The screams that fill my nightmare force me awake sooner than I had hoped for. I can't hide from these memories in my sleep like I can compartmentalise them during the day. The nights for me are filled with either terror or baby sputum but no matter the state on consciousness, my mind is plagued with the love I have lost. As I toss and turn myself awake, I automatically reach my hand over in the bed searching for Rox but when I don't feel him anywhere, my eyes spring open with a fever to murder whoever took him.

I throw back the covers, frantically searching for him in case he became stuck inside the thick blanket layers.

Nothing.

I spring out of bed with every intention of scouring the house for him, taking names and throats as I go, but then as if sensing my deathly thoughts, the door to the room breaks open slowly and Ellena's round face peeks around the frame.

When she sees the look on my face, her head disappears again, replaced by the sweet little form of Rox.

I breathe a sigh of relief and sink into the arm chair by the bed. Murderous thoughts disappear as Ellena appears again, rox in one arm and a steaming cup of something with a delicious aroma in the other.

"Heard him start to wake a few hours ago, thought you could use the sleep in." She says with a small smile, handing over the coffee and leaning in with Rox so I can kiss his little round cheeks.

"Bless you." I say, skulling the boiling liquid like my life depends on it.

" Why are you here so early?" I question as Ellena places Rox on a blanket on the floor as she goes about straightening the bed covers.

" What are you doing? Stop that, i can do that." I say but my efforts to stop her are futile. She pushes my hand away as she makes up the bed perfectly, before scooping up Rox and placing him in the middle of the bed and sitting herself on the edge. I return to my haven in the arm chair.

" Well, as it happens, our Beta Gainey returned home late last night with some news." She starts but all I hear is the wild beating of my heart inside my ear drums. Gainey. The tracker. That was his voice last night.

Fuck. Fuckity fuck. The jig is up before it even started.

Snapping fingers bring me out of my panic and into the present.

" You still with me there?" Ellena questions, waving her hands in my face to snap me out of my insta coma.

"Ah. Yeah sorry. I'm so tired these days, i just fall asleep even when I am awake." I cover with a laugh as she just shakes her head and continues.

" As I was saying, Gainey returned late last night with news that we have been waiting to hear and he seemed very interested in the new scent in the house."

Crap.

I mask my fear with fake interest.

" Is that so?" I ask, acting my ass off while I plot my exit. Stage immediate.

" Yes, oh boy was he all in a flurry last night, wanted to meet you that minute, he is very protective over the pack you see, but Benji made him wait of course. That's just not proper." She rattles on whilst the angst inside of me grows to epic proportions. He is going to know who we are isn't he? He is going to out me. He is going to ruin everything.

" Of course Benji explained a little about your situation and I told Gainey about the miracle you performed yesterday and he was shocked to say the least." Ellena continues on, not noticing the earthquake that is happening with my hands around the cup.

I phase out again while my mind tries desperately to plan my next move and then I'm rudely interrupted by snapping hands in my face.

" Heavens girl what is wrong with you today? Did you hear what I said? It's a shame, but you will have to wait to meet Gainey as he took off again just now. Pity really, he was very keen to meet you and Rox. Especially Rox." She says, proudly and for the first time since she entered the room, I am able to function.

He has left again. Why didn't she start with that?! Shit. I almost had a stroke.

I sink back my remaining coffee and use the burn down my throat to wake me up thoroughly.

I need to make a back up plan for Gainey. Another lie to complicate my already jam packed, lie filled life. Lovely.

Ellena takes note of the blank look I wear, my poker face is such rubbish these days. She clears her throat to get my attention;

"Anyway, Rox here has been fed and cleaned up and since he will most likely nap soon, I thought you might like to let your wolf out? I bet it's been a short while hasn't it?" She asks but I know she knows the answer already.

"It's been a hot minute." I say, trying to remember the last time my paws felt the dirt beneath them. The stirring inside me lets me know it's been far too long between runs.

Ellena grins at me knowingly.

"I thought so. Lucky for you, Benji wants to patrol, perhaps he can show you the lands?" She says with a nod towards the door.

A carefree smile, the first in a long time, erupts on my face and Ellena matches it.

"Go, enjoy yourself honey. Then we can go and see Mandy." She says and my eyes go wide.

