Ellena has not uttered one single word in over twenty minutes. It's literally the longest span of time, since I have known her, that she has been quiet in my presence. If it weren't for the thick air of tension surrounding us like unforgiving smog, I would make some sort of joke.

But I can't.

The constriction the unease causes is like a snake coiling around my throat. The air is pushed from my lungs in short, uneven spurts, my heart is beating in my ear and my life literally flashes before my eyes. The life I had hoped for here in Willow, however fleeting . The serpent has sucked all of the ease from the room and from any hope I once held.

I do not regret admitting the whole truth of my presence here in Willow to Ellena. She sat silently as I explained my whole sordid tale, from the moment I left the pack until now. The truth of Rox's lineage and the extreme importance of his survival. As much as it may seem a huge risk unloading all of my dangerous tale onto her, someone I have only known for such a short space of time, I trust her. Something inside of me trusts her implicitly.

My wolf trusts her wolf. She sees her as family. As pack. And that is enough for me.

There is no mistake in the relief I feel. By unpacking my whole melodramatic truth onto Ellena, I have  unburdened myself with a fraction of the grief I carry like a second skin. Shedding a little whilst telling my tale allowed me to heal a small part of myself.

That tiny fragment I have unloaded feels so good. The ability to tell my truth to someone was so freeing. But it was so so wrong. What have I done? I am walking a little lighter but what of Ellena? All I have done is load my weight onto her ageing and already overloaded shoulders. What have I done to her? To the pack?

I can't think on that now. Not while I'm enjoying a small moment of relief. Even just that slither of healing has already given me a glimpse of what emotional freedom would feel like. A tiny gap in the smog clears enough for me to see through it,  a fleeting peak behind the curtains at a life unbridled by guilt and grief and duty. And it's magnificent. It's easy.

It's a dream.

As if she can hear my mind ticking over repeatedly, she shoots out a hand and slaps my shoulder as I sit next to her;

"Stop overthinking Alice, I can all but hear your mind ticking. Plus you are grinding your teeth and it's sending me up the wall." She grumbles and I freeze in place.

"I'm sorry. I'm just freaking out a tad." I say, sneaking a glance at her through my lashes. She still hasn't moved and I was beginning to worry she had turned catatonic.

She releases a long, heavily loaded breath before closing her eyes for an extended time. She blinks them open slowly and turns her head to face me, her worried and suddenly tired looking eyes catching a hold of mine.

"I am not angry with you Alice." She breathes out finally and I find myself expelling a breath I was not even aware I was holding.

"Ellena I..." I begin but she shakes her head, stopping another apology spilling from my lips.

"Please do not say you are sorry any more. It won't do us any good. You, Rox or the pack. I do not blame you for keeping your past to yourself. It was your burden to carry. Yours alone, however unfair that may have been for us, it was more so for you. But not anymore." As she says these last words her hands hold onto mine, holding them together in her frail but warm grasp.

"For whatever reason, the goddess above sent you to us, to me, and I intend to find out why. Whether you believe it or not, we are all bound together in your journey. Gainey and myself included. Surely you do not believe it was pure coincidence that you met your mate here, of all places and at this certain time of your life? No. There is no such thing as coincidence. Only fate. And your fate and mine are intertwined more than you can even begin to comprehend." A sense of foreboding sends tingles down my spine. I have spoken my truth but it seems Ellena has her own to share.

I let this new information sink in. Finding out two members of this pack are tied to Longridge was surprise enough, what more does she have to tell me? My mind begins to spin, wondering if anything she wants to tell me has to do with the reason the Doctor was not assisting mother's to hold onto the male pups. I can't help myself, the midwife in me wants to remedy at least this much before I need to leave. Clearing my mind and my throat, I lean into Ellena before asking;

"Since we are baring all, I need to know, is there more to the the tale of the male pups saga that I don't know?" I need to know the answer to this question. Keeping a hold of her hands, I watch  as her eyes widen slightly before she shifts her gaze away from mine.

"There is so much you do not know Alice. You think you have secrets, well, my dear one, you have nothing on the hidden workings of MiLuna." Her voice croaks out and my heart sinks. Somewhere deep down I knew it but I had hoped like hell I was just making it up.

I left one drama filled pack and fled straight into another.

For the love of the goddess, how shit is my luck?!

"Just my luck hey?" I say with a shrug and her sullen smile gives way to a small grin.

"Just both our bum luck I think." She says lowly and I just shake my head. What are the chances that I would fall head first into another pack full of turmoil?

Who am I kidding. High. Very fucking high. If danger is anywhere to be found, I seem to have its number.

