Mindy drummed her fingers as the call rang through. Hurry up and answer. She drummed faster, picking up in pace as her nerves escalated. At last a voice sounded from the other end of the line.

"Hello. Baker residence. This is Amanda Baker."

"It's Mindy. Tess's mom."

"Oh hi! Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise. What can I do for ya?"

Oh God, Mindy thought. Amanda could never keep it simple. She was the type that answered a yes or no question with a five-minute lecture. Mindy didn't have time for that. She had to find her daughter.

"Is Tess there? She's late getting home and I thought maybe she was with Alex. Have you seen her?"

"No, no, not at all. Not all day." Mindy could hear the apologetic facade in Amanda's voice even over the phone. An apology with a mix of parent shaming. 'I'm sorry,' that tone seemed to say. 'I'm sorry, that you can't keep track of your daughter. Perhaps you should try being a better mother.' Rather than actually say this, Amanda continued in her perfunctory attempt at concern.

"Alex's been home the entire afternoon, but I could ask if he's seen Tess. Maybe earlier this morning?"

"Yes. Thank you," Mindy said, trying to sound calm and to restrain her agitation. She managed to keep any hint of panic out of her voice, but only just. Her annoyance at Amanda Baker, however, that may have seeped through. She could only do so much. Either way, she found herself unable to stop the tremor in her hand. The phone shook and she pressed it tighter to her ear trying to steady it. Luckily, Amanda couldn't see her, or she would have had no doubt just how worried Mindy really was at that moment. She would have known and she would have been ready to shame her even more.

"No problem at all sweetie," Amanda said. "You must be a wreck. I'll get him right now. Hold on."

A soft tap sounded as Amanda sat the phone down on the other end of the line. Mindy could hear her footsteps recede as Amanda searched the house for her own child. Hers, however, was home. Safe.

Mindy continued to drum softly on the kitchen table as she waited for Alex's mother to return. It was an old habit, a childhood habit that she had never been able to break. There were bigger battles to be fought, and for now that drumming was perhaps the only thing keeping her anxiety in check.

Mindy Robach had given birth to Tess when she was twenty-seven years old. It had been a grueling labor, and one for which Mindy had been heavily medicated. Epidurals were truly a miracle of modern science, one for which she had become forever grateful.

Mindy had always been small, just over five feet two inches tall and weighing about ninety-eight pounds before she became pregnant. Tess on the other hand had started out life large. Mindy had been diagnosed with gestational diabetes in the thirty-fourth week of her pregnancy. This had caused some concern, but she had adjusted her diet, run daily tests to monitor her blood sugar, and the doctors had assured her that the baby would be fine. They had estimated she'd be about eight pounds at birth. They had been wrong.

Mindy's due date came and went and Tess had stayed put, happily kicking her mommy's bladder and determined to remain where she was. When a week passed without beginning labor, the doctors had decided to induce. Mindy later came to believe that she should have had a C-section. Of course hindsight always provided a level clarity that proved elusive in the present moment.

Tess had been born eight days late at ten pounds four ounces. Her shoulder had become stuck during birth, endangering both her and her mother. The doctors had been forced to perform an episiotomy in order to maneuver her out. It's a fun little surgery, where an incision is made in the muscle between the vagina and one's asshole, enlarging the opening and theoretically making room for the baby to be delivered. Unfortunately even this measure didn't do the trick for Mindy and Tess. Mindy ended up with a perineal tear, which the doctors classified as a third degree laceration. The Robach translation: a gigantic damn rip in the same area as the aforementioned surgery creating one large vaginal asshole.

When Mindy should have been holding her baby for the first time, pressing her to her breast and bonding skin to skin, she had instead been hemorrhaging, bleeding out, and losing consciousness. The labor had been less than ideal.

Her then husband, James Burton (Mindy had been a Burton at the time), later described to her how all of the color had faded out of her, leaving her skin a papery white and her lips a cool, icicle blue. She had appeared as though a corpse, he had told her, and he had been torn. He had been elated about their baby girl and trying to check on her and savor every moment and every first as she took her first breathes, her first screams, her first weigh-in – her first everything - while also struggling with the concern for his wife and trying to be at her side while not getting in the way of the doctors, who were busy doing their damnedest to stop her bleeding and ease the hemorrhaging. In the end he had split the difference, running from one to the next and from one emotional high to the other emotional low.

For Mindy it had been pain, a squalling baby, and then nothing. She didn't meet her daughter until nearly a day later when she finally regained consciousness.

At the time, she remembered thinking how lucky she was. How lucky the two of them had been to either one survive that labor, let alone both of them. Despite being pinned by her shoulder during the delivery, Tess had been born with no injury and had suffered no oxygen loss and no brain damage, all of which Mindy was aware were risks during such a difficult birth. Tess came out large, screaming, and full of life, and while in time her size had tapered off leaving her a rather average-sized if slightly tall seven year-old, her zest for life had never diminished. She lived fast and hard, climbing, running, jumping, exploring, doing – always doing.  Tess was a child that never rested.

Mindy had tried to reign her in, and normally it worked, but in those moments Tess shrank into herself, her spirit caged. Over time, despite every protective impulse shouting for her attention, Mindy had learned to let Tess attack life head on.

Now Tess was missing.