Do miracles exist? Do you believe in miracles?

Strong hands hooked around my arms, yanking me away from her body with an alarming force. I grunted in protest and struggled against their grip. But my defiance crumbled like a wilted flower in a parched desert as I took in the unforgiving spectacle playing out right in front of me.

"No..." I hear Cam whimpering from beside me.

I choke up, a lump forming in my throat. My heartbeat runs erratically on par with the heart monitor's beeps, making me wonder if I was wired into the heart monitor instead of the person on the narrow white bed. The atmosphere tenses as we witness the doctor desperately compressing her chest, trying to get her to breathe.

Trying to hold on to the last strings to keep them from snapping.

The increasing beeping of her heart rate monitor rings in my ears. The four white walls around me threatened to snatch me off my breath as the deafening sounds of life and death reverberated through my being; a relentless drumbeat that threatened to drown out all else. For a moment, I contemplated covering my ears and retreating from the horror before me, praying that when I next opened my eyes, it would all be nothing but a nightmare.

But it isn't.

The doctor seems to be in despair by now as his eyes switch between the heart monitor and his working hands. He stops the CPR and barks orders at the nurses. Another nurse rushes into the room and hands over a defibrillator to the doctor. Applying the gel over it, he shouts, "Clear!" and shocks her body.

I suddenly wish that I hadn't crept into the room despite everyone's protests. No matter how much I wanted to be by her side, I couldn't bear to breathe in this suffocating white room; the doctor might as well be using the defibrillator on me.

My legs wobble, unable to hold my weight and my body turns numb as it slumps onto the floor. I helplessly wait, unable to give any form of support to her. I want to be with her, next to her, to show that I haven't forgotten her. I shrug the arms off me. Tears blind my vision as I drag myself toward her regardless of the dissents from the nurses in the room with shaky legs.

We weren't allowed here at all. But nothing can stand in my way now that she was visibly slipping away from my grasp. I clutch her hand tightly towards my heart, "Please...open your eyes... You have to wake up!" I give a plaintive cry, tears finally flowing down my face like water escaping a dam.

The doctor shakes his head slowly while dragging his gloved hands through his hair, beads of sweat pouring down his face, his eyes showing his anguish and sympathy. I shake my head in denial. Prove him wrong, come on! Show him that you can still make it! Please!

The shouts and tragic cries get louder from outside the room. I vaguely hear Cam shouting profanities at the doctor while the nurses try to keep the noise down from the outside.

I don't want to lose hope, I don't want to think about a future without her.

"Come on," I whisper through my tears, "O..open y..your eyes and s..smile fo..for me." Please.

With a desperate grip, I held her hand tightly and closed my eyes, trying to find some consolation in the darkness that infested my heart as I struggled to endure the overwhelming pain there.

I'm honestly terrified out of my mind.

"Please, help her," I plea with a throaty voice, my emotions turning ridged as my eyes find those of the doctor. "Save her."

Why is he not doing anything?

Why is nobody helping her?

My breath runs short. My vision turns blurry and there is a ringing in my ears. It feels like I'm losing my breath and mind altogether. I bind my grip on her frigid hand; as if my touch, my feelings could jolt her awake somehow.

Do you feel me? Am I making you warm enough?

But then...

Do miracles exist? Do you believe in miracles?

She opens her brown eyes slowly, I almost missed it through my blurry vision.

She...She was awake!

My heart stills as her half-lidded eyes find my reddening, wide and hopeful ones. She shakily squeezes my hands back with all the strength left in her and opens her pale and cracked lips. Her voice is barely audible as she tries to get the words out. "S-Sic..." she attempts to say as she breathes out heavily.

"Shh...no, no, don't try to speak...I'm here, I'm here...I'm not leaving you.." I tell her softly, my trembling hand stroking her raven-black hair, afraid she would crumble some more if I spoke any louder. But she only weakly shakes her head, and a tear slips out of her eyes as she tries again and her struggle breaks my heart some more.

"Sic...s-si..c..," she whispers with a painful groan that wretched my heartstrings in cold blood.

"No, don't try anything okay? Breathe, stay with me, you are okay...don't panic.." I know I'm just spouting nonsense by now, but I keep talking, desperately wanting to communicate with her.

Her grasp on my hand weakens as my eyes sink into hers. I wish I knew the right words to say, but words are lost on me. Millions of stories, secrets and memories swirl around us. She returns my gaze and thousands of unexpressed words are spoken between us at that moment.

Her eyes expressed what she couldn't voice out; love, care and most harrowing of all; guilt, regret and apology.

My lips tear with a heartbreaking sob as I finally cry out, "I forgive you. It's okay, I forgive you."

She smiles. She was in pain, but the nostalgic smile she gives agonizes me further, making it harder for me to let go.

Do miracles exist? Do you believe in miracles? ...Yes, I believed in miracles because miracles brought her to me once again.

We had finally found each other.

But everything was going wrong.

Everything was falling apart at the seams.

I couldn't believe this was happening. Everything seemed unreal and hallucinatory. The events that led up to this were too sudden.

The wobbly smile she gives me just as her orbs disappear from view was as if she had accepted the truth of her fate. I try to ignore the flat beeping and Cam's devastated sobs as I shakily lean forward and kiss her cheek gently, my tears sinking into her cool skin, my heart aching with grief.

Maybe miracles were a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that we should tightly hold onto because they don't last forever.

As her cold fingers closes around mine in a final, desperate squeeze that felt as if all the remaining strength in her body was being transferred into me, as if entrusting me with her very essence, a final gift before she departed, she whispers an almost inaudible, "I'm sorry."

I'm sorry I couldn't find you sooner.

And she lets go.