*

I almost didn't want to leave my bed the morning after my embarrassing tantrum with Frankie. The only reason I woke up that morning was to take Darko out. It was Sunday and I had been doing a "riding camp" at the barn during the weekdays, but there was no "camp" during the weekend and Christie had Sundays off and would usually spend the whole day at the barn. I didn't want to see her- no, I didn't want her to see me... I didn't want anybody to see me. I called Carlos to pick me up and decided to go to the gym at the estate for the morning. I wished Vati was there, but at least I could have Darko with me in the gym since Vati wouldn't be around to stop me.

My run didn't help as much as I thought and I was indecisive when I needed to go back to the house or the barn. I ended up going to the barn and avoiding talking to anyone. I wanted to take Wolf on the trails, but I was afraid he'd spook and leave me all alone since he'd never been on the trails without another horse with him. He still wasn't that trustworthy. I ended up taking Aragorn and letting Darko follow me as I cantered down the wide path and then picked the least-used trail. Darko seemed to have fun despite the heat and Aragorn didn't seem to mind being all alone with me and the dog. He let me push him to a gallop when we came to a big flower-filled clearing before we got back on the trail and had to slow down so he didn't trip on a root and hurt himself.

I was walking Aragorn when I found myself thinking of my friends. Hayden spent Sundays away from the barn. It was her family's day to spend together unless there was an event like a horse show or something. Grei's foster family had plans during the summer and would often plan fun trips for their foster kids like amusement parks, beach days, and movies. I was jealous, but I felt weird asking about joining Grei. I had done it once and his foster brothers seemed unhappy that I was there so I had never asked again. I guessed I could go to a movie if I wanted, maybe even an amusement park, but going all alone and making Carlos drive me was the saddest thing ever. As it is, I wished I could let Carlos get back to his family. I started hating myself for calling him. I'm sure I was calling him away from his family.

*

I untacked Aragorn as quickly as I could so Christie wouldn't see me. I had been avoiding any areas with people and had untacked Aragorn using a barely used wash rack that was near one of the paddocks just to avoid having to greet anybody like a normal human. I could see the parking lot as I walked Aragorn to his paddock and to my shock, I saw Frankie's car. My heart pounded when I saw him speak to Carlos who had just pulled in ten minutes earlier than I had wanted him to come. I hated making him wait for me when he showed up too early, but he was the most reliable driver; that's why Vati had him assigned to me. I let Aragorn go and made my way quickly back to the far away wash rack where his tack was all strewn about where I left it.

I felt like crying when I thought about Frankie approaching me. I couldn't even make eye contact with him. I had been able to slip out the door with Darko and my phone quick enough not to have to see him, but if he was right near Carlos, I couldn't avoid him unless I tried to hide. I lingered with my tack as I tried to take deep breaths and plan what in the world I would say to Frankie when he found me. I thought I'd be able to plan something on the drive home, but now he was going to find me any minute. I walked as fast as I could to the tack room where my locker was, but as I stepped into the barn, I saw Darko swirling around Frankie with his tail wagging and he spotted me right as I went into the tack room with my arms full. I threw my tack in and used the other door to get out as Darko went bursting in with Frankie in his wake. I wanted to run away. I couldn't face him yet.

To my dismay, as I started running as fast as I could towards the woods, Frankie jogged after me. Darko was tired, but he could still keep up with me.

"Wren!" Frankie pleaded, not sounding breathless at all as I slowed to catch my breath, but continued to walk as fast as my sore legs could take me. I heard him run up behind me. "Wren, stop, please." He said, as I felt his hands grab my shoulders and forcefully stop me. My tears were already plaguing me even before he spun me around and I stood still and avoided eye contact. "I'm sorry." He sounded completely sincere and upset and I tried not to let myself believe him.

"You don't have to apologize." I growled, stubbornly. I wanted to walk away, but I didn't know which direction to go. I just wanted to be home. I didn't want anybody at the barn to see me having another damn break-down.

"Will you look at me?" He pleaded softly. "Come on. I didn't mean to yell at you. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I feel terrible." He crouched down to look up at me and I made the mistake of looking into his heartfelt brown eyes. I swallowed to stop my tears, but they were welling up in my eyes faster than I could prevent. I couldn't think of what to say. I couldn't possibly tell him the actual reason I was upset. I couldn't even look at him without falling apart. "Please, don't cry. I'm so sorry." He begged in his velvet voice. I was looking into his eyes and my mind was blank other than the pain that clouded my vision. He opened his arms for me to hug him and I wasn't able to stop myself from flinging myself into them. He rubbed my back and it only made my tears worse as I pulled away from him and turned to hide my face with both my hands. What was I doing? What was I going to do?

