So I did this last year and I'm gonna do it again, but instead the end of the year I'm doing the end of every month.

And since tomorrow is the first day of September here's the one for August!

Girl in Social Studies: Somebody said you were possessed by a demon.
Boy: Maybe I was.
Girl: What.

L.A. Teacher: You'll survive.
L.A. Teacher: Probably.

Boy: I just can't wrap my head around the fact a stone and a baby taste the same.

Social Studies Teacher: So any more questions about me and my life?
Girl: Have you grown during the summer?
Social Studies Teacher: I haven't grown since sixth grade.

Teacher: *Walks in wearing a bright flamingo blazer*
Career Teacher: Nice jacket.

Boy: Which class is this again? Social studies?
L.A. Teacher: No, it's Math.

Math Teacher: I thought you were eighth graders, not sixth graders.
Boy: We're third graders, get it right!

Boy in L.A.: Screw Adam and Eve.

Girl: It's already a long day, somebody told me to sweep my lawn.

Girl, to us getting new textbooks: These books are so crispy.

Science Teacher: I know, my jokes are great.

Best Friend: IF YOU CAN'T DATE THE CHARACTER YOU SIMP FOR,
Best Friend: BECOME THE CHARACTER YOU SIMP FOR!

Boy: What did I just hear come out of your mouth?
Girl: Sin.

Boy @ his friend: THIS IS AMERICA! DATE WHOEVER YOU WANT!
Boy: Except me.

Girl in L.A.: She knew how much Kahoot meant to me and she took it away!

Girl: IReady is bad for the economy!

Girl in Homeroom: I'm gonna give my kid the middle name "Danger" so they can actually say "Danger's my middle name.".

Social Studies Teacher, throwing candy at us: Nothing like candy at eight a.m.

Social Studies Teacher: Where does the Colorado River run through?
Boy: Ohio!

Girl: I'm gonna freeze.
Boy: Then freeze.

Boy: Who said Stinkards were ugly?! They're just poor!

L.A. Teacher: I don't see how a long work of fiction is a short story, but okay.

Friend: What class are you going to?
Me: Mr. Deal's.
Friend: Oh.
Friend: He's kinda hot.
Me: What?
Friend: What?

Girl: Who's your worst class?
Engineering Teacher: Probably fourth period.
Girl: Oh.
Girl:
Girl: Wait! We're fourth period!

Engineering Teacher: Start cleaning up, we have seven minutes of class left.
Boy: You said that last time! (He got the time wrong last time.)
Engineering Teacher: Shut up, Blake.

L.A. Teacher: Echo immediately fell in love with him and wanted to tell him how she felt.
Girl: That's embarrassing.

In Science there were cardboard cut outs of the teacher to "keep an eye" on us while he stood in the hall.

Instead of saying "Happy Birthday" my Science teacher says "Happy Revolution Around the Sun".

Girl in Band: Yay! Arson!

Boy: Is it even eight yet?
Homeroom Teacher: It is somewhere.
Other Boy: It's five o'clock somewhere!
Girl: Stop.

Boy: What if-
Homeroom Teacher: What if frogs had wings?

Social Studies Teacher: They said the world was gonna end because the Mayan calendar stopped.
Social Studies Teacher: I think they just ran out of room on the rock.

Boy: I'm the center of attention!
Math Teacher: People have to actually be paying attention to you for you to be the center of attention.

Boy: Nothing's perfect.
Science Teacher: *Gestures to himself* I am.

Band Teacher: Let's just spray something in an electronic device!

Some boy got carried through the hall bridle-style by his friend.

Girl in Homeroom: Best friends share the same bladder.

Careers Teacher: You're about as tall as R2D2.
Boy: I am not!
Careers Teacher: You're right.
Careers Teacher: You're shorter than R2D2.

Homeroom Teacher: Are you having a good morning?
Me: Yeah.
Homeroom Teacher: Alright, I'll go away so I don't ruin it.

Science Teacher: For them to breath on air-
Science Teacher:
Science Teacher: Wait.

Math Teacher: Everyone be quiet.
Math Teacher:
Math Teacher:
Math Teacher: *Looks at boy* Xavier.

Boy: My mom thinks speed limit is an option.
Substitute Teacher: It is.

L.A. Teacher: What's it mean to prophet?
Class:
Girl: You can eat cats.

Science Teacher: *Talking about ethics*
Me: *Turns to friend* Y'know, I really didn't feel like questioning my morality today.
Friend: You mean your Patton.

Math Teacher: *Standing in front of the classroom*
Boy: What are you doing?
Girl: Probably thinking about how horrible we are.

(She was taking attendance, if you were curious.)

Boy: Wait, do they mean English or *In really bad British accent* English?
Social Studies Teacher: That's called British.
Boy: Oh.

Boy: Wait, back then it was Spain, right?
Social Studies Teacher: It still is.
Boy: Oh.

(Same boy btw.)

Boy, talking about some explorer: All he did was name some things and die.
Social Studies Teacher: That's what they all did.

Boy: Big is to biggest as good is to... Goodest?
L.A. Teacher:
L.A. Teacher: Sure.

Science Teacher: The way you see, taste, touch, smell,
Science Teacher:
Science Teacher: The fifth one.

Friend: *Tries to pull door open*
Friend: *Pushes it*
Friend: Oh, it's an outie door.

*Announcements turn on*
Principal, over the speaker: I need the following students to report to the auditorium.
Band Teacher: NO! *Dramatically flops to the floor*

(Usually when kids are called to the auditorium they're getting quarantined.)

Boy: Can I go to the nurse? My arm hurts because I slept on it wrong in last class.

Homeroom Teacher, doing attendance: Christopher?
Boy: Columbus.

Best Friend: *Kicking her locker in an attempt to open it*
Me:
Me: Well at least you're kicking a locker and not a child.

Some Boys: *Meowing*
L.A. Teacher: Boys, stop it. You're not cats.
Boy: How do you know?
L.A. Teacher:
L.A. Teacher: You're not a cat.

Boy @ his friend: Congrats! You successfully passed your pregnancy test!
Boy: The only test you'll ever pass.

*Watching a marching band video*
Boy: What are you standing on?
Band Teacher: A lift.
Boy: Oh.
Boy: Because you're short?
Band Teacher:

Boy @ Band Teacher: Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Band Teacher: *Ignores him*

Girl: *Sneezes*
Math Teacher: Well that was the cutest sneeze ever.

Math Teacher: Look, Ben is either an adult or overweight, okay?

Best Friend's Boyfriend: *Kicking best friend's locker in an attempt to open it*
Me: Get you someone who'll kick your locker open for you.
Best Friend: *Smiles proudly*

One of my friends have a pair of paint earrings you can actually use to paint and they just casually started painting in class.

Me: Well I'm going to second period now.
Best Friend: Have fun dying of boredom.

Girl: Are you Edward or Jacob?
Other Girl: I'm an Aquarius.

Math Teacher: Any questions?
Class:
Math Teacher: Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Girl in Band: Let's smoke Aquafina!

School's chaotic.

But it could be worse.