-• regret •-

I don't deny nor defend myself.

Vivaan shakes his head and turns to leave.

"Bhai!" I get up from the bed, regret surfacing from deep within.

He faces me again, disappointment in his eyes. "I won't put this past Yuvaan, but you Tara? I didn't expect this from you. I understand you are angry at him, you both don't like each other, but this is not how it should go, Tara. Dad stood up for you, because he believes in your kindness. And this? This is what you do? It's not a prank anymore if it costs the other person their dreams, their ambitions. How would you feel if you were in his place?"

"Horrible." I admit. "Horrible." I meet his eyes, not bothering to wipe the tears in my eyes. "But I swear I had no idea. All Yuvaan told me was that he won't be able to play an important game of the year and-"

"And that wasn't enough to stop you?"

I bite my lower lip in regret. "It should have been. I shouldn't have involved myself in this. I'm sorry."

"What did Yuvaan promise you in return?" He asks in a straightforward manner.

"The reward," I answer meekly. "He will help me win the reward. I wanted to help Tarun. He was punished because of me and I felt so guilty."

"Good for you." Vivaan mumbles.

"Bhai, even if I had said no, Yuvaan Bhai was determined to reveal it to-"

"You're right." He nods at me. "Because that's expected of him. He's capable of pulling these cheap tricks. You're not."

I open my mouth to try and justify my actions when Yuvaan steps into the line of my sight, looking at Vivaan with hurt.

"Seriously, Bhai?"

Vivaan sighs and steps aside, looking at the other man in disapproval. "Don't even try to defend yourself. I warned you. I told you not to do this."

"And what about him? He broke my art piece hours before the curators from the museum came for personal inspection! I lost the chance, Bhai! I lost an opportunity to have my art displayed at one of the most prestigious museums of the world! All because of him!" Yuvaan heaves harshly.

"He didn't do it intentionally." Vivaan shakes his head.

"As if you'd know," Yuvaan snorts.

"I do. Because that night, he came to me, and cried for hours long. Because he regretted it so bad."

"Why didn't he come to me then!?" Yuvaan snaps aggressively.

"Because you punched him and told him not to show his face to you for the rest of the day. You wanted to be alone. You weren't ready to hear his side!"

Yuvaan shakes his head, refusing to believe the words. "If if he had shown me his regret that evening, there was a probability I wouldn't have gone this far. But since he didn't, that's on him. You can't expect people to understand your inner emotions when you act like a fucking douche on the outside. He brought this on himself. I don't give a fuck!"

"Do you really not?" Vivaan countered.

Yuvaan hesitated. "Yes," and left.

Vivaan looked over at me. "Don't confess anything to Agastya. He might end up hating you forever." He sighs and leaves quietly.

I sit back down on the bed, clutching my head in my hands. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. Janet was right. I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have involved myself in these petty brotherly feuds. Agastya was beginning to warm up to me, yes, he is still aggravating and entitled, but he didn't hate me. Now, he has a chance, and a reason to hate me. Forever.

And in the end, it all came down to nothing. It was for nothing.

Maybe I can still help Tarun?

His mother wants him gone to the boarding school, not him. He wants to stay here.

I sit straight thoughtfully, contemplating between both the rights. As a friend, I should really prioritise Tarun's feelings. So what if his mother wants the opposite? What matters is what he wants. And it's clear what he wants. Even if it is for the girl he is infatuated with in the school. If I help him, his mother will only be disappointed in me, but if I don't, he'll hate me. Do I really want that after the mess I've landed myself in just to help him?

I get up from the bed and walk up to the window. A wistful smile appears on my lips at the sight of the river. I was really happy then. If only I had listened to him and not involved myself with him so much maybe I wouldn't have need to do everything that I did.

It's been only a week that I'm here and I've only landed myself in troubles after troubles.

I shake my head.

I can't go back on my promise now. I promised Tarun I'll help him and that's what I'll do. If his mother has any problem with his personal life, she will discuss it with him. That's none of my business.

"Tara," Ayush's voice snaps me out of the thoughts. I turn my head over my shoulder, the guilt in my conscience mirroring on his face. "We made a mistake, right?"

I sigh and look back outside the window.

