Before I am anywhere near ready, I find myself mindlessly in the car on the drive to the pack house. I am a bubbling bundle of nerves. If I could, I would have a stiff drink or five to calm my wicked nerves. I have changed my mind a million times, just to settle on a decision and then unsettle on it a moment later.
For a wolf of usual self assurance and sufficient training, I am a nervous freaking wreck as I make the short scenic trip to the pack lands. Rox coos to himself in the backseat and I try to let the soft, melodic sound of his developing voice wash over me. But no matter how hard I try, I can't focus on anything but the impending doom I'm heading towards.

There is only one way this meeting is going to go;

Disastrous.

I have no doubt that Gia is going to stick her big mouthed two cents in. I know exactly what she thinks of me. I'm also expecting her annoyance level to be turned up to top voltage due to the fact she is bound to find out, if she hasn't already, that I am Gainey's destined.

She is going to lose her shit for brains mind when that one slips out. How Ellena, literally the nicest wolf on the planet, raised such a sullen brat,  I have no idea. Gia' a issue will only be added to once she discovers the truth. Because this means, not only would that make me an official member of the pack, but as a Beta mate, I would technically be higher rank than Gia.

I can see her teeny little skull imploding the moment that knowledge sinks in. The image sends a tiny spark of warmth to my face at the same time that I feel a spark in my soul and I chuckle softly to myself.

I'm sick in the head.

I also make a mental note to discuss it further with. Benji if this all blows over, about just how she got this way. She is, well, a huge asshole to put it plainly.

That's a huge if it blows over. It's more likely I'm swiftly whisked out the door and off the pack lands when I drop the atomic level bomb I'm bringing tonight.

No drama. None. Just on the run, with an heir apparent, hiding from a psychological killer rogue hell bent on taking us all to hades with him.

No big deal at all.

Run of the mill really.

I take a shallow breath as the turn off for the pack lands comes into view and then try to take a deeper breath.

It's not easy. My lungs feel like they could combust at any second. I am unable to calm my breathing so I am taking short, inefficient breaths that leave me panting. I have barely eaten all day yet I could not force myself to try, feeling sick to my stomach is the norm right now. I have had so much coffee I would probably bleed caffeine if I cut myself. I'm on the caffeinated edge.

I'm a wreck. An absolute mess. I'm everything I trained not to be. My father would be so ashamed. And to add to the physical issues I'm exhibiting, my brain and my emotional stability have been on the fritz all day just to add to my break down.

My mate appearing is playing havoc on my mind, clouding my better judgement. It should have been cut and dry, pack up and go. No doubt. No second guessing myself.

But that's not what happened.

There is so much at stake, whether I stay or leave.

Swallowing down the guilt I feel, over everything, I pull into the drive and turn off the ignition.

I sit for a good few minutes, eyes closed, willing myself to just calm the fuck down enough to settle my nerves and enter with a clear head.

I need to be able to explain, with a clear mind, the reasons why I have been hiding the real truth of who Rox and I truly are. And where we are from. I need to be able to express how important it was for me to hide. To keep him safe.

But how do I possibly explain that in a way that they would accept, knowing that the very reason I am here could be the blow the sends us all tumbling to our collective doom? Me being here might just bring the Demon to their own door.

Shit. I'm so fucked.

As I take in an extra deep breath, the front door swings wide open and Ellena appears in the dimly lit doorway, hands on her hips, a grim smile on her face.

"Are you coming in or do you plan to sit out there and worry all night hun?" She calls out, her upper body shaking a little, giving her chuckle away.

I throw both my hands on the car horn and give it a quick honk, startling her just enough to earn me a quick laugh and a grander smile.

"Get your skinny ass in here and bring that pup." She says, leaving the door open and stepping back enough for Benji to step through.

He makes his way over, heavy footprints in the damp earth on the ground, making a stop at my still closed door.

"Shall we?" He asks, slowly reaching to open my door for me, a small smile on his face but coupled with a deep frown.

I know this must weigh on his mind, secrets, long lasting issues in his pack. If only he knew how much more I was about to lump onto his capable but innocent shoulders.

He has been nothing but wonderful to me. Welcoming. Just. And here I am, about to bust his world wide open.

I stuff my emotions back down into my churning gut and allow him to open the door for me. He immediately goes for the back door, taking out Rox and his car seat like a seasoned pro whilst I gather our bag up and lock up the car behind us.

We make our way silently towards the door, treading carefully in the dampness of the dirt, finding Ellena standing just inside the entrance waiting for us.

"Come in Alice, let me take your bag and Rox. A few of the older females are here and have offered to sit with him for a while if that's ok with you? So we can have a chat in the other room." Her voice does not match her tone. She is smiling broadly but I can tell by her breathing that she is nervous.

Makes two of us. I swallow thickly and try to paint on a smile of some sort.