"I can't-" I tried to tell him I couldn't hug him without pain, but that wouldn't make any sense to him. "Ich will nach Hause gehen." 'I want to go home' I whispered with my face still covered as I sobbed. I felt myself collapse to my knees in the grass and I rocked forward to press my forehead to the ground.

He was quiet for a moment and I thought maybe he had left, but then I felt him lift me into his arms. I hid my face in his chest and embarrassment fought to overpower the pain as he carried me to the parking lot. He opened the squeaking door to his passenger seat and Darko jumped in before Frankie lowered me to his passenger seat and closed the door before coming around the driver's side. I avoided looking at him, but I could see out the window that it wasn't tinted so people could see my tearstained face as he drove me away. I tried to calm down as he drove, but I couldn't even figure out what to do. Could I be mad at him? No. He didn't do anything wrong... except for breaking my heart. But he didn't even know.

I was glad I had been able to dry up most of my tears by the time we had gotten home because I could see Loic's beat-up green car was in the driveway. Frankie opened the gate and he followed me as I foggily opened the back door. I didn't say anything even as Loic greeted me hesitantly from where he was shoveling food in his mouth where he stood in the middle of the kitchen. I went up to my room and I was glad Frankie didn't follow me, but I knew he was talking to Loic about me. I grabbed my pajamas and ran to take a shower and change. When I was done, I flopped down in my bed, but I couldn't seem to fall asleep or anything. I was so sick of crying.

"Do you wanna watch a movie with me?" Frankie asked from my door. I didn't answer because I didn't know whether I did or not. He appeared by my bed and rested his chin on the edge to look me in the eyes with that same pleading look that he used to get me to hug him. The full force of it was astonishing and a tear slipped from my eye in an effort to resist giving in. I thought he was getting up, but instead he brought his face close to mine and licked my tear right off my face.

"Frankie?!" I cried with a surprised smile that I tried to cover with my hand while my other went to the wetness he had left behind on my cheek. He smiled at my reaction and raised an eyebrow.

"Come on. You can't hate me forever." He challenged, holding his hand out. "Let's just watch a movie and hang out." I took his hand, like I always did and he pulled me from my bed.

*

I hadn't told my friends about what happened with Frankie, but it seemed our relationship had gone back to whatever it was before. I had pushed down my pain and tried to pretend I didn't have overly strong feelings for my sister's boyfriend...

"You have to tell Janice when Carlos drops you off back home." I pushed Grei, when he told me he hadn't told his foster parents about wanting to take hormones to be male. "We have to tell Hayden and Sadie too, I think." I mumbled in thought. Grei nodded with a sigh.

"You have to tell Frankie how you feel about him." He countered, making me frown.

"It'll just make him weird around me." I grumbled, needing a hug all of a sudden. I fell into Grei's arms with a sigh. He rubbed my back and I rested the side of my face on his neck.

"What are you guys doin'?" I heard Hayden ask cautiously as she approached Wolf's stall in curiosity.

"Nothin'." Grei shrugged after I turned my head to look at Hayden.

"We were just talking. I'm having a rough time lately." I ranted, still standing close to Grei's flat chest. I almost told them about what had happened the previous day, but I just couldn't.

"I'm sorry, Wren." Hayden said compassionately.

"Are you guys working or having a tea party?" a strange girl's voice asked from behind Hayden.

"Who are you?" I asked crossly, straightening up.

"My name is Brianna. I'm new. Just moving my ponies in." she said proudly and with an air of self-importance. Hayden stepped out of the way to face the chubby-faced brunette. Her fists were on her lumpy hips and her baby blue Snoopy camisole was stretched over her surprisingly round belly. She wore navy blue breeches with small white polka-dots and beat up dark brown paddock boots.

"Oh, yeah." I mumbled, remembering Abi asking my permission to say yes to a boarder who moved up from Florida. She strode off towards the barn door that opened to one of the parking lots and we looked at each other briefly before following her. Addy joined us with Athena. She was wearing a brand new white and pastel pink turnout sheet with a white leather and gold metal halter that reminded me of the halters I had bought for Wolf and Aragorn. Addison looked like she was judging the newcomer already, but I wondered if I had too.

