Chapter 10 ― Louis 

She just hung up before I could say something and if her voice, or the way she talked to me, didn’t tell me there was something odd with her, that alone did. It was obvious that she didn’t want to talk to me and even more obvious why. That stupid only co-workers thing. Since that day at the station I couldn’t stop thinking of her and our little agreement. I thought of a hundred ways to tell her that it was just bullshit and if we wanted to be friends, we could damn well be friends. But after I thought of that, I remembered why I had to keep a distant relationship with her and any other normal girl, even Joy. If I wanted them to have their normal lives, then we should keep our distances. But even if I didn’t want to accept that, doing that with Havi was way more difficult than it seemed. It was like the more distance I had to keep, the more I wanted to see her.

“So, how did it go?” Harry asked taking a seat next to me on the sofa. I dropped the phone on my other side and just stared at the front blankly. “Lou?” He inquired as I didn’t reply.

“I shouldn’t have called her. I told you,” I said through gritted teeth.

Harry had been bothering me the whole day about calling Havi, that we should know how she was and things like that. I didn’t know why he insisted so much that it had to be me that should call her, but he didn’t leave me alone until I agreed. Yes, I wanted to talk to her but I never thought it was a good idea. I was damn right.

“Why? What happened?” He squeezed my shoulder and made me face him.

“She didn’t want to talk to me. She was busy. She hung up,” I summed up for him.

“Weird. I thought you were the one she liked the most,” he mused and my heart did a flip-flop at his words. I wasn’t sure if it was true, but I liked the idea. I liked it a lot. “Maybe she was indeed busy or maybe she’s on her period. You know how women change when they are on–”

“Stop! I don’t wanna think of that!” I cut him off and he just chuckled.

Maybe she was busy, after all they just started with the contest and probably were getting loads of calls, but I didn’t believe she would talk to anyone like that, and most certainly not to anyone she actually knew. Havi wasn’t that rude. Yes, I didn’t know her that well, but it was obvious she was a nice girl. You didn’t need to know her your whole life to know that, it was evident.

“I dunno,” I mumbled. “I just know she didn’t wanna talk to me. That’s all, you know? Like a feeling I got from talking to her,” I told my best mate and he furrowed his eyebrows in deep concentration.

“Maybe you should try to call her later or try to meet with her. I get the impression you two haven’t cleared things up as well as you think,” said the curly-haired boy and I looked at him for a couple of seconds, thinking.

I felt like there was something pending between Havi and I but I just wanted to think it was because I wasn’t all pleased with the idea of us just being co-workers and then forgetting we knew each other. But maybe Harry was right and there was something pending between us. However, if I called her it would mean breaking our agreement. I told her that we needed to keep distance to protect her and if I asked her to meet outside the radio station I was doing the whole opposite of that. I would expose her to our fans, to the paparazzi and to the rumours. And, of course, to the hate that came every time a girl was near us.

“Maybe if I call her? We could invite her and Joy over!” He proposed getting excited. “They could tell us about the contest and you could talk to Havi and forget about that fuckery of ‘just co-workers’. I told you this before, but that was your worst idea ever. And man, have you had bad ideas.”

I rolled my eyes. Harry had indeed mentioned before, many times, that keeping my distance with Havi was pure foolishness, that no one should stop me from having friends and meeting new girls; but I knew better. He didn’t have that dream, he didn’t know how it felt to know that it was your fault that someone you cared about was being hurt because of you.

“It wasn’t my idea. She suggested–”

“Because you told her that you should keep your distance, so don’t try to fool me, Tommo, I know better.” I rolled my eyes again and just snorted.

“Okay, gimme,” he said picking up my phone and starting typing.

“What are you doing, Harry?” I asked trying to see what he was writing, but he moved so I couldn’t see.

“Just sending a text.” And it had to be a long text because he kept typing and moving farther so I couldn’t see the damn text. “Done. Now we just have to wait for a reply,” he informed me handing back my phone. I looked immediately for the text he sent.

To Joy — We thought it’d be great if u 2 could come over to our flat to celebrate the contest. Say yes and I’ll send the address –Harry

I looked at my best friend unsure of what to do and I was still trying to decide what to say when my phone buzzed with a new text. I looked immediately realising how excited I was without even noticing it before.

From Joy — Sorry we can’t but thanks for the invitation. Another day maybe.

And just like that, everything was crushed. I didn’t noticed how much I wanted to see Havi until that moment when Harry invited her and the possibility was there, so close.

