Alice

The air bag exploding in my face hurts like a son of a bitch. I really did not think that through. On the drive to the cabin grounds of the rogue pack, I was planning to go with a discreet and stealth method of entry.
Crashing the car head first into the side of a low lying building was not in that plan. At all.
But, it seems to have been affective, if not extremely painful and seriously obvious.
Driving into the dark camp site was probably stupid but as I came upon the back entrance, all I could scent was him. Gainey. And not in a normal way. The overwhelming stench of fear and guilt was permeating the air and I just lost all regular train of thought.
Hence the crashing.
Once the dust settles enough for me to see what I have battered my way into, I hastily free myself from the wreck of my totalled vehicle, kicking the door open and scrambling out. I'm shaken up but I seem to be mostly intact which is lucky considering the speed snd impact.
I can hear a commotion out behind the building and I know that people are now very aware something out of the ordinary has happened. I need to get Gainey and Benji and get out of here somehow.
I can just about make out the form of a few bodies lying under the remnants of the side of the wall I took down. My bloody and sore nose tells me the one to my right is Gia. Her face is covered in debris and a large slab of concrete wall lies on top of her chest. I move quickly over to her, placing my pointer finger on her neck as close to the pulse point as I can. Her pulse is weak but it's there.
The bitch is alive. Of course she is. My hand to the side of her chest allows me to follow her respiration rate and though it's slower than normal, it's regular.
She is ok for now.
My priority switches to the body to my left. All I can see is two shackled feet and crumpled up pants around his ankles.
Gainey's torso is obstructed by a huge, heavy partition of metal bars and crumpled wall.
As I get closer I can see that his head is bleeding profusely from the base and without even moving him I know this is bad. His face is turned away from me so as I try to creep my fingers under some of the fallen structure to feel for a pulse, I allow my eyes to wonder over the side of his head. Blood seeps from his ear and into a puddle at his neck.
My heart sinks. That's not the best of signs and coupled with his extremely weak pulse and nearly non existent breathing, I know he is in a bad way.
I struggle to try to move some of the load off his chest but I only succeed in shifting a minuscule amount before the sound of company starts to grow louder.
Fuck. I can't do it. I can't save him. Not alone. Not before they get here.
My mind spirals as I pull away some small rocks to sit next to him, hands on the pulse in his neck. My mate. The mate I didn't even want but can't bring myself to walk away from now when I really need to.
This is not supposed to be how this goes.
Nothing in my life this far has been anything like I expected. Or hoped for. Dreamed about.
Gia startles me with a coughing fit and I swing my head over to look her way, keeping my fingers on Gainey, his pulse weaker by the second.
He is almost gone. The least I can do is stay by his side whilst he passes over to the moon.

"Is he ok." Gia manages to whisper out, her voice is laboured and rough. Like sandpaper to my ears.
None of this would be happening if it weren't for her.
Gainey dying.
Benji missing.
Me, likely to be murdered in the next few minutes.
Inhaler in her direction as she tips her head to stare at me.

"No. He is dying. Thanks to you. Hope this was all worth it." I spit out, I don't even care if she dies with those words in her head. It's the truth. What a waste of life. All for what? Why is she even here.

Her sobs don't make me feel any better however. In fact, I feel like a bitch for making this worse, but fuck it. I don't have it left in me to care right now. I'm likely never going to see my son again because of this wolf.

She coughs again and I look back to see her still staring, at Gainey though, not me.

"Quick. Before they get here. Do it. Do it now. Complete the bond. Find the others in the cabin by the lake. Get them and go. Tell my mom... tell my baby.. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She sobs, alternating between coughing and crying.

I have no clue what she is on about but I'm not about to leave Gainey to die alone. I at least owe him that much.
My complacency doesn't seem to please Gia.

"Do it Alice. Now. You stupid bitch. Bite him. Make the bond. It's the only way. To save him." She says, impressing me with the amount of venom she has left in her this close to the end.

