. How isolated she felt in her college, how tired and overworked she constantly felt, how her studies had sucked her life dry of anything interesting, or anything that she liked to do. She broke down, but in the most cathartic and satisfying way.

The satisfaction wouldn't last. It never did, but whenever it died, at least she knew how to bring it back again.

            No, the satisfaction wouldn't last, but she was at peace with that.