Ellena sobs aloud as she sits at the kitchen table surrounded by elder she wolves from the pack. As I make my way past them, I am stunned by her suddenly aged appearance. She seems to have aged ten years since the news of Gia's shock departure. Her back is hunched over, her salt and pepper hair is loose around her face and her shoulders gently shake each time her sobs turn her into a mess of shuddering despair. It's just devastating to witness.

I feel for her. Even though I feel like singing outloud about how happy I am the bitch is gone, as I stand at the kitchen counter prepping a bottle, I only feel sad for poor Ellena. I realise I have developed such deep and real feelings for the old Luna. She is starting to mean a lot to me. But make no mistake, If I could, I would celebrate my ass off over Gia's sudden departure, whether I like her mother or not.

Benji enters the crowded room with a forlorn look on his face, his huge frame sunken, head down and eyes focused on the floor. I watch as he shoulders his way through the horde of females to Ellena. He wraps his arms around her shoulders and whispers into her ear.

"We will figure this out." He tries to settle her with a quiet word, meant for her ears only but we all hear him.
His double meaning is loud and clear. Gia is pack, no matter what she is up to.

The tension is palpable as she begins to sob again just as Gainey and a few of the pack trackers enter the now over filled room in search of sustenance.

His eyes quickly lift above the seated Ellena and over the little gathering of woman, catching me watching him, before we both immediately shift our gazes elsewhere. Anywhere but on each other.

I clear my throat and step past the table, placing my hand on her forearm in support as I go to exit. I don't want to be stuck in a small space with the sizeable Beta. My head is all over the place about him and our one sided rejection. Benji follows me quietly out of the room and as we reach the foyer again he stops and leans his laden looking body against the entrance wall.

"We have a lot to discuss Alice, Gainey told me you both know about my attempt at hiding the scents." He says, guilt flowing through his words.

But why?

"I'm not about to question you Benji, as Alpha and her brother,  you have your reasons for protecting her. I'm just not sure where that leaves me." I say, cards on the table. I like Benji, that is the simple truth. But if last night is any indication, I may not be able to trust him as I had initially assumed.

He groans. Pulling his hands cruelly over his face and moves a step closer to me.

"Gainey said you would take it that way. There is a reason I did what I did Alice, but it's not along the lines of whatever you are thinking. You are welcome here. Wanted here. By me, anyway. Please just let me explain it all later." His voice and his face echo such a deep desperation that I don't have the heart to say or do anything other than nod. For now.

He sighs with obvious belief as he ushers me towards the hall.
"Later. I promise Alice. Right now, we have to head out to follow the trail. For Ellena." He smiles softly, adding that last part as an almost after thought.

Curious.

I nod, I have nothing to say really and I move off, leaving him sulking in the hallway as I head down to my assigned room, opening the door to see my little guy already awake and cooing to himself quietly in the bed.

"Morning my darling pup." I say, placing the bottle
down on the side table and scooping his warm little form up into my arms,  pulling him in close.

When all else is a mess in my disjointed life, at least I have this darling boy to come back to. To ground me. To remind me of what I'm doing and enduring all of this madness for.

For him. For them.

I spend the next few hours just enveloping myself in his sweet nature. He looks more and more like his father each day and it hurts me to look into his eyes. Her eyes. It's like my personal heaven and hell looking at the serene face of this boy, seeing them looking back at me but knowing the three will never know each other in this life.

It's a burden and a blessing. A gift and a curse.
A nightmare and a dream.

We must fall asleep wound up in each other because the next thing I know, a soft knock at the door stirs me awake. I slide my arm out from his soft, warm body and cover him up. Wiping my eyes as I head for the door, I find the hulking form of the Beta standing sheepishly on the other side.

"What can I do for you Beta." I ask, my voice a whisper but still very clearly portraying my annoyance at his presence.

He makes a sound at the back of his throat that can only be described as irritation and he doesn't look me in the eye as he responds.

"I thought we should talk, finalise things." He says finally, lifting his eyes ever so briefly to meet mine before stepping back to allow me to exit the door.

I flick a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure Rox is safe before stepping into the hallway and clicking the door shut behind me.

He takes a few steps down the hall and stops outside a room just down from mine, his hand making a motion to usher me inside.

As soon as I step inside the door frame, his scent overwhelms me. It's not his bedroom but it is his room, his office of sorts if the messy, overladen desk gives away any clues. The room is dark, the only light  comes from a small lamp on the desk. The drapes are closed and the dark walls do not help to avoid the gloomy attitude the room gives off.

I snort a little and he lifts his right brow at me in response as he takes a seat at the desk.

"Something funny?." He asks, pushing his sweater sleeves up before resting his bulging arms on the desk. He has ink taking up most of his left arm that I have never noticed before and I try to avoid staring at the intricate work.

I take a seat opposite him, shaking my head.

"Just noticing the connection between this room and you. Dark, with a hint of gloom." I bite out, trying to hide my smirk. His shoulders shrugging are the only response I get.

Blinding awkward tension fills the room the second I meet his eyes across the small, cluttered desk and I squirm in my seat.

The mixture of raw attraction mingled with my hatred towards him sends mixed signals to my brain and other parts of my body and I just want to escape this room. Now. With a sudden urgency.

I begin to tap my foot up and down as I send my gaze whizzing about the room, anywhere and everywhere but on his stupid gorgeous face.

His incessant throat clearing interrupts my panic and I shift my eyes to meet his. Finally. The look he wears is perplexing. He too seems uncomfortable, that much is evident in the layer of sweat that has formed on his plump upper lip. His eyes dart between mine and then down to his wringing hands that he keeps adjusting on the desk.