"Yes sure. Thanks Ellena. He will need a bottle soon, it's in the bag." I say, bending to kiss his sweet warm head, shamelessly using him as a comfort, as one of the women comes forward to take him, bending her head towards Benji, Ellena and then me as she does.

Curious.

If Benji sees my perplexed expression, he doesn't comment. Instead, we just quietly make our way down the opposite hall, Ellena leading and Benji and I following. We entering a large formal space that I had not previously seen.

A long, sleek and shiny wooden table sits in the centre, surrounded by twelve high backed chairs. As I walk around the room, I notice that each is intricately carved with a slightly different coat of arms that match the smaller carvings dotted around the table. The meeting space matches the rest of the cabin home perfectly. White walls and modern appliances, coffee machine, computer equipment and a large flat screen and projector are set up along the far wall. These are coupled with the floor to ceiling, wooden panelled windows that overlook a lake at the back of the house. All the chunky wooden furniture. The view. It's a beautiful mix of old and new.

Just like the pack.

My heart constricts at what I'm about to put on them. In the short time that I have been here, I have noticed a tiny particle of hope begin to bloom inside of me. A speck of a seed, trying to root itself somewhere safe. To be nurtured and cared for. Somewhere to grow and be useful to the pack and it's members.

A part of me even warmed at the possibility of having a mate. Belonging to someone and somewhere again. But after getting to know him a little, that part shrivelled up and died with my libido,

But an even bigger part of me, the section of my wolf that lives by the rule, responding to responsibility and nobility, knows that we should not lump this threat onto these innocent people. Not without a heck of a kick
to the conscience.

No matter how much a growing part of me may want to.

And that is why, once more, I have decided to tell them the truth. And then leave.

My jittery thoughts are interrupted as people begin to file into the room, joining Ellena and Benji at the table.
Each starts to move around the oval structure, taking seats in front of designated carvings on the wood that I now recognise to be for elder families of the pack.

Benji moves to the top of the table, the seat closest to the window and takes a stand at the Alpha place. Ellena sits to his right and beckons me to sit at a seat across from her. I make my way around, feeling every set of eyes in the room penetrating my skin but nothing they do takes my focus away from the scent that enters the room next.

I feel him enter the room as every fibre of my being alights. His close proximity makes my body hyper aware and I have to work hard to control my erratic heart rate and rapidly rising blood pressure.

I place both hands flat on the table as I take my seat, keeping my eyes lowered and concentrating on my breath as Gainey moves effortlessly around the table, greeting Benji and Ellena as he moves stealthily, before settling into the seat to my left. Next to the Alpha.

Ellena clears her throat and my eyes jump to meet hers, noticing the small hopeful smile on her face.

Cheeky bitch. She sat me here for a reason. It's the traditional Beta female seat. I remind myself to curse her out later but that thought escapes me because I catch a whiff of another person I was hoping not to see tonight.

Great.

Gia slinks into the room, ever the picture of a demure female. But I can see what she is hiding. Cunning. She slightly bows her head to the male family members and their females before stopping to greet her mother. She moves to hug Benji and then does something that strikes me as completely odd for a mated female.
Her pheromones give her away before I even notice her expression as she turns ever so slightly to flash me a sly grin.

She moves like a predator, a wolf stalking her prey. Slowly she slinks around to Gainey and deliberately places herself in front of my body, right in front of him, standing between Gainey and I.

A small huff leaves Ellena before she covers it with a cough. My eyes shoot wide open and I can tell that Benji is not pleased by her obvious disrespect.

But the question is, does she know about Gainey and I? Or is this just another hurdle I need to jump.

I focus on keeping my claws in whilst I listen into her painfully annoying voice, but it's her tone that grates on my nerves.

"I am sorry about the change in seating arrangement Beta Gainey. My gut tells me it's only temporary though, so don't fret too much. I'll be back beside you at the table where I belong, once things have gone back to normal." She oozes with false confidence and it does not impress me. So much sarcasm drips from her mouth like the river of empty bravado she shows. But I can see through her. It's all for show.

Little does she know. I eat stupid bitches like her for breakfast.

Tapping her on the shoulder, I clear my throat as she reluctantly tips her head over her shoulder, seating her ass on the arm of  Gainey's chair, pushing her pushed up chest in his face.

"Oh Gia, pardon the intrusion into what was a very interesting display of peacocking, but if you wouldn't mind moving?" I say, leaning in towards her so that my mouth edges close to her torso as I continue;

"Now if you could get your tiny excuse for tits out of my mates face, before I allow my wolf to cut you, I would appreciate it. And so would your mate." I say sweetly, a smile on my face but malice in my words. She shoots up fast, taking Gainey off his centre and almost out of his chair and catching the attention of all of the wolves around the table.

Not to mention her mate who stands at the door, a child in his arms and a small smirk on his face.
Interesting. He isn't even surprised at her antics.