But then her words sink in. Start to make sense. The bond. The mating bond. It's not just our minds that join. It's our essence. Our strength. Our very being.
If I bite him now, on the edge of death, it would save his life. Yes. Hopefully. But it would also half seal the mating bond. That would be it for me. Forever. Even if he didn't mark me...

Can I do this? Without his consent. Push us both into a forced bond? What's my choice? Mate him or leave him to die? Thinking about all of our history to date, I can't help but wonder if he would choose the latter.

Fuck. Of all the fucked up choices in my life, this one, this one takes all of the cake and damn well eats it all.

Gainey's breathing chooses this moment to turn into a rattle and I know I'm out of time.

Gia let's out a whimper and I close my eyes and try to breathe. Gets some sort of clarity in this mess.

Breathe Alice. Just breathe.

I have an adopted son. I didn't think I wanted him. And now I can't live without him.

Is this it ? Is this how I find a mate? By force?
I never thought about taking someone's free will away from them. This feels all kinds of wrong.
But so does watching him die when I can do something about it.

Voices yelling from mere metres away shocks me into action.

I kneel, leaning over Gainey, looking for any kind of sign of life. Anything that makes me think this isn't the only option.

I get zilch.

Fuck it all.

As I lean over, placing my mouth to his neck, as close to the collar bone as I can, I hear what are likely Gia's last words.

And how sweet they are.

"You don't deserve him."

With that kind memento, I curse inside my head and close my eyes as I allow my teeth to elongate in my gums and sink them into the soft flesh of Gainey's neck.

His blood spills over into my lips and down my throat as his very life source mingles with my own.
I feel the very moment our souls begin to entwine, his heart rate begins to beat in time with mine, his mangled thoughts and emotions begin to course into my mind.

His fears. His sadness. His epic hurt.

It's enough to have me withdrawing my teeth with haste, licking over the two indented marks to seal them and licking my lips clean off his blood.

Tears fall down my cheeks as I sit next to him. For me. For what is done. For him. For the life he has lived.
Our struggles are funnily enough, the thing that we have most in common.

Our combined grief is enough to sink many a ship but somehow, for some unknown reason, here we are, still sailing. Still navigating the rocky and relentless oceans of our lives. And now, we are both at the helm together.

His breath starts to even out as his eyes begin to flutter open and shut.
I move my hand around to the base of his head and I'm relieved to find that the bleeding has stemmed.
This mating business is seriously magical. If we could bottle it, we could save so many people.
I feel a little out of breath and dizzy but nothing too bad. Manageable.

It's as scary as it is amazing.

The incoming wolves are closer now and I can scent at least four or five. We need to move. Now.
I can't wait any more for his healing to accelerate. I need him awake. I need him to move.

I carefully move his shoulders, and starts to try to wake him, wiping my hand across his face.

"Gainey. Wake up. Please, I need you to help me move this slab. We need to move." The desperation in my voice makes me sick but I'm genuinely worried. I'm injured. And no match for four or five male rogues alone.

A low grunt lets me know he is at least more alert now. I'm even annoying him in his half conscious state. Just wait til he wakes up fully and realises what I had to do.

I swallow hard just thinking about it.
Later. I'll deal with that later.

I sneak a glance over to Gia, the dust around us settling enough to give me a better view of her. She is still. Very still. A low rattle is the one sound coming from her direction and I know that she is circling the drain.
Gia is going to die here. Ellena is going to lose her daughter.

I won't let her lose anyone else.

I shuffle closer to Gainey and shake him harder. His disgruntled groans are at least a sign that he is getting stronger.

"Hey. Gainey. Wake up. Now. Please. We need to move." I whisper shout but I stop when his head begins to move and he turns towards me, his eyes fluttering open and closed before finally staying open and focusing in on me.

His eyebrows crease slightly as he stares at me.

"Alice? Are you really here?" His voice is scratchy and sounds as though just speaking hurts him. I place my hand on his face and nod.