"Please, just do this Beta. For both of our sakes." I surprise myself and him with my upfront words. His brows pull together and he opens and closes his mouth a few times, as if he can't form any words.

It's strange. Because I know he has no issue saying things when he wants to.

I just sit and stare, my eyes locked on his, challenging him to say something. Anything. My pulse races just from the anxiety of sitting in a small confined space so close in proximity to him.

I don't want to sit here and notice things about him. Like how his hair seems golden in the dim hue of the room. Or how his eyes seem to transform into two dangerous, alluring puddles as he stares at me.

And I definitely do not want to think about what all of that put together is doing to me on the inside. My thighs rub together as I try to quench the thirst that is currently rising like a desperate tide.

When did I become this thirsty bitch.

I'm a second away from jumping out of my seat and escaping this torture when he finally speaks.

"I do not accept your rejection." He blurts out. And it seems as though it takes us both by surprise if the look on his face tells me anything.

I don't think he has a clue what he is doing.

"Sorry what?" I ask, spluttering the words out. I have never heard of anyone rejecting a rejection. Trust this asshole to be the first.

"I reject your rejection." He says again, this time slower as he stands and stalks around towards my chair. I swallow hard as he places a hand on each arm rest, lowering his body towards mine so that his breath warms my face as he cages me in.

"Do you need me to say it again Alice?" He growls out, so low and so close to my face that it sends involuntary shivers down my spine. Not to mention what his voice and proximity are doing to the recently awakened part of my body that seems to like him the most.

Traitor.

I try to squirm my way out of his hold but he isn't budging. Instead, he leans closer still, placing his nose into the sensitive skin where my neck meets my collarbone, inhaling as his nose touches my skin, causing goose bumps to erupt on the entire surface of my neck and my body responds with a top to bottom tremble.

"Fuck." He whispers, his lips on my skin as his fingers carefully slide down my arms, leaving my skin sizzling in their wake.

I seem to be frozen in place. From absolute mind altering confusion and something I haven't been plagued with ever before.
It's been a long time between touches and it seems my lady parts have awoken from a long, dry slumber.

Lust. Traitorous, filthy lust ignites from within, spurred heavily by the retched mate bond and all it's slutty, desperate glory.

I know what is happening isn't helping things but I can't resist the pull I feel. Towards him and the way his touch lights me on fire like no other. Not even close. Being wanted. Desired. Just being close to someone. It's been so long. And it's him... he may be an ass, but he one hell of a sexy ass.

Set a match and watch me burn people . Because the heat is irresistibly bad. And I want to be nothing but ashes under his touch. Even just for a second.

My hands have a mind of their own and as his tongue slips out to taste my heating skin, I find my way along the ridges and curves of his shoulders, using my tips to tease his flesh. Each muscle is it's own landmark and my mind conjures up images of all the filthy ways we could discover them. Plunder them. Defile them.

His movements become more frenzied, urgent and hips lips work their way up my neck, in search of their ultimate goal. As he pulls back to look at me, his eyes search mine for permission as his gaze switches from my eyes to my lips. And I freeze.

I'm so torn in this moment. Every girly hormone in my being is screaming out for me to get some but my mind is reeling.

This man hurts me, time and time again. Is it me he is into right now or is it the shady little mate bond, sparking and scratching to life when we are too close like this.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I press forward and connect my lips to his. Fireworks explode between us and I exhale at the same time as he does.

This, this is the moment they all speak of. The click of the connection. The pooling of emotion. The bond. All of these things, individually yet combined, coursing through my veins like my very own life source.

Our tongues clash for entry into each other's mouths and the kiss hits another level. Epic. Magnificent. His hands are grabbing, things are touching everywhere and I sigh as I meet his warm and sultry lips, stroke for stroke. Pace for pace.

I lose all track of time. We could have been here for hours or mere seconds but a gasp at the now open door brings with it a harsh dose of light and crashing reality.

Gainey pulls himself away from me, his face a picture of agony and disgust and he has me scrambling to figure out if the feelings are aimed more at me or himself.

Our intruder clears his throat as Gainey and I catch our breath, standing a few feet apart but again, feeling as though we are once more drifting further away. The chasm opening up between us as it always seems to do. One step forward, one million miles tumbling down the growing hole.

Benji looks from one of us to the other several times before his features distort with a look that I can't decipher. Disgust? Disappointment?

I can't tell. I don't know which way is up.

Gainey takes one more look at me, not saying a word as he storms past Benji and out the door, a Gainey sized fist hole in the hallway wall is the only evidence that he was actually just here.

"Alice I... I didn't mean to...". Benji starts but seems uncertain how to put into words what he just witnessed.

That seems to make three of us.

"It's fine. It was nothing." I say as I make an effort to straighten myself up, heading for the door without a further glance behind me. I leave him in Gainey's office as I make my way back to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me.
I'm going to hide the rest of the day in here, or as long as it takes to get my shit together.

This cannot happen.
I mean it.

This is just another reason to get this rejection complete. He can go to his precious Gia. I can do my part, whatever I can do to help and we can get back to the real and very pressing issues at hand.

Yep. That's it. That's all. I take a deep breath as I head into the bathroom, easing the door shut and exhaling a deep breath as I stand on the cool tiles.
I stare at the stranger in the mirror, the girl with the swollen lips and mussed hair. The one who just kissed the shit out of her rejected mate who supposedly hates her.

Turning the shower on, I recite the words in my head. Over and over. Like a repetitive slap to the face.

Get your shit together. Get back on track, like the kiss never happened. It was nothing, nothing.
He will go back to ignoring me once we have completed the rejection and all will be fine.

Easy. Great even.

I almost believe myself.

But first... a cold shower.