Dean's POV:

Dr Pierce is the one to speak to me, the other two keep in the background. "Well the surgents have finished on Kiara as you can probably guess. At this point they have managed to save her life. Her spleen has been taken out. The metal is out and both her legs are still attached to her.

What so ever, the blood loss was huge. And the damage done to her legs were massive. The blood hadn't been flowing into her legs for a whole while. Besides the bone crashes, we can't say if her legs will ever fully function again. Nerves were trapped and not supplied by blood. And within the next few hours her legs are going to swell up due to the damage too. This might cause the main blood vessels and nerves to be trapped again.

And then there's another issue we wanted to talk to you about. With this massive amount of injuries she has to recover from now, we would usually keep her in an artificial coma. But with the babies", he breathes in deeply before heading on.

"They already are at a very high risk. The whole trauma caused to the body, is stress for the babies, all the medication and painkillers Kiara needs. And it being the first trimester...", he trails off.

"Dr Pierce talk to me. What do I need to know, or do? Do I need to decide whose life to save or what is this about?", I'm getting impatient and anxious.

"Kiara's still under narcotics right now. If we keep her in coma it means more narcotics and Kiara could heal better without enduring all the pain. At the same time it could harm the babies. Waking Kiara up on the other hand would lead to much more pain for her and stress to the body. Stress to the body could cause her to lose the babies too."

"So you want me to decide whether to keep her in narcotics or not? Because either way we could lose our babies, do I understand this right?"

"Yes."

How the hell do I decide on this one? Either way I could be killing our twins and what about Kiara? Could she deal with being awake and enduring the pain?

"When do I have to decide this?"

"I'm afraid now. The narcotics are already starting to wear off."

"I need at least a couple of minutes to think this through. What about Kiara? She's out of life danger now though, right? There's just the question how much damage is left behind, right?"

"I'm afraid it's more complicated than that. We don't know what other issues might occur within the next couple of hours or days. This wasn't just a small accident. Hidden injuries could still come up or problems due to the surgery or problems with the healing. So many risks, you know I've always been honest with you and I'm not going to start hiding things now. This is still very critical and things can change from one moment to the next but from what we can say for the moment, she has passed the worst."

So this means I could still lose her. I'm unable to take the decission what to do next.

"Is there anything we can do in between coma and her being totally awake?"

"This wouldn't be the normal procedure, but I guess we could keep her slightly sedated. So she's not fully gone, but her body wouldn't be quite so stressed. It would probably mean more painkillers though. And yet I think this is a possibility to try for the safety of both mother and babies."

"What if it doesn't work, if it's too much stress to her body?", I don't know where all these questions are coming from, but I need to know all of my options and what risks come with it. No way I'm going into this blindsided.

"We could always go back to the first option and put her into coma."

"Ok, then we'll go with the path in between."

As a CEO I'm used to taking important decisions, but nothing would ever compare to this. This is the life of my love and my babies we're talking about. What if my decision costs one of them the life or worst case, all of them. This is all my fault already. There's no chance I could deal with their loss.

"Dr Pierce there's one more thing, I also need to talk to my dad about this. But it seems this was an attempt of killing Kiara, probably because of me." No way I'm telling him the whole sick story behind this. "Is there a possibility I can speak to the head chief of the clinic? I would like to put up security for Kiara."

"I will make sure to organize a meeting within the next couple of hours."

"Can I see her?"

"She's just come out of the OR but I can take you to her within the next half an hour."

As much as I want to run to her right now, this might give me a time slot, to talk to the others and organize some things. So I simply nod and thank the surgents for their work.

Everyone is waiting impatient for me to come back and their heads bob up as soon as I reach the waiting area. I explain things as fast and well as I can. This time I tell them about the twins too. Although only seconds later I realize it might have been a stupid idea, seeing as Kiara probably doesn't know it yet. She should be the first to know.

But it was the only way to explain, why things are even more complicated right now. Sean immediately has tears streaming down his face and I'm not sure if it's because of the babies or all the rest.

"Can we see her?", Sean wants to know.

"I don't know, they will come and pick me up soon. I'll ask Dr Pierce, you're like her brother, if she wakes up I'm sure she will want to see you. But as we don't know what condition she'll be in, guess we'll have to wait first. One more thing, we've all seen the news and seeing as it was an attack as it seems, I would like to put security up."

"You think they'll try something again?", Sean gasps.

"I just want to be on the safe side. Dad can I talk to you in private?"