We were all quiet as we watched Brianna unhook the ramp of her white and navy trailer. Two high-lighter-yellow-blanketed horse butts were side-by-side in the trailer. I could see that one was mostly black with some white markings and the other looked like a leopard appaloosa with red spots. I guessed that the black one was some kind of Welsh Pony while the other was most likely a Pony of Americas. Both were short and a little barrel bodied and she had her parents, I guessed, back them out onto the barn floor. They both appeared pretty docile as they were led lazily around towards the high-level boarders' stalls.

"Oh, I don't think there're any stalls down there that are open." I said, getting the ordinary-looking man's attention as Wolf whinnied impatiently behind me to be let out as if echoing my tone.

"Abbigail Masters said that we would be at that end of the barn with makeshift nametags." Brianna told me with her hand in the air as if setting me straight.

"Oh, that's weird." I mumbled, remembering telling her to just put her with the lesson horses because she wanted to lease one of her ponies out to the other riders. "I thought, Abbi said she was going to put her on the pony side..." I murmured to Hayden, and Grei, who both shrugged.

"We should get our horses tacked up before camp." Hayden said after Brianna had followed her father, I guess, to the other side of the barn.

"Oh, Wren, I heard you got carried out of here by your knight in shining armour the other day." Addy screamed out for everyone to hear, making my face go cold like I lost color. "And-" her word was enough to make everyone practically lean in. "-apparently, you were crying like a baby." She sneered with a proud smile coming over her face like she knew she succeeded in hurting me.

This time, my tears were tears of anger as I strode away and unlike my tears of pain, I was able to stifle these ones easier as I focused on getting into the tack room, away from the ten or so sets of ears and eyes that were out in the main hall where Brianna was unloading. My friends had followed me and I stood in the tack room facing my locker with my shoulders tense as I tried to decide how to tell my friends without having to relive what happened that weekend. Neither of them spoke, like they knew what happened was hard for me to speak about and I knew Sadie would be there soon and the tack room would be crawling with people when camp started.

"I- I had a fight with Frankie." I told them solemnly. "It wasn't his fault. I was being stupid, but he came to apologize and I guess I kinda had a break-down..." I spun with a frown to see their reactions and they both just looked sympathetic. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm still embarrassed and I kinda hate myself about it..." I blinked my stupid tears away again and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Wren. It must be hard to be around them all the time." Grei spoke up.

"You shouldn't hate yourself. My mom says your feelings can never be wrong. It's not wrong to feel a certain way; you just do." Hayden said, making my eyebrows furrow as I tried to decide if I could believe that.

*

I had been relieved to get on Aragorn and forget my troubles as we gathered with all the campers that were around our age for planned games and fun drills with our horses, but I found myself being called a 'cry baby' by all of Addison's friends like Chelsea and Chelsea's friend who I kept forgetting her name. Then some of the younger campers joined them to laugh at me about being 'carried like a baby'. Sadie was confused and when she looked to us for an answer, none of us could come up with a good way to put it. She was riding Windsor, but I felt like she looked a little like she had outgrown her.

*

It was my turn and urged Aragorn into a working trot, but was caught off guard when the new girl got in the way on her spotted Pony. I gasped and Aragorn came to a sudden stop after a sudden swerve, making me tumble off of him into the dirt.

"Oh, I didn't know 'cry baby' was going." The girl called with a nasty smile as I looked up from where I sat dejectedly in the dirt. The laughter was loud and humiliating and it made me think about taking my friends and ditching camp.

"It's Wren." I announced, trying to lower my voice to sound more authoritative. Aragorn's nose nuzzled me. At least he felt bad that I fell off. I stood up and guided him to the side of the ring to get back on as Meghan, who had been our counselor got back from tacking her horse, Lyric.

"What happened?" she asked me with a smile.

"Nothing. It's fine." I told her, neglecting to mention the new girl breaking barn rules by intentionally trying to cause an accident involving the horses in bullying.

"You never fall off." Meghan commented as she stopped Lyric at the mounting block and I swung my leg over Aragorn.

When we were all on, Meghan had me and Hayden get the gate and the twelve campers followed Meghan's heavy chestnut horse towards the trails as planned for our mid-day picnic.

