tw: extreme homophobia, gore

I have made many mistakes in the past.

Many were small, some were big, and yet nothing compares to what I did back then, the one I can never forgive myself for.

I promised you and myself several times that I'd always be right by your side. I'd never leave.
My intentions were never bad when I did, I just thought that you might have needed some break.

I was just careless, a bit naive just like you-- and that was all they needed.

I have never had an irk towards the colour red ever before, but I had also never imagined that colour surrounding you, and when I finally saw it with my naked eyes, I realized it was all I ever feared.

I could imagine it all, and yet you still stood like a glaring question mark. Just what happened that night?

I lost my breath. November air was colder than ever, and I was infuriated as my eyes skimmed over the wall, the word 'Faggot' spelt across it in your very blood like it would've bothered you. I knew it didn't, I knew you were proud.

Even as you took in those ragged breaths, I knew you were proud, even as I heard you say my name like you had barely any voice left, I knew you were proud.

And even as my world fell apart, crumbling down to the very dust, I knew you were proud.