"Yeah. I am. And in about five minutes, about four rogues will be too. So can we please get out of here?" I ask, as he continues to just stare with wide eyes at me like I'm some sort of enigma.

Yelling from just beyond the blocked door has him
Shaking his head and I begin to start to attempt again to get the debris off his chest and legs.

This time, he is awake enough to help and as we are finally able to slide the last of the heavy bars and broken pieces of wall off, his lower body is finally freed.

And in more ways than one.

His hips and genitals are completely in view and it's apparent now that his underwear and pants are both situated around his ankles. His face takes on a more grey tone as he rolls himself over to his knees and begins to try to wriggle his underwear and jeans back up his legs hurriedly.
His struggle is real and it's awkward as all hell and though I am trying hard not to focus on this new development as I try to help him get them up and prepare to move, my mind is reeling.

I just saved him. I just wasted the only mating I will ever have. On someone who was getting down and dirty with the very reason we are all in this predicament.

The irony is not lost on me. In fact, it's just bitch slapped me.

Gainey opens his mouth to speak as he turns to face me but the noises on the other side of the door are so loud now, we know there is literally one slab of smashed concrete separating us.

"This way." He says quickly, not meeting my eyes as we make our way out back past my crumbled car and our the way Gia suggested. We don't spare her a look as we leave. Her scent alone lets me know she has passed.

As we move silently through the cover of overgrown grass, Gainey flicks his gaze back over his shoulder towards me;

"Gia?" He questions, pausing and pulling me down next to him as another rogue voice sounds out close by.

"Dead." I say, monotone and empty as he just nods in response, swallowing hard and tipping his head in the direction we need to go.

"Are we going to talk about what you did?" He says quietly as we come to a stop outside of the last cabin before the lake.
We sink down into the grass, covered for now until we can get a look at what we are dealing with. When they aren't dealing with the mess we just left, they will scent us in no time.

He turns to face me more and I can't for the life of me meet his gaze.

There are so many emotions and thoughts causing riot inside of me right now, I fear I cannot even make a complete thought. Let alone a full sentence.

"I saved you." I manage, still not looking at him. His gruff snort in response is all I get.

"And what you saw...". He starts but stops, clearing his throat, clearly not wanting to discuss the interruption of his tryst with the woman who not only broke into their special moment but also, marked him without his consent.

"Forget it. I'll just, I'll figure out a way to get us out of this when we get back. Ok? She told me to. If that helps." I stutter, the evidence of my embarrassment creeping up my neck and onto my face.

Gainey snorts again and this time, when I manage to look at his face, I can't make out what his expression is trying to tell me.

He shakes his head.

"What are you on about? Out of what? What do you think you saw back there Alice?" He says, clearly bewildered.

Is he going to make me say it?

"Fuck. I don't know. Ok? I don't know what you two have. And I don't want to. All I know is that now I have fucked up even more and I never would have thought to unless she mentioned it. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wish I never did it if that makes you feel any better." I stare at him now. His shocked face still looking at me as though he has no clue what I am even on about.

And it occurs to me now that perhaps, he doesn't. With all that he just went through, he was likely unconscious for most of the marking.

Fuck. Now I have to watch his heart break as I tell him what I have done. To him. To me. To us.

"Gainey. I...I'm sorry. It was the only way." I start and then I just can't. I just can't find the words. How do you tell someone you took away the voice for their forever to save their life?

Instead, I take a hold of his hand, keeping my eyes on his confusion covered face as I move it up to his neck, placing his pointer finger in the very place where my teeth have marked him with my shame forever.

I see the very second he realises what I have done and I feel the very moment a shadow overtakes his heart.

"Alice... what did you do. I can... feel you." He murmurs. His eyes wide and his mouth wide open, his fingers flying to his neck, tracing over the place where I bit him. Both of our hearts cracking to pieces the like the room we just escaped.

"I doomed us both to save you." I reply, knowing that things will never ever be the same.