"Wren," James surprised me, handing his horse, Hannibal, to his boyfriend as he approached me like he had something important to say. "Why do you have dirt on your face?" he asked, sounding like he was reprimanding me and not really asking a question. He used his thumb to rub away the dirt off my cheek and then he straightened my helmet and my jumping vest.

"Thanks." I told him, making him smile.

"Don't mention it, little birdie." He slurred as he sauntered back to his skinny blond boyfriend who kind of reminded me of Loic.

*

We cantered to catch up to the group who Meghan had stopped and was waiting on us.

"Took you long enough!" Addison cried when we skidded to a halt by Grei and Sadie.

"James had something he wanted to tell me." I defended half-heartedly.

"Of course, since you're so important." Sadie muttered as we started moving. I watched her nudge Windsor into a trot as she avoided looking at me and Grei and I made eye contact. He had heard her too and seemed just as disconcerted as me about the angry tone of her voice.

When Sadie ignored me during our lunch in one of the flowery fields, I was starting to get annoyed. As if I didn't have enough people who wanted to make my life difficult, now one of my friends was acting like I had offended her somehow. I kept going over my words in my head and trying to decide if I had an arrogant tone when I lied about James, but I couldn't figure it out.

The new girl fell right in to Addison's group and Addison seemed to be soaking up the attention, flipping her blond hair over her shoulder and batting her blackened eye-lashes. Meghan, I noticed, couldn't discipline Addison if she broke the rules since she was concerned about keeping her job as her nanny and I could tell she was mostly catering to what Addison wanted. She took a higher level cross country trail back and while Addison's Athena jumped the higher jumps easily with Meghan's coaching, some of the smaller ponies like the new girl's Izzy weren't able to. Aragorn, Cherokee, and Cobra had been trained well enough that the three of us had made it to the front of the group beside Meghan, Addison, and Cerry, but the others had issues and even though Meghan told them not to jump the jumps, several of them including the new girl tried and their ponies refused causing some falls.

I could tell Meghan regretted her decision to listen to Addison and even Addison looked annoyed when we had to turn around and head down a flat path. Hayden rejoined Sadie with Grei and me in tow and I could see the anger in Sadie's eyes when she glanced at me. I spent the whole way back still trying to figure out what I did to make her hate me.

*

"Why are you treating me like I offended you?" I asked, storming after Sadie with intensity. She had ignored my innocent question in front of everybody, making me feel like an idiot and then when Grei started ignoring her back, she got upset and tried to escape us by hiding in the tack room. She had a frown on her face and backed away from me a little with a glance at Hayden and Grei as they followed me into the tack room to hear.

"You always tell them things and then keep them from me like I'm not even your friend!" Sadie cried, pointing at Hayden and Grei as she kept her hurt eyes on me. My anger melted away into guilt.

"I didn't know..." I stammered.

"First, my mom says I can't go to the barn anymore, then, I can only go to half the number of shows as you guys, and I'm on the lowest level horse- And now you're even excluding me from being your friend!" Sadie sobbed, making Hayden put her arm around her to comfort her.

"She didn't tell us the whole story either. It's not something I'd want to talk about if it were me..." Grei explained to Sadie.

"The truth is... I keep a lot of secrets... and most of them I keep to keep you safe- safe from... my life, but this one, I kept because I'm embarrassed about it." I frowned at the floor. "I don't want Christie to find out the truth behind why I was upset... because the reason I was crying was because... Frankie... broke my heart." I explained carefully and truthfully, looking at Sadie's tear-filled eyes with tear-filled eyes of my own.

Addison burst into the tack room with her new pink phone out to aim the camera at me and her followers were screaming 'cry baby' and laughing like they were on drugs. I spun and whacked Addison's phone out of her hands making her expression turn to one of absolute outrage as her phone hit the floor.

"Get out!" I bellowed at all of them as Grei grabbed me to keep me from punching Addison in the face, which I was definitely considering. Hayden had blocked Sadie from the camera and Chelsea was screaming in a high-pitched voice about how I have 'no right to break people's phones' as she picked up Addison's phone off the rubber floor.

"That cost $300!" one of them started yelling at me.

"If you minded your own business, the phone wouldn't be broken." I growled, as Addison moved to scowl close to my face.

"You're going to regret that." She said in a savage whisper before she took her phone from Chelsea and led the six people out like some diva.

A/N P.S. Forgot how much phones cost ten years ago... I think my phone was like $600 from a couple years ago :(  

Comment: how much did your phone cost?