"Maybe Yuvaan Bhai really didn't know-"

"You're a nice guy, Ayush," I mumble, cutting him off. "You always defend them. Whether it is Agastya, Yuvaan or any other brother. But not now, please. We're all at fault, let's just own it."

I hear him let out a long breath. "You're right. I'm sorry." He murmurs. I hear his footsteps retreat and the door gently falls close with his departure.

I stay by the window-side, staring out at the view, lost in my thoughts. They don't end. Like a vicious cycle, probabilities and possibilities endlessly torment me.

What if I had said no to Yuvaan?

What if I hadn't forced Tarun to become my friend?

What if I hadn't let my anger make the decision?

What if I had talked to Janet before giving Yuvaan my answer?

Did I really just cost someone their dreams, their whole fucking career because we didn't start off on right foot? That's not me. God, if Mom was alive today, she would have been so disappointed in me.

She always used to say,

Dreams are hopes, and hope is what keeps us alive.

I should come clean to Agastya. I should tell him everything. Whatever punishment he wants to give me, I'll take it. If he wants to hate me for the rest of his life, then so be it. But I'm not so fake to crush someone's dreams and then pretend to be heartbroken with them. I am sad for him, but I don't have any right to feel that way.

I leave my room and walk down the opposite corridor, locating Agastya's room at the far right. I put my hand up to knock when the door slightly opens itself because of the air outside. The slit reveals Agastya on the right side of the bed, his head rested on top of his bat and I see his shoulders shake badly.

He's crying.

My fingers curl into themselves and hand drops to my side in defeat.

He clutches the bat to his chest and sobs harder.

My courage slips and I leave quietly.

For the rest of the day, none of us comes out of our rooms. The palace feels a lot quieter. Usually, I would always hear Agastya and Arush laugh and scream around, Ayush shouting at them to keep silence because he can't read his book and Perry's loud barks. But the two floors that make the most noise are the most quiet today. We don't even go for the classes, neither do we bake.

During dinner, I almost scoff at how heartless Yuvraaj is when he asks what we baked today.

"Nothing." I answer.

"And why is that?" He interlaces his hands on the table, the dark onyx eyes looming over me like the moonless sky.

"Because none of us was in the right headspace." I tell him curtly.

"I don't think -"

"Dad, I'm anxious because of tomorrow's event. Agastya is not in the mood either. Mind if I fill up today's gap next week?" I focus on my father.

He startles when I ask him for the permission.

"Uhm," he looks at Yuvraaj nervously.

"You're my legal guardian. I'll do as you say." I state firmly.

Everyone looks at me in surprise.

Dad swallows thickly and forces himself to nod. "Yeah, I understand. After today's events, it must have been hard. Take a break."

"Thank you," I continue my dinner.

The head chair screeches back with force and Yuvraaj storms out of the dining hall.

"Tara!" Vivaan calls out in panic. "What are you doing?"

"He's heartless!" I glare back. "I've had enough."

"Tara, his word goes. Always." Yuvaan looks at me sternly. "If you disrespect him like this, it'll be harder for you."

I inhale a deep breath. "He compelled me. I can only take so much. What did he expect from me? That I drag Agastya out of his room when we all know he wants to be alone?" I ask in disbelief. "He didn't even come down to eat and Bhai expects him to come down for a stupid punishment!?" I shake my head. "He needs to know not everything goes way. We're not robots." I push away my plate and leave the dining hall.

I don't come out for the rest of the evening and I'm relieved nobody comes to put some sense into my head either.

The next morning, before I even have a chance to wake up properly, maids and designers flood my room. I try the dress, they do the required alterations. Then Mrs. Dodiya makes me practice wearing the dress, which let me tell you, feels like I'm moving with tons of bricks shoved on my chest.

This time Dad, Yuvraaj and Vivaan joins us in the Great Hall. Agastya doesn't come down, even when Yuvraaj personally sends someone to get him. Well, there's just not me who can't stand this man. To fill his absence, Yuvaan takes his place and Vivaan stands on my right.

It feels off.

Everything feels off.

I'm not used to walking around with Vivaan. He doesn't crack stupid jokes in my ear to make me laugh so I get scolded by Mrs. Dodiya, he doesn't step his foot in between to trip me, he doesn't try to tickle me so I break my posture, neither does he make insulting or ridiculous comments on my actions.

