dan

i don't go by phil's office the next day. i stay in bed and sulk about the stupid crush that i've developed over my freaking boss. it's irrational and extremely unprofessional of me to be missing work just because i can't face the fact that i'm jealous.

it's not entirely my fault. phil had me believing that he's interested in me, his constant flirting and sexual jokes are one of the main reasons why i've grown to like him. we aren't even friends, and we know absolutely nothing about each other and for me to have feelings for him without all that is weird.

i don't think i have feelings for him, like i wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him, but sometimes i just feel like i want nothing more than to be close to him. i know i've been in denial about it, constantly telling myself that i find it annoying how phil constantly touches me or finds ways to make indecent comments, but in reality i actually don't mind them at all. if anything, they make me feel slightly more important than i think i am.

this sudden realisation makes me want to slap myself. how can i possibly have these kinds of thoughts about a person who probably will never feel the same way and a person who i have to work with five days a week? it is absolutely ridiculous for me to be thinking like that and getting jealous over the fact that he has sexual relations with someone else.

i never thought i would be in this place, where i'll be beating myself up over a stupid attraction just because someone gives me a little attention. maybe i'm just desperate.

i shake the thought out of my head once my phone buzzes, and i go over a mental list of people who could be calling me. it could be my brother or mother or father or phil. i don't necessarily have very many friends.

i'm proven right when phil's name flashes on my screen and i sigh out loud before answering it.

"hello?" my voice is croaky, probably from eating too much icecream last night out of annoyance, and phil only sighs from the other end.

"are you alright? you didn't look very well yesterday and you didn't show up today," his voice is deep and calm as usual, a hint of concern in his tone.

"yeah i'm fine, i just, i think i have a bit of fever but i'll be fine tomorrow," i bite my lip. "sorry for not informing you before taking a leave like this i–"

"no don't worry about it, that's alright," he dismisses my apology. "have you eaten anything?"

"not really," i shrug even though he can't see me.

"then go and make yourself some soup," he suggests, and i can hear some shuffling in the background. he's probably busy right now.

"i'm tired," i don't want to stop talking to him, so i attempt to pathetically drag out the conversation and he groans from the other end at my words.

"and ill, you should eat something before you get worse," he is no longer suggesting anything, bluntly ordering me to get out of bed and make myself something.

"fine i'll make some cereal then," i roll my eyes, a small smile stretching across my lips involuntarily and i can almost imagine phil grinning in victory.

"good," he doesn't attempt to cut off the call so i roll out of bed, pushing the warm duvet off me and stretching my arms, a small groan leaving my lips when my muscles relax.

"told you to eat something, not make me horny while i'm at the office," he teases and i can feel the heat pooling in my cheeks at the statement. i roll my eyes at him and walk tiredly to the kitchen.

"will you be listening to me making cereal like a creep?" i ask him, hoping he says yes, but he only laughs lightly in response.

"i don't mind actually, i'm looking through some progress files roslyn gave me this morning and talking to you is far more interesting," he says with amusement, and i just blush, shaking my head before responding.

"alright then enjoy the sounds of me pouring cereal into a bowl," i say as i bring my phone closer to the bowl, pouring in a heap of cereal as i put my phone on speaker.

"wow sounds delicious," i can imagine him rolling his eyes at me, so i do it back, bringing the phone away from the bowl and back to my ear.

i hold it between my cheek and shoulder as i search my fridge for some milk, humming softly out of habit as i do whenever i perform any household work, be it the dishes or simply putting a pack of crisps inside the cabinet.

"you listen to the 1975?" i can hear the surprise in his tone as i close the fridge and grab my phone back into my empty hand.

"yeah, they're pretty good," i smile, filling the bowl halfway and grabbing a spoon before descending back down to my room and slumping on the bed.

"what kind of music do you like?" he asks me just as i push a spoonful of cereal in my mouth, and i hum in slight confusion before i answer.

"i like all kinds of music actually, but i lean more towards the classic rocks, actually rock music in general, mcr is one of my favourite bands, and muse is pretty solid too," i answer with a mouthful and i imagine him nodding.

"so basically you're a sappy emo?" he laughs and i shrug, smiling slightly.

"if you put it that way,"

--
yoooooooo i was planning on this to be more serious but this book just doesn't have that vibe so yea