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God damn it. Get a hold of yourself.

In her room, Melanie had jump onto her bed, burying her face into her pillow and she was upset for two reasons. First, she felt, for some unknown reasons that those words Paul said were so unfair and hurtful and secondly, she was upset with herself, because she allowed a boy she barely knew to get her so upset with mere words. She bit her lower lip punishingly, clenched her fist with a part of her duvet strangled within it and squirmed. It did not make sense that she cared so much, what Paul thought of her.

Is something wrong with you? You just met these boy's today.

A voice taunted her in her head and she felt herself split into two persons: The Person caged within her that want to cry, to feel, to hope, to live, to fall in love. And that stronger independent Person in her that stood tall and wore a constant sneer; the same one that yelled down at her with equanimity to shut the hell up and get a hold of herself.

Her caged self had cried out and shook the bars of her cage to be let out, to be allowed to go to Paul, pull him forcefully, look at him with frantic eyes and say; "look at me. Tell me. Answer me. Why won't you want to have me?"

And it was at that moment that the other Person she was, gave her an answer that was, without doubt, true; a one word answer that made complete sense . . . an answer that clogged her emotions immediately. The answer was just a name.

ASHLEY.

It all made complete sense now. A montage began in her thought. She remembered Ashley's hair that she flaunted, twirling it around her finger; her charming, unhinged self, her flirty stare, her neatly made up face and charms. She was one of the most gorgeous persons Melanie had ever seen, and when she compared her scarred body and mind, her short unmated hair and character, she did not blame Paul for drooling all over Ashley and rejecting her.

Besides, Ashley only promised fun moments, while her, Melanie, -after what they had gone through during the day because of her- had only promised and delivered chaos. That was what she had brought into Paul and Jake's life, and there was no doubt that they were second guessing their newly formed friendship.

She swallowed and accepted the fact that whatsoever she had imagined to be between her and Paul was nothing but her mistake, spurred from her thirst for drama and adrenaline; A mere desire to find some excitement and pull it into her colorless life. A mere hope to escape that toddler that was her past that whined and tugged at her shirt.

She heaved a deep sigh, and with the escape of breath from her lungs, she let go of every feeling she had. Just like that, peace returned to her and she shut her eyes to sleep.

It was all alright.

~•~ ~•~ ~•~

It was 3:00am that night and something happened differently. She had woken up in the night by freezing cold to discover the strangest thing. Her windows had been pushed fully open and the cold night breeze had moved in and out freely, pushing her thick blue drapes to flap and dance to the rhythm played by the flow. It did not make sense.

Moonlight rays beamed into her room from the night sky but did not illuminate her room well enough to lift the heavy tangible darkness.

Someone must have been in my room. Melanie thought as her heartbeat began to race in fearful thoughts. She spun quickly for her table lamp, groping the top of the drawer next to her bed, until she touched the rubber skin of the lamp's sleek wire. That was when she held the plug and chills ran down her spine at the realization that someone had unplug and taken away her lamp.

"Oh God." She whispered at the realization that this is not a mere thing and then her breathing became so fast and loud that anyone could literary hear her fear. Slowly, she slipped off her bed and putting her hands into the darkness in front of her, she walked slowly, cautiously and scared out of her mind.

Her room's floor board bent under her weight and groaned like a woman muffling a painful child delivery cry of pain. The floor board always did that, but tonight it sounded more ominous, and painted a terrible gory image into Melanie's mind, but she bit her lower lip and charged on into the darkness. She reached her wall, groped and found her light switch, but when she flipped it, the light didn't come on. Melanie's hand froze at the click of the switch and "oh crap!" escaped her mouth with panicky breaths. Her fear intensified, and she did not know what else to do, so she began to toggle the switch on and off, hoping that at one point it could click one time and light would come on . . . even if just for a second, so she can catch a glimpse of what surrounded her or what didn't.

"Mom?" She called and her voice was hoarse from the fear that spurred it. "Paul . . . ? Jake?" She listened, and only stark silence answered her.

She moved, sliding by the wall to her door and that was when she touched where her door knob was supposed to be, but instead, there was nothing. From the feel of the space that replaced her door knob and the areas of the door that poked out splinters, she imagined that someone had broken her door by punching something heavy through the knob side. It did not make sense. How could she have possibly slept through that?

It's not possible. This must be a prank. Was what Melanie was thinking when she heard her room floor click. She froze and her bones became cold. Her limbs began to shake in fear at the recognition of the creak groan sound her floor board made. It was somewhere in her room, just right behind her.

"Oh God." Melanie whispered and swallowed, as suddenly she felt the ominous presence of someone else that had been in her room with her all along. Slowly, she spun to the direction of the creaking floor and hoped someone friendly would put on the light and shout "surprise" or whatever, but it didn't happen that way.

First, she saw no one, but as her eyes strained and adjusted into the darkness, she saw a short figure at that spot, but then it moved and Melanie realized that this was a full grown gigantic man that was crouching to avoid being easily seen. Slowly, the figure straightened and formed a towering god-like phantom-like but tangible frame. At that moment, one person came to mind.

Joe! He had promised to visit, hadn't he?