My dad comes along as expected, we sit outside in a quite secluded area which I check out before talking. "You know what's going on, right?"

"I could guess it. This accident and your behaviour in the last couple of weeks. Why didn't you come any earlier to me? Together we could have prevented it", I can tell he's a little upset.

"Dad you did everything you could already beforehand. Getting you or others involved just meant an even higher risk which I didn't want to take. But now I know I was so dumb to think I could manage it myself. I honestly thought I could prevent all of this happening. But then the pics from Kiara and me dancing together again in Russia had to ruin all of it. I should have just waited a couple of weeks longer and figured another way out of this. I should have kept playing this damn game."

"Do you honestly think a few weeks more would have made any difference? This bitch knows exactly what she wants and she's prepared to kill for it. We need to stop this now and we're doing this together. No way I'm letting you deal with this alone." I nearly laugh at my dad calling her a bitch.

"I got myself into all of this, this is my burden not yours dad."

"Bullshit you know it's not true. None of this is your fault. Now let's get some security sorted. The only fault lies on that sick bitch's mind. And I want more security on your side too. We're going to double them up. I'm not risking your life."

"Dad, do you really think I need more security too? I mean I'll probably be here most of the time anyway. If it's ok, I'll try and figure out how to get most of my work done from here. Well that's if Kiara will let me be with her."

"Oh boy, you got yourself into something. Honestly, I never understood why you went back to Nadine, I could see how much Kiara meant to you."

"It was for Kiara's safety. What else could I have done?", my dad sighs and nods.

"You know what, you see to Kiara and my grandchildren. I'll organize the security", the way he says grandchildren makes my heart swell.

My dad and Gale are going to be grandparents and the look on his face tells me, how much he hopes for this to go well. "Twins, an amazing gift", he whispers while pulling me a little tearful into his embrace.

Seems like this whole thing has got all of us on edge. My dad's the strongest person I've ever known, seeing him like this is hard and comforting at the same time. Honestly if anyone deserves the title best dad in the world, it would be him.

"Do you think she'll forgive me?", this is the question haunting me all the time, ever since I took this path.

"I know she loves you, but she's a very strong person who won't be told what to do", yeah, no shit, don't need to tell me that. "I chose her, because she can stand up to you and not give in so fast."

"That's not exactly encouraging, dad", I sigh.

"It wasn't meant to be. You need the truth and not some lie to make you feel better. She loves you and the two of you will hopefully have two wonderful healthy babies together. Perhaps if she understands the full story, understands you just wanted to protect her, she'll give in. You're her soft spot, just like she is yours. Show it to her and fight for her."

"I'd do anything for her."

"Then go in there now and be there for her. From what I heard this is going to be bad for her and she'll need you. And don't worry about the security I'll see to it. But we need to come up with a plan to stop this."

"I want them all taken down. Each and everyone of them who helped her and were responsible in the first place. This shouldn't have been possible in the first place."

"I agree", I know my dad will dig harder than anyone else into this now. Well anyone besides me.

Walking back in, I already see Dr Pierce waiting with the others. He's talking to Sean who is still extremely upset too. Dr Pierce promises him to be allowed in by tonight if things don't get too bad with Kiara. I even feel a little guilty that I'm allowed in, although I treated her bad the last couple of weeks and have only known her for a few months now. While Sean has known and been there for her ever since.

But she's my big love and she's carrying my babies. I need to be with her. Before I leave with Dr Pierce I tell everyone to go home, get some rest and I'll keep them updated. Besides I request from everyone not to give any information to any media or anyone else. The longer they believe she might be dead already; the safer Kiara is.

As my battery is running low, I quickly tell my dad to bring a charger later on and switch my phone off.

"She should be waking up very soon. As soon as she starts waking up we'll give her a light dose to sedate her until we know how much she can bear on pain or how far we need to knock her out", Dr Pierce warns me and introduces me at the same time to Dr Green. Dr Green is in charge of this ICU ward and personally in charge of Kiara.

I told Dr Pierce I only want the best doctors in charge of this case and I trust him when it comes down to this. I'm also introduced to Dr Drake she's the gynecologist who's going to keep an eye on the babies. They will have constant monitoring too, just to make sure and be able to react fast if anything seems to be going wrong.

Once I enter the room Kiara's in, I'm shocked to the core. All along I knew this is bad, but nothing could have prepared me for this sight in front of me. My knees give in, hoarse sobs escape my mouth while my whole body is quaking.

