Hi all,

Sorry it has taken me so long to update but I had to get this just right. Please feed my addiction for comments. I love hearing what everyone thinks of the way this story has twisted and turned.

Gypsy

~~~~~~~

Rosy:

I cup my hands beneath the flow from the tap to catch water to splash on my face. I use both hands to gently wash my face and wipe away most of the water before slowly lowering my hands to look at my face in the mirror above the sink. The damage to the left side of my face distorts my features, the way my fringe no longer falls forward in quite the same recent way over my face combines to momentarily disarm me.

"Who are you?" I whisper to my reflection. "What did you do with Rosy?"

My haunted eyes stare back at me and my stomach roils uneasily. The memory of John's execution runs through my mind, of my own part in it and I feel the burn of bile as it rises in my throat. I find myself crouching down and clinging to the sink as my stomach violently empties itself of what little food I had managed to eat for tea. I sob softly as I rest my forehead on my folded arms.

I am finding it hard to live with the actions I have taken even though I know I would make exactly the same decisions if I had to face the same situation again. Choosing to execute a werecat turned rouge was not a decision that rested easily on my conscious. The fact that I had chosen to carry out the act not order someone else to take a life did not make it any easier.

The small of my back hurts and I become aware of the slight tightening around my stomach, I press one hand to my side to feel the muscles there as I squat in front of the sink, my forehead resting against the cool enamel. After a few moments I get to my feet stiffly, my entire body feels lethargic and I brace myself to walk to the room I have been using.

"Where's Kia?" I ask Steven who is standing just inside the bedroom door.

"She's outside by herself," Steven says as he gives me a slight smile. I attempt to smile back but my face and composure crumples and I find myself wiping away tears.

"Hey," Steven murmurs soothingly as he wraps his arms around me.

"Can you go get her please?" I ask after a few moments of him rubbing my back soothingly.

"Where will you be? In with Terry?" Steven asks as he steps to the doorway.

"I'll be here laying down," I say and bite my bottom lip. Steven glances at the bed then back at my stomach where one of my hands rubs soothing circles.

"I'll make sure she comes," Steven announces before leaving the room at a brisk walk.

I make myself comfortable on the bed, earlier I had been laying down at Kia's insistence before my trip to the bathroom because of the infrequent back pain and Braxton Hicks. I am not surprised when Doc comes into the room carrying his small bag, I find it hard to return his smile as he comes to the side of the bed.

"What's happening?" Doc asks quietly.

"Not much, nothing I hope," I say softly and bite my bottom lip uneasily.

"Let's have a look shall we," he murmurs quietly and produces a thermometer he gets me to slip under my tongue.

By the time Kia comes to the room Doc has done a complete examination and is sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand resting against the side of my stomach to feel for any muscle tightening.

"Seems to be infrequent Braxton Hicks," Doc tells Kia as she takes in his presence with a worried frown.

"You have change? Cat do eat?" Kia asks as she turns her full attention to me.

"No, not yet," I admit as I close my eyes and lean my head back against the pillows. No one says anything and I open my eyes after a minute or so to find Kia watching me intently.

"She's angry," I admit. I close my eyes as I arch my neck back and turn my head from side to side as I try to stretch the tension from my neck muscles.

"I don't think she will want to let me back in control," I admit in a whisper.

"You need she ... both need her change," Kia says with a huff. "Her see cubs protect cubs."

"I believe Kia is correct Rosy," Doc says. I open my eyes to frown at him in disapproval but he continues talking.

"Your inner cat needs to be sure her cubs are safe. Once she is satisfied they are safe she should settle down and let you be in control and in human form without a fuss,"

"Micah needs to be told," Steven says firmly from the doorway.

"Yeah I know," I admit with a tired sigh. "But ... yes let him know. He is their father after all," My hurt and anger is still fresh at his betrayal but if I am honest with myself I know the problems between us had a lot to do with what had transpired.

It is dark and the creatures of the night are wide-awake when I step off the veranda and down the front steps as Micah drives up the driveway towards the Homestead. I let the dressing gown fall from my shoulders and welcome the burn of my change as I fall to my knees. When I finally stretch the last tingles of my change from my muscles and step forward Micah is standing beside his vehicle to greet me. His fingers scratch the top of my head, caress behind my ears before he steps forward and runs his hand down the length of my spine to the very tip of my tail.

I wait patiently while Micah strips and falls to his hands and knees as his change begins. I turn my head and curl my top lip as Steven and Malcolm come from the Homestead in cat form, I growl at them to keep their distance from Micah while he is vulnerable. I tolerate Micah's greeting in cat form but my cat is angry with him as well and I am quick to move off after the briefest of greetings.

I glide into the shadows as I circle the Homestead making sure the building is secure before I begin to scout the shadows surrounding the out buildings and nearby trees. I am aware of Micah shadowing me closely while the other two follow a few metres off our outside flank. I keep widening the sweep until I move through the buildings where the toms live, they stand still as my cat carefully sniffs them over. As I exit the building I am aware of the two figures that move in the shadows and I lift my head with a silent snarl as I watch the solid black cat move off the patterned form below.

Kia stands as I mince sideways towards her, my upper lip is curled back in a silent snarl exposing my canines while my ears are pressed hard against my skull. I lash my tail from side to side angrily as I eye this female who is so close to the den that contains my injured cub. Kia lowers her head and averts her face slightly as she makes soft appeasing noises. I snort but turn my attention to Mikkarl who extends his nose with a placating sound, I hiss at my former admirer before glancing at Micah. He moves up level with my front shoulder, rubs his head against my neck and leads off towards the field where we can always find rabbits.

