Lyon. 20:20.

the house in monaco was left behind, along with the ominous nature of jongdae's stares and the broken remnants of past memories left scattered across the floor. the lighters and the earth. roma had tried her hardest to calm her manic heart in the car, as soon as she'd yanked open the door and fumbled with her seatbelt, focusing on the road ahead, as she always tried to.

times like these where there was little else to do, to control her frantic breaths, heart and thoughts.

as they sped away--once baekhyun had scoured the house and grabbed any of his loose belongings that he saw, while roma idly watched, unable to move--and as the late, summer evening approached, the sky seemed to grow darker than it should have, transforming from a pretty, aqua haze to a dark topaz, a contrast of navy-blue streaked with hues of a golden-brown, traces of the sun.

remnants. always, like they lay, empty and broken, in the house. the same way that they were represented in the vast expanse of what could be the ocean. the sky.

it was gone now.

only eight in the evening, so it shouldn't have been so dark. but it was. almost like a winter night-time.

roma heard baekhyun's phone vibrate, and saw him side-glance at the lit-up screen, reading it out of his periphery. she couldn't stand the tight feeling that was stretched across her chest. he stared at the message until it disappeared, and then he focused again on driving. she hadn't managed to see who it was from herself.

could only assume. and it was better to assume the worst, to avoid disappointment.

signs along the motorway indicated that they were not very far from the city centre, where her apartment was. she felt a slight calm sensation taking over her, as she thought of being somewhere familiar, somewhere where all of her things and possessions were. a reassuring form of stability. her room, with the plants, and pictures and posters, and pads of paper.

the familiar buildings and monuments flashed before her eyes, as the car wound through the cobbled streets, headlights on. summer partying; people milling around in the centre, bare skin and big smiles, music thumping, sparks of colour dotting the skyline and the alleyways. she thought about how different her life had been when it was just her and mia, running through the night, drinking and dancing.

not long before baekhyun managed to find a place to park the car, right outside the accustomed location. roma realised she'd been holding in a heavy breath.

the car stopped. engine ceased. roma breathed out.

baekhyun was eerily silent. as he undid his belt, he reached for his phone, the illuminated screen shining into the creases of his perplexed and weary features, highlighting the heavy bags and the purple lines and indigo etches that ghosted across his seemingly perfect complexion.

"everything okay?" she managed to speak, only just. the words stuck to the roof of her mouth, her hands struggling to unclasp the belt herself.

baekhyun casually reached over and did it for her.

a second of silence. ignoring.

then he looked up.

"yeah. yeah, of course, everything is cool," he said, calmly and good-naturedly, but roma could sense the strain in the force it took him to enunciate the words.

he punched the music off.

"you, uh...you go ahead, though. i'll be up in a minute, if that's okay. just got to call someone," he said.

smiled. in the darkness of the front seats of the car. his phone was glowing.

roma decided to submerge her feelings of doubt and worry and anxiety for a moment. other matters were more pressing, right now. they shared a fleeting glance, a look that was filled with an odd power and a familiar sense of trust.

"of course. see you in a bit."

she pushed the car door on her side open.

kicked her legs out, and they shakily hit the heated ground. the audible sounds of people and cars and a summer party increased in volume, filtering into the pleasant and welcomed background noise.

roma didn't even grab her stuff from the boot or the back of the car, as she just wanted to get in and see mia and restore some form of stable rhythm to her heart rate.

her weak posture carried her across from one side of the street to the other, running, hair flying behind her in the soft, evening wind.

she managed to pull her keys from her pocket and let herself into the block of flats, buzzing the number. climbing the steps to the second floor where their shared room was. suddenly hoping and praying for everything to be okay, and for things and life to go back to normal.

unlikely.

stood outside.

roma had texted mia earlier to let her know that she was coming, on her way, here. all along the journey. mia hadn't seemed as happy and perky as she normally was over message, which only fuelled roma's apprehensions and consternations.

the door was unlocked, as she pressed down on the handle.

she could see the light spilling in from the living room into the hallway, and she could also hear the television. not complete silence; and roma was, for some reason, really grateful for that. couldn't bear the thought of any awkwardness or form of confrontation without anything to distract the void.

"mia?" she called out, in a pleasant tone, one that, roma hoped, masked everything that had happened in the past few weeks. or had it been a month...she really didn't know.

shook her mind of the thought.

darkness from outside filtered into each room and each corner.

"roma?"

mia's figure, huddled on the sofa, legs crossed and a thin sheet draped over them, hair in a bun and flicking through a magazine. distractions. face pinched and pulled back, paler, more tired. exhaustion was all roma could think about to describe what was once in a constant state of cheer and beauty, mascara framing vibrant eyes and the colour red puckering plump lips.

even in the distance, these assets had been replaced with a forlorn nature, skin pulled down with the heavy weight, posture hunched in on itself.

roma watched as mia quickly reached for the remote, turning the volume down, jumping up and, as she did, the sheet falling from her form and the magazine flitting to the ground. a look of mild shock but also relief painted her cheeks a fuller colour. they ran towards one another, enveloping each other's bare arms into a tight hug, swaying slightly from side to side.

release of tension.