Mandy. I wonder how she is.
Ellena notices my change in expression and stands, taking my hand in hers;

" Mandy and her baby made it through the night. The both of them." She says with a sweet and sincere smile.

"Thank you." She smiles at me brightly. It's so sincere it hurts my heart a little. Because I'm not.

"I'm so glad." I say and mean it. I may be leading a double or triple secret life but I know my stuff when it comes to my job.
It's the one aspect of my life where I can be my true self. I treasure it.

"Now go, Benji is waiting down the hall for you, I'll see to it that this young pup gets a nap." She swats my ass as I go to leave and I stop in my tracks, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"I'm not sure how I was lucky enough to meet you but I'm grateful for  every minute I'm here." I whisper into her ear before I make my way out the door.

"Also, that was the most action I have had in quite a while." I say with a wink and I jog out the door as her laughter turns into a snort.

Itching to be set free, my wolf scratches at the edges of my mind. I can't even remember the last time I went for a run and was not worried about being chased. Heck yeah... we are going to run for as long as I can.

As I reach the end of the hall, I take in Benji's shorts and tank top, his majestic form on display and before he spies me, I sneak a perve. His future mate is a lucky bitch. He is a specimen to behold. And touch up. Man, I would love to touch him a whole load but I suspect that he is an honourable wolf, such as I grew up with.

A one she-wolf man. It doesn't for one second mean I can't ogle the shit out of him.

As I get my horn bag ass into the foyer and metaphorically wipe the drool from my chin, he turns to face me with a dazzling smile.

"Here she is, the saviour of the pack." He smiles broadly at me and reaches to shake my hand.

"Well, that's certainly a greeting I can get on board with ." I say with a smug grin. taking his hand and dipping my head as a sign of respect.

"Ready for me to show you the grounds?" He asks and I let a sinister smile take over my face.

"Ready for me to show you up Alpha?" I ask in jest and a glorious grin spreads over his chiseled features.

"Bring it on Alice. Though I should warn you, loser buys coffee in town." He says with a chortle and we head out the door. He shifts on the fly and I don't miss the short glimpse of his naked ass as he does.

Thank you goddess.

I pull off my own shorts and tank and toss them by the door and then I get prepared to feel my bones ache as they shift and sort into the skeletal shape of my wolf. The soft tan of my skin becomes the subtle sand shade of my furside, save for the blonde cream tips of my ears and feet. The same as my mothers wolf.

It doesn't take me long to shake off the burn that lengthy time without turning causes my skin and muscles and I turn the slow, tentative steps I'm using into the long, lean lunges of my wolf.

A loud yip out ahead of me makes me drop my ears and lift my head, searching for the owner of the sound. I see him just beyond my eye line.

He is hard to miss, even in this form he is spectacular.

His long, broad and toned physique has transferred to his ginormous dark grey wolf. His fur has a black streak that runs from the tip of his tail, slinking along his spine and ending at his neck line. His four massive paws stomp the earth and dig up clouds of dust.

He is being huffy.

Two can play at that game.

I shoot ahead towards him, the feeling of my limbs stretching and striding towards him sends a buzz through my body.

I love being free like this. At one with my wolf. We are one nature. One wild. One soul.

I come to a halt before him, exposing my neck to the side just enough for him to bend in close to rake over my scent. The males are all the same. His wolf postures at the sight and smell of an unmarked and unmated female and he is too busy sniffing about my nether regions to miss me taking off in a wicked sprint away and over the hills behind him.

Eat my literal dust pervert.

I let out a smart assed howl as I continue to run, knowing all to well that the chase has just began, and loving every free second of it.

It takes him all of thirty seconds to catch me. Nipping at my heels as he passes. His size and speed are somewhat more than mine but I can hold my own. We run at full throttle for what feels like hours but I know it isn't that long.

I'm too busy enjoying the soul blinding bliss that comes with being in this form. For my wolf, there is naught but the run and the wind. Maybe hunting. Some cheeky harm less flirtation perhaps. A little rub of the hind parts if we are feeling kinky.

But there isn't any drama. Wolf world is much more simple than that of our human side.

You see something? You take it. You want to chase someone? You run.

Sometimes I feel like getting lost in this form just to save myself the trauma of my other half.

My blissful thoughts are rudely interrupted by a wash of dirt being kicked in my face as the Alpha changes direction all of a sudden. His hackles raised and his teeth bared.