One day becomes two, then three and a fourth. I know Micah is ringing Chris each morning for updates on the condition of our injured, but so far Micah and I have not spoken in human form. Each evening after dark he arrives and my cat is always eager to go hunting, taking control and coming forth pushing my human side back. Micah doesn't say anything as he runs a hand from my ears to the tip of my tail before he too

changes to his cat form. When we have hunted, eaten and returned to the Homestead a heavy silence fills the air when we are both back in human form. I find it hard to meet his eyes when he glances my way and Micah seems in no hurry to mend the rift that is growing night by night. I know he speaks to Malcolm each day, I know there are other things going on for Micah as well but under my hurt there is a growing desperation. I had not been ready to talk with Micah the night he came to make sure I was okay and I am not sure I am ready to speak with him four days later but the rift that has developed between us feels as if it is splitting my chest in half.

A fourth night, a fourth hunt and once again Micah looks away as I summon the courage to look his way. I can only watch in dismay as Micah averts his gaze dropping it towards the ground as he turns away, his shoulders hunched slightly as he takes a step towards his clothes by his vehicle. Something tears loose in my chest and I swallow a sob of pain as I take a step towards him.

"Why don't you man-up, grow a set and tell me to my face you can't stand the sight of me anymore!" I hurl the words. "Do you truly think you are the only one who despises what I done!"

Micah is motionless for a few moments before he lifts his head but doesn't turn to face me.

"It's not the sight of you I can't stand," Micah says in a strained voice. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that rogue. I should have been here to protect our boys, protect Sasha and Lilly. I know I let you down, let everyone down ... do you honestly think I blame you for despising me?"

"Do you honestly think you being here would have changed how everything turned out?" I yell as images of Micah going up against that strange monster by himself flash through my mind. Pitting himself against the larger stronger foe in an effort to protect everyone else.

In that instant my inner cat pushes against my mind and her knowledge fills me with certainty.

We would have lost our Micah cat

"What makes you think you were needed ..." My voice trails off as Micah turns to face me, hurt pride blazing in his eyes.

"That's it isn't it," Micah hits back at me. "You've never needed me! You yourself were always all you ever needed! Or you'd just run off to your damned precious mountain to get whatever ...even before that vehicle hit you I was always second best to that mountain! I was never good enough for you."

I turn away as I run my hands through my hair, memories crowd my mind, some are from before the head injury, some from after. Tears run down my cheeks, I finally understand the pain and damage I have caused this tom. Memories of all the times I had run from him needing distance to balance myself when what I had really needed was for him to catch me and hold me until I broke back together. Slowly I turn back towards him and raise my face regardless of the tears running down my cheeks.

"If you hadn't been there what would have happened to Kali?" I pause for a moment as I utter my daughters name for the first time. "You were where you needed to be. I was where I needed to be. Now tell me to my face you don't want me anymore so I can get on with my life,"

"I don't want you anymore? Hell it's you who is so disgusted with me that you can't stand to look at me!" Micah yells at me.

I begin to laugh at the absurdity of his words but my laughter almost instantly turns into sobs and tears. I cover my face with both hands as my tears over take me. Unable

to stop crying I slowly collapse to sit on the ground crying. I wrap my arms around my knees and rock myself back and forth as I fight to stop myself crying.

"And I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror ... I don't recognise myself ... this cat that ripped another cat apart ... I couldn't stand it if I ... saw that same condemnation in your eyes ... when you look at me." I tell him between teeth that have started to chatter with reaction. "You couldn't even tell ... me you moved on ... before you ... slept with her ..."

I become aware of the fact Micah has come to stand just a few steps away from me, I glance at his bare feet and the stray thought of how ridiculous we must look, both totally naked, enters my mind.

"I hadn't moved on," Micah says between clenched teeth. "With her I didn't have to prove anything, didn't have to be the perfect whatever ... I didn't have to be anything but me."

"I NEVER WANTED PERFECT!" I yell at him and scramble to my feet. " I NEVER WANTED PERFECT! Everyone tells me I was headed this way when Justin found me because my Mountain was calling me! WELL THEY WERE WRONG!"

I turn and walk several steps away before turning around to glare at Micah through my tears.

"When you stepped in front of me in that hallway and I looked into your eyes ... I can remember all the times I would wake up when I was with Drew and I'd be driven to go searching for something I couldn't remember from my dreams ... barely able to walk ... walking in the rain in the night ..." I take a deep breath, " I saw your eyes and I knew! I WAS SEARCHING FOR YOU!"

Micah looks bewildered as he shakes his head, one hand pushing his fringe back in the way that is so familiar to me.

"You didn't recognise me," he says whisper quiet.

"I didn't need to," I say and glance away. "Not then, not now, not ever. I have been waiting, wanting, expecting, to fall in love with you. Surely if we had been so much in love ... I thought I'd fall in love with you again. I was expecting to feel this wonderful feeling ..." I pause to give him a wobbly smile.

"Even getting my head shattered by a vehicle didn't take our love from me, it was just hiding in the dark corners for when I needed it most," I tell him and bite my bottom lip as I chance a glance away from him. I close my eyes as I feel a fingertip trace a line down one of my arms from my shoulder to my elbow.

"I ... I ... I don't know what to say," Micah whispers as he traces his finger up and down my arm.

"Can you just hold me?" I ask quietly. "I don't know how much longer I can be strong,"

A choked sound comes from Micah and then I am wrapped in his arms and held against his warm body. As I snuggle close and wrap my arms around him I know we still have so much to talk out between us, so much damage we have done to each other to discuss but for the moment I content myself with the strength and warmth of his embrace.

"We have a lot to work out," Micah manages when he finally turns us and walks us towards the veranda.