WHOMEVER IS READING THIS, GO WATCH "What We Do In The Shadows" ASAP. IT'S ON HULU AND FX, I THINK IT'S ON SOME OTHER THINGS BUT I KNOW FOR SURE IT'S ON THOSE TWO.

WHY? WELL BECAUSE IT'S LITERALLY THE GAYEST THING I HAVE EVER WATCHED. IT'S AMAZING, THE CHARACTERS ARE ALL STUPID AND DUMB LITTLE CREATURES, THERE'S SO MUCH SEXUAL TENSION YOU COULD CUT THROUGH IT, AND THERE'S ALSO MY NEW FAVORITE BLORBO NAMED GUILLERMO DE LA CRUZ, HE'S AMAZING AND DESERVES EVERYTHING IN LIFE.

AND HE ALSO WON ULTIMATE MURDER BOY ON TUMBLR! THAT MEANS HE OUTVOTED JIM MORIARTY, WHO HAS HAD A CHOKEHOLD ON TUMBLR FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FOREVER.

LOOK AT THIS MAN AND TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE EVERYTHING HE WANTS IN LIFE. HE DESERVES THE EARTH, SUN, AND MOON. I WOULD MURDER FOR HIM. I WOULD OBLITERATE EVERY PERSON FOR HIM. I WOULD BRING ON ARMAGEDDON FOR HIM. I DON'T CARE IF HE'S THE SAME AGE AS MY MOM, I HOLD HIM DEAR IN MY HEART BECAUSE HE'S STUPID AND GAY AND WONDERFUL.

HE'S SO STUPID, LOOK AT HIS LITTLE CARDIGAN. HIS STUPID ROUND GLASSES. WHO WOULD WEAR THAT? I WOULD. I WOULD WEAR THAT, BECAUSE THAT EXACT FUCKING OUTFIT IS SITTING IN MY CLOSET COLLECTING DUST. I'VE WANTED ROUND GLASSES FOR FOREVER TOO. HE'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.

POINT IS, CONGRATULATIONS TO MY AMAZING CHARACTER, GUILLERMO DE LA CRUZ, BECAUSE I LOVE HIM IN A WAY I TRULY CANNOT DESCRIBE. I HAVE A SAD LIFE, BUT THAT'S OKAY.

I'M GONNA GO MAKE BANOFFEE PIE NOW.

WATCH WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS.