July 8th, 2024

I can't stop thinking about you
You were such a big part of my life
For so long
So long
In my head, at least
It felt like decades
When it was only two years

You left before me
You came after me
Everyone hated you
But no, not me
I loved you

I saw underneath
The annoying guy everyone else saw
I saw you how God sees you
Handsome, sweet
Kind, caring
Perfect

I wrote you a song
I showed it to you
It was stupid
But I was proud
At least I was then
Then you left

I wrote you another song
One year later
I haven't showed it to you
It wasn't quite so stupid
It was better
It was honest
It was genuine
It was...hard for me
It was my confession
Then you told me
Told me that you're going to come back

I wrote a third song
A few weeks ago
I haven't showed it to you
It isn't quite so stupid
It's honest
It's well worded
It's true
It's another confession
It's probably better than you deserve
But I can't let you go
No, not yet
I can't stop thinking about you
That's why I wrote this

I wrote this, the fourth song
Just now
It's stupid
It doesn't rhyme
It's not in proper form
But it's honest
It's heartfelt
It's my final confession
It's my broken plea to you

I love someone else now
But part of my heart
Can't forget you yet
No, not yet

Because I miss you
My best friend
My buddy
My crush
My love
My everything

At least, you were
Who knows
How it will be when you come back?
Will it be awkward?
Will it be like old times?
Will it be better?
Will it be everything I'm hoping?
Or will it be what I think it will be?

Because I think
Think that you'll brush me aside
Find another girl
To keep you happy
For a few months
But I haven't let go of you
No, not yet
I need to cling to you
For just a little bit longer

Just until
I see what everyone else sees
The player
The jock
The bully
The jerk

But right now
That's not what I see
I see a boy
The boy of my dreams
Handsome
Sweet
Kind
Caring
Perfect