This was not in the brochure.

He turns his head to make sure I flank him and we run like this until we reach a place where his scent is faint and something else begins to come into focus.

Another scent. Another male scent. Two. Not of this pack. The Alpha wolf lets out a menacing growl and it is mirrored by a few others further back towards the pack lands.

Back up is coming.

In the distance I hear another strong howl. This one makes the Alpha stop and look back over his shoulder, but towards what or who, I have no clue.  But they are someone. But they are a fare distance away.

We reach the border of the pack lands and the Alpha wolf growls at me, digging his sizeable paw deep into the earth, indicating that I go no further. This is the end of his land. The barrier for his protected area.

His head whips back towards the front line and I follow his gaze and echo his deep growl.

Two wolves are stepping out of the tree line, larger than I am but nothing compared to Benji. And they are thin and a little mangey.

They stalk towards us slowly, keeping in line with one another, teeth bared and backs raised. It's a threat. A message. They are not here in peace.

As they edge closer, too close, the thunderous sound of multiple sets of paws sound behind us. The back up is coming and they are moving at pace.

Again the strong howl sounds, this time to our left and a little closer and Benji turns towards the sound, searching through the tree line for whomever is making their presence known.

Whoever it is, I hope they are on our side. From their sound alone, I can tell they are strong. Something in my wolf sense tells me they are something we weren't expecting. Someone of importance for the pack.

The hoard arrives behind us and come to stand in flank with Benji. Three wolves now stand with us just as the two wolves on the opposing line draw to a stop. They have not quite reached the line that divides us but now the numbers are uneven, they are acting with more caution.
Not so brazen now are you mother fuckers.

My wolf bares her teeth in aggression. She clearly sees this pack as hers. It surprises me and Bemji, he nods his head and runs his snout into my shoulder. Rubbing it a few times. A sign of friendship. Kinship even.

Plus, she doesn't want these two near our pup.

Benji starts to pace up and down the line once more as a vicious snarl sounds from the opposition. They flick their heads towards me. Lift their legs on the line. Posture themselves towards me. Showing their interest in the unmated female present.

I feel like puking.

Benji lets loose a deep growl. He digs his paws into the dirt. He lowers into an attack position, baring his teeth and snapping his strong jaws open and shut.

It's all a show. It's a power play. It's peacocking. Wolf cocking even. He is showing what we have on our side. Pure power. Strength. Aggression.  He is saying that I am not to be touched.

And If that wasn't enough, just as he stands to attention once more, another massive,very masculine, very high ranking wolf appears from the tree line. His size and girth matches that of Benjis but his colour is what really sets him apart.

He is the deepest of blacks I have ever seen. As he sprints across the centre of the field towards us, his paws barely touch the ground, making him seem like he is flying and his colour shines like diamonds in the sun. It makes him seem almost blue in the bright sheen of the high noon light.

He is magnificent.

He comes to a trot just in front of me and I don't miss the snap of his head in my direction and the distaste in the form of a snarl that leaves his lips before he shifts his gaze back to Benji and the two wolves who have now started to back track.

What the fuck was that?

I switch my focus back to the threat as Benji grunts and nudges the black wolf.
If the two strangers were out numbered before, they are downright ass whipped now. They stand no chance with two wolves the size of what we have here now.

The snapping of bones and tendons in front of me whips my mind to attention as Benji and the black wolf shift in front of me.

Benji stands in his bare- all beauty before me but I cannot tear my eyes from the absolute prize next to him.

Because the raven haired man, with the deep charcoal eyes and sculpted masterpiece of a body is a sight to behold. He is carved muscle and poetic perfection on another level. He has so many tattoos on his body, it's like a canvas of art.
I would really like to climb this monument infront of me.

He is every bit as sturdy, strong and power omitting as Benji. He may even be slightly more so. He is undoubtedly an Alpha but why is he here? And why does he stand to the left of Benji, the traditional Beta position.

All in itself curious.

But the reason I find him more than alluring and unnerving at once is because of what I realise the moment his eyes lock with mine.

All the moments and all the places I have been in my life. All the events that have transpired of late which have all lead me here.

To this place.

To this exact moment.

Have lead me to my mate.

Who seems less than thrilled to see me. Let's be honest, he looks down right pissed.
I might be shocked but he looks to be absolutely fuming.

Well... fuck me.