"oh, my god, i missed you," mia sighed into her shoulder, her breath warm and ticklish. finger nails dug into her sun-kissed skin, the pressure more bearable and comforting than painful.

all she could do for the moment was reciprocate through her tight hug. hands clasped harder, trying to say sorry in the only way roma knew would count.

"you, too. so much," she replied quietly, gently into her ear.

a few minutes, maybe.

fleeting moment of shared emotions.

they finally released one another, roma pulling her hair back from where it had got entangled, straightening herself.

"i'm so glad you're back," she continued to exhale. "it was getting so..."

trailed off.

"i know, i know. i'm just sorry," roma tried; attempted to articulate all of her thoughts and meanings and apologies.

mia shook her head vigorously against her shoulder.

"no, no, please, oh, my god, don't be sorry."

barely, but her voice broke.

"i shouldn't have--"

"none of this is your fault, roma. really."

she'd pulled back, arms still resting gently but closely around roma, eyes widened, hair beginning to fall from her bun.

roma found herself trying to catch her breaths again.

"i, just...i wanted to e-explain, you know, but things just got...complicated and i didn't want you to feel..." roma searched for the right words, "like i'd just completely forgotten about everything. all our plans and stuff. because i didn't."

sincerity flooded from her tone. all of the words she wanted to say and express formulating into a big exhale of confused speech.

mia was watching her with big, intent eyes. listening and taking every phrase in. waited for roma to pause.

"i really understand," mia replied, and the promise of an unbreakable bond between the two of them was prominent, signified in the way that their hands were clasped and fingers were interlocked.

exchanging everything that had happened through looks and memories.

"i just hoped that you were okay," mia continued. "not hearing from you, and stuff. i mean, i assumed, of course..."

roma was somewhat taken aback.

"mia, i was more worried about you. when we talked on the phone, you sounded so...i don't know, it worried me so much."

mia smiled sheepishly. as if to try and pretend that her own problems weren't a big deal to anyone else. shook her head slightly, hair falling forward.

"i've been fine, roma, honestly. you know me," she smiled, still pretending.

"yeah, i do know you better than anyone. you weren't okay," roma said, rather sternly, in hope that mia would realise that of course she cared.

"it was nothing major."

"tell me what happened," roma persisted, gently but also with a firm, authoritative tone.

mia crossed her arms softly over her chest, right leg resting behind the other. nervously stroking her bare arms with her quaking fingers.

"you were with baekhyun--"

roma winced, looking down at the ground.

"--and, roma, i didn't want to bother you. i felt bad because before you were always having to follow me around, and i thought, i don't know, that i'd let you do your thing."

roma could see through mia's mind so easily. years of practice. mia wasn't going to tell her. she wasn't telling the truth.

"that's not...mia, come on, that's not what's happened."

just then, the front door was opened. not too aggressively, but loudly enough to cause a break in their conversation. roma had had her back to the hallway entrance, but she now turned abruptly, to be met with baekhyun, lugging a bag in either one of his hands, hair pushed back. wind-swept and with dark shadows reflecting from his exposed areas of skin.

"hey," he managed to say, lowly and deeply, clearly out of breath. dropped both of the bags to the floor, kicking his trainers off in the process.

roma felt relief. relax of tension. he was here.

she turned back to mia.

stood there, now in a more awkward stance. mia had never witnessed hers and baekhyun's proper chemistry together. she'd only seen the earlier, less official stages. perhaps it was odd for her to see roma so sure of herself and this other important person in her life.

"hiya," mia greeted casually, as baekhyun walked forward to stand with them, sliding his arm around roma's back.

roma observed as mia intently watched the small and supposedly insignificant action.

tense time.

"i'm just going to go change really quick," mia announced, putting on a bright and welcoming smile, that creased the corners of her paling lips.

"mia--"

before roma could say another word, mia was scurrying away, bare feet across the floorboards, switching the television off on her way.

silence.

roma sighed.

she turned to look at baekhyun, trying to communicate her feelings of loss and confusion. baekhyun obviously noticed. placed his arms around her shoulders, bringing her trembling frame into his wide chest.

"what's wrong?" baekhyun asked.

roma told herself to stop being so pathetic, and gently removed herself from his hold, so that she could speak her mind.

"something bad happened. i think, anyway, but. i'm also not sure," she articulated.

baekhyun's eyes were dark and wide. practically black.

"what do you mean?"

another heavy sigh.

"she's so different, i don't...you remember when i called her? she sounded so off on the phone."

baekhyun's arms fell down to his sides.

didn't say anything.

roma's head was spinning.

"did you...who were you on the phone to?" roma spoke bravely. confidently. taking control of the situation, for once.

baekhyun flinched ever-so slightly.

"um...kai and sehun. well, sehun, but kai was there. they're both here, in lyon."

roma gulped down the lump in her throat.

could feel the room getting darker at the edges, fringing the corners and lines with a black tint.

"has something happened?"

voice shook.

roma could hear a bang, as if mia had dropped something in the bathtub, and then the sound of the gushing water from the shower hitting the metallic bottom.

"yeah."

//

apologies for the somewhat boring chapters...things should get more interesting.

what do you think of radiance? can't believe i'm on chapter 53 woahhh haha :)

em xo