"Princess, smile," Mrs. Dodiya requests me softly. "You've to glow like a young bloom. Pretend the hall is filled with people and smile gracefully at them," she encourages.

I force my lips upward.

She sighs but doesn't make a comment on the clownery I make of myself.

"Tara-" Vivaan starts.

I remove my arms from theirs and break away. Yuvraaj glances at me in the middle of his phone conversation, his hard eyes daring me to pull another stunt.

"I'll be back," I lift my skirt and stride out of the great hall. Juyi, the maid assigned to take me to and fro for the classes follows me in a jiffy, her panic filled voice requesting me to stop.

I don't.

"Juyi, stop following me! I'm not eloping with someone!" I glance at her over my shoulder, my open hair making it harder for me to move my head. In all that mess, I forget to look out for myself and end up slamming into a hard body.

"Woah," a voice whispers in my right ear and a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around my bare waist to steady me.

"Prince Shourya!" Juyi quickly bows.

I look up once I balance myself, my hands on the man's chest.

"Careful, Princess," he smirks down at me, his eyes quickly drawn to my cleavage.

I twist my nose in disgust and yank myself off him. "Fuck off, pervert!" I step away and continue past him.

Just as I take the first stair, I spot Agastya coming down. "Agastya," I call out softly.

He looks up and then his eyes move to the side, falling on the boy who stands in his place staring at us. Agastya quickly comes down the stairs and pulls me to his side.

"Shourya, what are you doing here?"

"A guest," the boy, or Shourya as his name is, grins lopsidedly. "I'm a guest, Agastya. So is my family. I just came down to have some fun when fun came walking right into my arms." He points at me through his light brown eyes.

I grimace.

"Get the fuck out. And don't you dare come close to my sister." Agastya spits out.

"Hmm, sure. We'll see how long it lasts." He smirks. "See you around, princess," he winks at me and walks away, his eyes lingering on Juyi's body as he disappears from our sight. Juyi bows respectfully but steps aside immediately.

"What are you doing here?" Agastya looks down at me.

"I was coming to you." I meet his eyes.

His face softens. "Did he do something?"

I shake my head.

"Stay away from that kid. He's just sixteen but sick in the head."

"Who's he?" I frown.

"Shourya Singh Rajawat. The only heir of Rajawat Estate. His father, Virendra Pratap, is just like him. Fucking perverts." Agastya shakes his head. "C'mon, now,"

"To the great hall?" I ask hopefully.

"No, to the kitchen. I'm hungry." He makes a move to walk past me.

"Agastya," I follow him like a clingy pet. "Are you not coming to the party tonight?"

"No."

"He doesn't care, you know that?" I deadpan.

Agastya stops abruptly. "I do." A slow nod.

"Good." I mumble. "Come if you change your mind. You sworn to ruin my chances at the reward, remember?"

He looks down at me in amusement. "You're willing to risk the reward for me?"

I scoff. "No. I'm just reminding you I'll be winning if you sulk like a loser in your room. Which for me, is great. But I don't like to go down without a fair fight."

"Oh," he drawls out. "Very brave of you, Princess Taranya."

"I'm a Rajput." I shrug proudly.

He clicks his tongue. "Rajput. Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth to produce the r sound. Rajput!"

"Arr.... Rajput!"

"Rajput!"

"Rajput!"

He opens his mouth to give it another go but then shakes his head in defeat. "You're hopeless." And he makes a turn for the kitchen. I stand in my place, sticking my tongue out at him childishly before making my way back to the great hall.

The event commences with a great swing. I wait in one of the rooms on second floor along with my brothers. Agastya still didn't come. The dress is so heavy it feels I might succumb to the pull of gravity before my anxiety does its job. All my brothers are wearing these ethnic Indian attires. Fitted black suit jackets and white slacks and black loafers. The designer told me the suits are called Jodhpuri suits. Each one of them looks incredible. I haven't seen Yuvraaj yet, but I bet he does too. This family has got some great genes. I'm sure their mother was beautiful, though I haven't seen her portraits around the palace.

The door opens and a male staff peeks in.

"Be ready, the Crown Prince will soon make the announcement." He informs.

