Barry stared at the needle.

It was... beautiful, if you think about it.

The way the sun reflects off it, the way you know it could either kill or save someone...

Barry saw it.

He briefly wondered what would happen before grabbing it and shoving it into his arm.

It was a wonderful feeling.

...

Barry watched as Ronnie flew up into the wormhole.

He watched as Stein fell.

He immediately ran toward him and caught him.

He carried him to the ground and raced back up, desperatly hoping Ronnie would appear.

He didn't.

He prayed silently, but still.

Then he realized.

Ronnie was gone.

And he wasn't coming back this time.

...

Yes, it was wonderful.

The Morphine in his system, it was a wonderful distraction.

Suddenly, he didn't know what a mom was.

Who was Joe again?

I had a crush on someone...

It was amazing.

Why would he ever stop?

...

When he finally ran to Caitlin, he saw her tear-streaked face and knew that she had already figured it out.

Instead of trying to explain, he just gave her a hug as she sobbed into his shoulder.

But he didn't feel sad.

No.

He felt guilty.

...

The next day, Barry did it again.

It was even better every time he did it.

The best part was no one ever noticed.

...

Barry knew he shouldn't, but he wanted to.

No one had to know.

He stared at the needle again.

Then he brought it to his skin and pushed the plunger in.

...

"Barry?"

Barry turned around, the shock, surprise, and fear in his expression.

"Iris?"

"What are you doing?"

Barry gulped.

"Uh... using Morphine?"

...

Barry sighed.

It felt so good.

He missed it.

But for some reason, he was still thinking about Eddie's face.

About Ronnie's.

And Caitlin's.

He felt tears filling his eyes.

He had done that.

He had killed Ronnie, Eddie, and shattered Caitlin.

It was all his fault.

...

"Why!?" Iris yelled.

"I-I..."

"Use your words, Barry."

"I needed a release."

"And this was it?" she countered.

Barry nodded slowly.

"Yeah... it is. I need it, Iris."

Iris shook her head firmly.

"No, you don't, Barry. Don't let this control you."

Then Joe walked in.

...

Why couldn't he forget?

Maybe if he tried more...

...

"Barry... you know you have to stop, right?"

"No! I don't! I'll be fine!"

Joe sighed.

"Barry, do you know how many kids your age I have seen accidentally overdose?"

"But... I won't."

"Kiddo... you might not do it on propose, but it could still happen. I don't want to take that risk."

Barry stared into Joe's eyes.

"What do I even have to live for?"

...

"Barry?"

Caitlin sighed.

She had seen Barry's face yesterday.

She knew he was blaming himself.

She was hoping she could convince him that it wasn't his fault.

...

"Bear... you have plenty to live for. You're dad's freedom, me, Iris, the rest of your life. You can't give up."

"But I want to! It's hard! I miss my mom! I want to see her again!"

Joe sighed as he pulled Barry in for a hug.

"I get it, son. I do."

Barry shook his head against Joe's stomach.

"No, you don't. Don't pretend to, because you don't. And you never will."

...

"Barry!" Caitlin screamed.

She was a doctor, but even she had never seen something so gruesome.

"Barry! Wha-What did you do to yourself!??!? Why!?!?"

Barry was laying on the couch, puke dribbling at the corners of his mouth.

She immediately recognized the scene.

Barry had overdosed.

...

After his talk with Joe, Barry knew he had to quit, even if he didn't want to. He knew it would be hard, but not impossible.

He wouldn't let this kill him.

...

"Here lies Barry Allen, a 26-year-old male who overdosed. He was also known as The Flash, the savior of this city."

Iris sobbed quietly. Cisco wiped at his eyes as discreetly as possible. Caitlin stared at his grave, eyes cold and hard. Joe just stared unblinkingly at it.

None of them could believe that Barry Allen was dead. Sweet, kind, caring Barry Allen was dead.

The thousands behind them were ignored. When Barry had overdosed, Joe had told Iris about Barry being The Flash. She had the idea to post it on the news. She figured Barry wouldn't want them to think he was abandoning them.

Except...

He kinda was.

He had overdosed.

Maybe on purpose, maybe not, but either way.

Now, he was dead, and it was his own fault.

...

They coped in different ways.

Joe realized he needed to spend more time with his remaining kid. He stared home a lot and helped take care of Iris. He couldn't let her join Barry.

Iris coped by writing more stories. She would go online and write fan fiction, write for her job, really anything. Anything to get her mind off the pain she was feeling.

Cisco coped by becoming an alcoholic. He didn't want to feel the pain, so why not numb it?

Caitlin didn't cope. She removed anything that reminded her of Barry, including S.T.A.R. Labs, Cisco, Iris, the news, Joe, police, etc. Then she decided to try Morphine. Shortly after, she ended up overdosing.

After Caitlin, Cisco couldn't even bring himself to drink. He stopped drinking, eating, sleeping, etc. He wouldn't go out. Soon, he died from dehydration.

After Cisco, the one who had always made her laugh, the one good thing in the world, Iris couldn't stand it anymore. She ended up jumping off a 20 story building.

Soon, Joe was the only one left. The sole survivor. He thrust himself into his work. He never found happiness again. He died at the age of 73 from a heart attack.

...

When Felicity, Diggle, and Oliver heard the news, they were shocked.

Barry had a drug problem?

And he had overdosed?

...

They all coped differently.

Diggle just worked harder. He barely knew the kid, so it didn't affect him much.

For Oliver and Felicity, it hit hard.

Oliver thrust himself into working harder as The Green Arrow (GA). He thought if he worked hard enough, maybe he could save some people from overdosing/jumping.

Felicity visited his grave. She remembered the time Oliver was jealous, and she and Barry went on a date.

Soon enough, because Oliver started working more, he stopped sleeping. Anytime he would, he would have nightmares about Barry.

Felicity stopped going on dates. It was too painful

One day, because of his lack of sleep, Oliver became distracted. Because of this, he was shot and killed.

When Diggle saw Oliver's body, he went after the guy for revenge. But he went after angry, and was soon shot as well.

When Felicity saw that the only people she cared about were dead (I forgot her mom), she couldn't handle it anymore. She asked Thea to hook her up (I couldn't help it. It's a great line!) with some Vertigo. She ended up overdosing.

...

Barry's death created a butterfly effect, and because of it, he wasn't around to save the world.

Oliver, Felicity, Diggle, Caitlin, Cisco, Iris, and Joe were the people who suffered most, but millions of others were also affected.

For example: because of her brother dying again, Thea overdosed on Vertigo. Because Thea overdosed, Roy was never able to find love with Thea.

Because of Ronnie's death, Stein didn't have a second person. No one was around to help him get one, so he died.

Because Oliver and Barry weren't around, Carter and Kendra died before they could join the Legends.

Because of Felicity dying, Ray was never encouraged to become The Atom.

Because Sara joined the League of Assassins, Ray never became the Atom, Carter, Kendra, and Stein died, and Jax was never in the picture, Vandel Savage took over the world.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

Because of Barry's mistake, everyone who knew him suffered. Even people who didn't know him.

...

Note: I watched the season finale (season 1) of Jail Break, and I couldn't believe it. This chapter is dedicated to Sara, and if you watched that episode, you'll know why.

I hope you enjoyed!