“They are not coming,” I told my friend quitting the application and looking at him.

“Sorry,” was all that he said and I felt sorry too because now I had to wait till Wednesday to see her.

* * *

As we walked through the halls of the radio station, my heart was beating really fast and I was really anxious. It was Wednesday and I was going to see Havi after more than a week. I didn’t try to call her again after that Friday and we only got some brief calls from Joy telling us that they got many, many calls from fans and that they had loads of work to do, but they were getting really good answers. Never something personal; never something about Havi. Just work. And I hated it.

As the days passed I took notice of how much I hated that whole ‘just co-workers’ thing. It just felt wrong talking to Joy like we barely knew each other and knowing that Havi was somewhere near but I couldn’t talk to her unless it was about the contest.

I had to change that.

Maybe if we made it clear that we were just friends –in case the fans found out about her hanging out with us–, the fans wouldn’t send that much hate, or maybe I could protect her better. It wasn’t necessary to pretend we didn’t get along. The only thing I couldn’t do was fall for her because there was no way I could protect her from the fans if we decided to become more than friends.

Therefore, I had to control myself and my reactions when I saw her. I couldn’t let my heart beat faster when her hazel eyes met mine, I couldn’t let myself grin like a fool when she smiled at me. Those reactions weren’t allowed if my plans were only to be friends with her.

We went straight to the conference room where we usually met for everything related to the contest and as expected, Havi and Joy were already there, talking as they looked at something on the screen of a laptop. As they heard us coming in, both looked up and greeted us with smiles on their faces. My eyes locked Havi’s immediately and I forgot I was with my mates, I just could look at her.

It seemed like I hadn’t seen her in forever and I wanted to make sure I remembered her properly. She looked as lovely as I did remember, her brown curly hair framing her adorable features, her eyes shining with happiness behind those dark-framed glasses she wore sometimes, her smile as warm and beautiful as usual, her body being hugged by colourful and feminine clothes that made her look so gorgeous. For some reason, I found her more beautiful than I did before and I wondered if it was because I hadn’t seen her in so long.

“Boys! So glad you’re here,” Joy said walking towards us to give each of us a hug. Then it was Havi’s turn and when she was in front of me I noticed her smile trembled a bit. I held her tight and longer than the others did, not wanting to let her go. I liked the way she felt in my arms, how her body seemed to fit so perfectly with mine.

Yeah, I was damn good at controlling myself.

I had to let her go when I heard Joy coughing. I turned to stare at her, feeling my cheeks burning and she had this disapproving look in her face, like she didn’t approve of what I just did. But it had been just a hug, right?

“So, we got like a bazillion calls and though many of them were pretty much the same, we got really incredible calls,” Joy started to say as we took seat.

“I even cried,” Havi commented with a laugh and I just looked at her, delighted with her lovely laugh.

Ugh, I was acting like an idiot. It seemed that the more I thought that we could only be friends, the more I wanted the opposite.

“It was really hard to pick the fifty for you,” Joy went on and we all nodded.

“I can barely imagine all the work you had to do,” said Liam with a sympathetically and grateful smile. “So, how are we gonna do this exactly?”

Havi pushed the laptop closer to us and turned it around so we could see the screen. “We’re gonna show you the selection with the best fifty calls of this week and you have to narrow the number. Try to leave it to twenty top so tomorrow we can finally pick the fives of this week,” she informed us.

I looked at the screen a few more seconds, but at the end I looked at her again, contemplating how lovely she was. Her eyes met mine and I couldn’t stop the smile from coming to my lips. She kind of smiled back, but she quickly looked away, avoiding my eyes.

“So, you ready to start?” Joy asked with a smile.

“Yes!” We all chorused. “But I need something to eat first,” Niall added and I saw Joy and Havi laugh.

“They weren’t lying when they said you’re always hungry, uh?” Havi said as she looked for something in her purse that she had hanging from her chair. She took out a cookie bag and handed it to Niall who smiled brightly.

“They?” I asked a tad bit confused.

“The websites and your fans. We tried to know a bit more about you all and we read some stuff on the Internet. We also watched some videos,” she replied and her smile was so beautiful. “Now we only have to make sure what we read is true,” she added.

“Gladly,” I whispered really eager to let her know us better, even more if that meant I could know her better too.

Well, definitely I couldn’t be just co-workers with her. I wanted, I needed to know more about her.

 -:-:-:-

Dedication to @PurpleLover218 because she's incredible and she was so sweet to Havi <3 Thanks.

Bel, xx