Shifting in her seat, Ellena moves her hands up to my shoulders and gives me a tight squeeze before letting go and wrapping her hands around her knees in some kind of move in self preservation.

"I think we should leave this for now and make a time to sit down with Benji and Gainey, tonight. I believe it's time you knew our full story. And I think you need to tell them both yours." She all but whispers the last part and my breath catches in my throat.

I don't know for certain whether that is the right thing to do.

Ellena catches onto my panic and nods her head.

"You know I'm right dear. Whether there is a mating or not, Gainey is your destined. He needs to know the truth. And Benji deserves to also. Trust me when I say, I would lay my life on the line for each of those males and they would do the same for me. And now, I would also do the very same for you and Rox." She spears my gaze with her piercing blue eyes and I cannot look away.

Her emotional decree sends warmth flowing through my veins. This woman just heard that I could very well have brought a demon to their door but she loves us anyway.

Im in two completely opposing minds. On one hand, I'm deathly afraid that she is wrong. I'm terrified that Benji and Gainey will explode, angered about my lie, forcing me out and away from the pack.

But I'm also scarred shitless that they will do the opposite.

What if Ellena is not the only one who wants us to stay. Can I accept that? Can I let the pack walk into the possible destruction and desolation of their entire livelihood? Because of me?

Fuck. The paths are here, bared for me to treck but I don't know which way to turn. This fork in the road is an absolute headfuck. It's a head fork.

My skull begins to throb, too full of confusion and urgent decisions to be made, and I cannot face a single one.

I sink my face into my hands and fold myself over into a ball.

"When did adulting become so bloody hard." I scream though my knees.
I feel Ellena patting my back gently, caressing me as if I am a broken child.

It's not far off. What I wouldnt give for the wisdom of my mother or Em in this moment. I have no doubt that they would know what to do. Which choice to make.

Damn it. I don't want to hurt anyone and yet I feel that no matter which way I turn, which choice I make, someone will be hurt.

Myself included. My old pack included.

Perfectly on time, Rox begins to whimper and I pull myself out of my stupor and off the couch, scooping him up into my arms and holding him tight.

His scent washes over me, a mix of his parents heritage and my own. However, that combination has given way to a new, sweet scent of his own. The old smell is there but it's overpowered ever so slightly by the new, the attachment to MiLuna is there, weaving it's way through with the old, forming the new. The soft smell of the rain and snow clings to him, as well as the floral scent that wafts around Ellena.

The second I smell the combination of those elements I know what we need to do.

The memory of my old pack will always be a part of both Rox and myself but the power and belonging I feel here and now, with Gainey, Benji and Ellena is undeniable.

We were meant to be here, in one way or the other.
We are MiLuna now.
And Gainey can suck it if he has a problem with that.

As the acceptance snaps into place inside my mind, it is coupled with a sense of peace and belonging from my wolf that I have not felt in a very long time. Even, if I'm honest, while I was still at home.

I didn't really feel as if I was truly needed and wanted until I came here. It's only now that I realise what it was that drew me here.

Ellena was right.

"Fate". I say out loud, turning with Rox in my arms to face Ellena. Her smile widens as she nods slowly.

"I was wondering when you would get it." She says sweetly, standing slowly and coming to stand beside me.

"We don't choose our path my darling, we only have to have the courage to follow it." The tears that fall from her eyes match mine as they sink slowly down her weathered cheeks and follow the same trail that they chase on mine.

"Damn it. When did I become such an emotional basket case." I say, chuckling along with Ellena as we stand in the small den together.

"It's bullshit being a female." She says and we both laugh together, her body shaking with mine and Rox just going along for the ride.

She takes a steadying breath and steps slightly away, wiping her cheeks with her sleeve.

"So, tonight? I'll let Gainey and Benji know we have something important to discuss. Can you come to the pack house, say, around seven?" She asks but as always, I know it's just a polite way of her letting me know that is the plan. Regardless of my answer.

"Sounds like a blast Luna." I say over my shoulder as I'm shifting down the hallway to settle Rox for a nap.

Once I return to the den I find it empty bar the sweet lingering scent of the woman I have come to adore so much in such a small amount of time.

I take up my favourite place by the window, curling up on the arm chair with a blanket wrapped around me, tucking into the left over pastry as I ponder my future here in Willow.

It's not the way I planned it but somehow, it's ok. I let my mind drift, thoughts of my family and old pack running through my mind. Are they safe? Are they alive? Would they be proud of me?

I will never know. And I have to make peace with that if I'm going to be able to take this next step.

Emma chose me for a reason. And now I just have to prove her right. And hope to fucking hell that I don't cock it all up.

No biggie.