Anxiety spikes within me.

I sit down when my head starts to feel light.

The door opens again, only this time it's not the male staff, but Agastya. Dressed in one of the similar attires as our brothers, and still managing to stand out. Vivaan smiles and pats his shoulder before he walks out of the room. Yuvaan channels all his attention on his phone.

"You look awful," Agastya walks up to me.

"Shut up."

"I'm going to trip you."

"Don't you dare." I glare up at him.

He only smirks.

"Bhai, are you okay?" Arush quickly walks up to him.

His smirk drops and face falls blank. "I am. Don't worry."

"Bhai," Ayush begins hesitantly.

"Don't even start, Ayush." Arush raises his hand abruptly.

"I'm not talking to you." Ayush glares at him.

"Yeah, we both know who did this so let's not pretend to be a saint, alright? That's such a douche move." Arush snaps.

Everyone in the room now have their attention pinned on us. I swallow. Can these two please stop before the argument blows out of proportion?

"I- I didn't do anything." Ayush looks away.

"You're lying."

"Did you do it, Ayush?" Agastya asks calmly.

Ayush sucks in a deep breath.

"Stop trying to find people to blame." Yuvaan cuts in sharply.

"Shut up, I'm not talking to you." Agastya grunts angrily.

"Uhm," I clear my throat. "Can we please get some privacy?" I ask the staff. They all nod and scurry out of the room. "Can you guys please stop? Let's not do this now, please."

"I've a doubt she's into this too, Bhai." Arush points at me. "The three were in her room day before yesterday."

"We were just watching a movie!" I quickly jump in when Agastya looks at me suspiciously.

"What movie? Tell me the name!" Arush demands.

"I don't remember. I slept halfway through. It was some Indian movie." I continue to lie shamelessly. "I didn't do anything." I look at Agastya nervously.

He nods slowly, believing me, and for some reason, that makes me feel even more guilty.

"We didn't do anything either." Yuvaan lies swiftly. "And even if we did, we're not the one to blame. It's you. Nobody asked you to get into an older, engaged woman's pants. It's your fault you can't resist sex." I twist my nose at the last word.

"I know you did it." Agastya says to him, firm on his words. "So stop playing innocent. The day I prove it, I'm gonna get back at you." He threatens.

"Oh, really? Breaking my art piece was not enough for you? Destroying my chance at having my work displayed in a museum was not enough for you!?" Yuvaan gets up from his chair.

Agastya blows air through his mouth, as though to calm himself. Yet he still bursts, "It's been seven months now! Seven months! I said sorry to you. You even punched me in the face so hard I got a fracture! What else do you want from me!? Grovel at your feet until you forgive me!? And for that, you stooped so low that you ruined my dreams!?"

"I didn't know, okay! I didn't know!" Yuvaan shouts just as vehemently. Ayush and I gasp. "I didn't know the game was so important for you! I didn't know it was make it or break it situation for you. I just thought-" he stops when Agastya pins him to the wall, his eyes clouding with rage.

"So you did it! It was you!?"

Yuvaan blinks, realising he blurted out everything.

Stupid.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I just hope he doesn't take my name.

Ayush and I look at each other in panic.

The door opens suddenly and Mrs. Dodiya steps through. Her eyes go wide when she witnesses the situation and strides to their direction.

"Whatever dispute you two have, get into it later. It's time for you to go." She pushes them off each other.

Agastya glares at the man heatedly.

Yuvaan fixes his jacket and rakes a hand through his hair, avoiding Agastya's accusing eyes.

"C'mon, don't waste time. The guests are waiting."

And so we leave, like practiced robots, my arms linked with Yuvaan's and Agastya's, with the twins on either side as we step down the stairs when the spotlight falls on us.

The guests stare at us in excitement, as if the happy and almost perfect family finally found its missing puzzle and is whole again.

Only if they knew, the smiles on our faces are nothing but lies.

The eldest clung to it for his reputation.

The second eldest for his hope.

The middle ones, for pretense.

The twins, for the sake of their brothers.

And I, for the man who looks at me with love and pride, who was the only one to grieve my loss and give me a family again.

My father.

Ah, the imperfect, flawed families. The story of every household.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.