" I... she... what?" She says, her mouth opening and closing like a gasping fish. Benji chooses this moment to lean across the table, his eyes wide but a slight lift of his lip cannot hide his satisfaction.

"You are excused from this meeting and any further whilst Alice is here, seeing as she is the higher ranking female. For now." He says, his eyes flicking between Gainey and myself before returning to hold Gia's shocked gaze.

She opens her mouth to respond but Ellena cuts her off, gesturing towards the door and the quiet male awaiting his mate. He walks off without her and we all watch awkwardly as Gia makes her exit, stomping her feet like a spoilt child. Her slither eyes never leave me and I try as hard as I can to stifle the smug grin trying to force its way onto my face.

She leaves with a slam and the entire company of the table jumps with the force. I have definitely made an enemy there. And no matter how tiny and insignificant she is, the people I trust the least are catty wolves females.

"My apologies." Ellena says, red faced and shaking her head. "She always was one for the flare of dramatics." She whispers, leaning towards an elderly female beside her but apologising to me with her eyes.

I dip my head. It's not her fault.

Gainey makes a slow lean towards me but Benji cuts him off by standing and placing his hands flat on the table, our sign that he is ready to begin.

I'm both grateful and disappointed and then mortified with myself. I wanted him to react to my altercation more than I thought. Instead, I got nothing. Not a look or a word.

I can't read him at all.

Benji clears his throat and brings me back to the issue at hand. The main event. Gainey is not why I am here. My nerves return with force and I swallow my spit again and again, my mouth suddenly parched.

Benji begins by knocking his hand on the table twice and looking up, making eye contact with every member of the group.

"My brothers and sisters, we are all here tonight to discuss a great threat that is unfortunately heading our way. As you all know, Gainey has been travelling a great deal these last few months, tracking the problem and trying to gauge the next moves. What we don't know is much. But what we do know is that he is coming. Just like we all knew he would." He says sombrely and my heart is breaking. The low murmurs around the table mimics my sadness and I can't help but feel sick that I brought this upon them.

I try to get Benji's attention, to get permission to speak but he ignores me. Lifting his hand, he asks for quiet so he can continue.

Looking at me he says;

"Alice, there is much to say but for now, let me just say I am truly sorry that you have to hear this."

My brows furrow at his words. Has Ellena told him already? Is he about to kick me out? What is even happening. The tension in the room is palpable but it's nothing compared to the storm inside of me, threatening to overthrow my nervous system.

As if sensing that I am about to explode, he nods at me and continues;

"Elders of the MiLuna. What do we do about the Demon? We all knew when I took on this posting that it would put us on his radar. And when Gainey became beta, well, that all but signed our death warrants. I ask you now, is it time we stop all of this, once and for all?" He says gallantly, staring into the eyes of the elders surrounding me. But I can't hear what they are saying.

I'm too shocked. I'm in shock maybe. My heart is a drum beating straight into my head. The rush of blood through my veins is a blur.

I'm about to erupt.

What the actual hell is happening?

I stand with such a force that the chair behind me goes flying backwards and to the floor.

Gainey's eyes snap to mine but I can't move anything. I feel his gaze searching for mine but I cannot move my eyes, they are peeled to the every move of the Alpha as he makes his way slowly around the table towards me. Carefully. Like I am the threat.

And at this very moment, I am.

"Alice, please, hear us out first." He implores but I have no patience left.

"What is this Alpha? What the fuck have I stepped into? I asked you about the Demon when I first arrived and you said nothing. But your little speech just now proves that was a lie. It was all a big fucking lie. Tell me now, before I pack my pup up and leave. What is going on? Who are you?" I scream. I am seething. My body is still  but my wolf is anything but. She wants out. She wants retribution.

Gainey stands to step beside Benji and they share a look before facing both of their gazes on me. Ellena comes to stand beside me, her hand on my arm.

But it's Gainey that breaks the overly tense silence.

"The Demon is our half brother. I share a father with him, Benji shares a mother. He was always coming for us. This has nothing to do with you." He says flatly, no emotion in his voice.

My heart stops. It completely halts. Broken by the way he just spat that out. And the force of the silent lie I have heard since arriving in MiLuna.

"Nothing to do with me? Really? Fuck you it doesn't! He killed my entire pack! My family. My Alpha! He took my Luna! And they all left me alone with a baby! How dare you say this to me. How dare you. It's a good thing I was never invested in having a mate, because I wouldn't stoop so low as to have one in this pack full of liars." I say, not looking at any of their faces as I shove away and make for the door. The betrayal I feel is about to rip me apart at the seams.

They do not get to see me break.

Ellena's soft voice travels with me as I make my way stumbling towards the hallway and it's only then that I am able to think;

"Don't you want to know why Alice?" She says so softly and I freeze. At her pleading tone. And at the chance to uncover it all.

Because I do. I want to know it all. Starting with what the fuck I am supposed to do now, I'm essentially a fly caught in a huge fuck off web of lies.

Just my luck.