Goose bumps rushed across and covered Melanie's skin and before she could let out the breath that had clumped in her throat, afraid to come out; the big frame reached out and swiftly grabbed her by the neck. Melanie grabbed the figure's big arm with the both of hers, attempting to pry off his iron fingers off her neck, but it was no use. The figure was too strong and for some reasons, Melanie could not remember any of the self defense skills she had mastered and prepared for this sort of situation.

She hated this. She hated herself. She hated how miserable her life has been as her mind suffocated from the choking grip, she threw weak punches at the hand that grasped her neck. She felt life going out of her and slowly she found herself drowning in her helplessness. She found herself giving up and she knew this was it.

A tear dropped from her eyes and with it, she dropped her fight. This was goodbye, she thought and simply shut her eyes, until . . . She leaped up from her bed and it was all a dream.

She had been in her bed all along, and her windows were shut tight. Instead of cold, she sweated from heat and perspired heavily. Her heart thumped fast and her mouth flew open to let in much air as if she was truly being choked.

Her eyes were frantic. She panted, spun to and reached her table lamp. She switched it on and the light came, illuminating the room and also blinding her for a second. She squinted and recoiled, and then all at once, it all came back to her; the nightmare.

Remembering that last moment when she had dropped a tear and her fight, she broke into real tears and began to cry. Her face contorted for a soul pouring convulsive cry, but she shut her mouth tightly with both of her palms, muffling her cries and pain.

Tears poured and slowly, she slipped down from her bed and flopped on the cold hard floor. There, she laid, curled into herself to cry all night, never to stop.

Her nightmares were far from over and she was sure of that.

~•~ ~•~ ~•~

Melanie's home had that couch that could fold out into a mattress. Paul had only seen those before in Hollywood movies he watched and for some reasons, he had found them more ridiculous than innovative and weirdly funny. But he was not laughing when he went to bed that night because his mind fought a conflict that was stirred by the new found connection he had with Melanie and the thing that had transpired between them. He felt terribly guilty and wished he had the power to do things differently, but unfortunately, he didn't.

This is best. He had thought as be arranged himself and tossed on the rolled out mattress he shared with Jake. It's best this way.

-

Very early, the following morning, he had woken up to the call of nature. He needed to urinate. More than anything, he needed to ease himself at that moment.

His eyes shot open and were frantic. It took him some impatient moment to remember where he was and which way led to the corridor and subsequently to the bathroom. He leaped off the mattress and his feet tingled from being chilled by exposure. For a moment, Paul was distracted by Jake's snoring. He sneered and found it quite odd that someone as young and fit as Jake snored that loudly. He shrugged the thought off and immediately, again, he remembered the call of nature, and this time, mother nature was beginning to yell.

He clenched his fists and closed the space between his thighs as if that could hold the hot liquid in. He groped for and found Jake's phone, to use for light, but then it was off, from dead battery.

He cursed and threw down the phone. There was no time; he better moved or make the most embarrassing story of his life. He shut his eyes, studied the mental picture he had of the apartment till he found his bearing and began to walk briskly but awkwardly.

He managed to get to the corridor without tripping and he was happy, so he moved faster, heading directly to the most important destination in his life. He held his pained abdomen when he passed Junior's room. His door had been wide open and, with the help of a green-blue night light, Paul got a glimpse of how haphazardly he slept.

Junior's head was where his feet should have been. One of his feet was hanging off the edge of the bed and his pillows were on the floor. Uninterested, Paul had blown past him quickly, but then the next door captured his attention.

The next door led into Melanie's room and her bright lamp light was on, illuminating the whole room and even a small fraction of the corridor. This caught Paul's attention and he could not help but stop, mid-step.

At that moment, he really did not hear mother nature any more, no matter how loudly she yelled. He was captivated with concern and curiosity and his heartbeat adjusted to sync his new thoughts of curiosity. Melanie's door was just slightly open and he could not help but be drawn to it. He tiptoed, got to that door, pushed it a little and peeked in.

There, on the floor, next to her bed, he found Melanie sitting, and was lost deep into the music or whatever that played into her ear from the red and white headphones that straddled her head. Her head was leaned back, resting on her bed and her eyes focused on the roof of her room, but she was not looking at anything. Her eye balls were bulged, red, tired and teary. He watched a tear trail down from her eyes, down across her cheek and unto her shoulder and he did not like that tear. In his eyes, her tears were like a deep red wine stain on a snowy-white dress and for some reasons, he felt the need to reach out and wipe them, to be that launderer to wash off that stain. He watched her for a moment longer and knew that Melanie fought a battle more intense than he could fathom. He wished he could...

His thought was cut when suddenly, Melanie's head turned and her eyes met his. His heart skipped and at seeing Melanie's frown and furrowed brows, he realized how creepy it was that he was at her door at such time, just . . . staring at her.

His eyes flew open and he began to choke on his own breath as Melanie leaped up and began to walk towards him with a frown. He had to give an excuse, to explain his behavior, but nothing good came to his mind, so he just stood there with his mouth opened to form an 'O'.

Melanie just came to him, stared at him for a second, then slammed the door to his face. Paul was taken aback by that move and for a moment, he stood there and contemplated how messed up this was.

He stood there, facing that white plain door, until he heard mother nature yell one more time and he was jolted out of his reverie. Sparing no millisecond, he blew into the bathroom and there, as he went about mother nature's bidding, he felt the best feeling ever; peace, euphoria and pure undiluted satisfaction.

...

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