"You need to calm down Dean, I know this looks bad, but if you want to be here for her you need to be strong. I know too well how strong you can be", Dr Pierce talks in a very calming voice to me. It's been so many years ago and yet he has the same effect on me. "Breathe Dean. Could some one get us a cold glas of water?", he directs to one of the nurses. "Just keep breathing boy."

Somehow, I manage to get back up and take the chair placed for me next to Kiara's bed. Next to all these monitors and medical equipment. Besides a few cuts and bad bruises Kiara's face looks fairly ok, guess that's due to the airbags. If it hadn't been for them, she definitely would be dead by now. The oxygen mask covers part of her face and yet I can see that her head on the outside looks ok for that crash.

But everything beneath her head is a horror. Both her arms are plastered, although she's covered up as well as possible I can see all the bandages. They couldn't plaster the legs in case of a swelling. They are now put into something to fixate them. And there are like screws and wires all over the legs.

Everywhere are drainages to let the blood and fluid from the wounds flow out instead staying inside and causing more pressure which can be dangerous again and cause pain. They explain all of this to me. But all I see is my girl lying there like in a freaking horror show.

"We've already given her a big dose of painkillers, so she won't be overwhelmed by the pain too much. But still expect to see her react bad towards the pain, ok?", Dr Pierce warns me.

Her heartbeat starts speeding up, a sign she is waking up. Tears start streaming down her face while her breath is erratic. It breaks me seeing her like this.

"She's in pain, a lot of pain. We need to see how she can deal with it and keep an exact eye on the monitor. Also of the babies."

At the moment I can only see the heart rate of the babies. They switched the sound off as I said I wanted to hear it together with Kiara for the first time. No matter how fucked up all of this is, that's going to be our special moment in all this misery.

Kiara cries out loud and her breathing is only very shallow due to the pain.

"Honey I'm here. I'm here Kar, I'm so sorry. I love you, I love you so much", I cry while caressing her head. I'd like to take her hand, give her mine to squeeze and let out some pain but with the plasters it's impossible. She must have gripped the stearing wheel during the crash.

Once the next dose of painkillers and being sedated slightly kicks in, her tears slow down and she falls into a sleep again. Was it the wrong decision not to put her in a coma?

About an hour later she wakes up again, she's obviously still under strong pain, but she's a bit calmer than the first-time round. Tears are flowing from her eyes and her breathing is accelerated, but she's not crying out loud like she did beforehand.

Oh my Kiara, I'd take all the pain off you, if I could.

They give her another dose of a different kind of painkiller. "Let's see if we can keep her going at this rate. It would be good if we don't have to go even higher. You can try and talk to her, she might not catch on very well due to being sedated, but it might calm her to hear your voice."

Yes or it might just make things worse, depending on how mad she still is.

"Honey, once you're a little clearer at mind and the pain is a bit more bearable, I have some news for you. You have no idea how worried I've been about you and still am. I know this is asking a lot from you, but I need you to hold on and be strong. And before you drift off again I need to tell you, that you're my one and only Kar. All I wanted to do was protect you, but I fucked up. And now you're here because of me. From now on I'm going to make sure you're safe and no one can ever harm you again.

The others were all here too, we're all worrying about you. Sean will come later if you feel like you can take it." I keep talking to her, not knowing how much she's catching on until she needs to be sedated stronger again.

Not wanting to leave her I sleep with my head on the table in her room. Exhaustion has gotten the upper hand of me.

She wakes up about every hour until the pain gets too much and they put her back down. Does she at all realize what's going on around her? Before Sean enters the room, I go out to warn him, I tell him how I lost it and he can't do the same now as Kiara is awake. Well as far as you can call it awake.

"So it's ok if you cry", my bloodshot eyes should tell him how much I have cried myself. "But don't lose it. She looks really, really bad. Perhaps try and look at her face and blend the rest out. And whatever you do, don't mention the babies yet. I don't know how much she really catches on and I want her to be a bit clearer at mind before I tell her."

Sean agrees and as soon as we enter the room, his hands clasp over his mouth and tears flow like a waterfall. But indeed he's braver than I was or he was better prepared than me, I don't know.

He sits at Kiara's side for a whole while, caressing her head and talking to her just like I did until the pain gets unbearable again and they sedate her again.

At 10 pm the doctors tell me to go home. They will sedate her a little stronger so she'll be out for the night and get more rest.

*****8 days later*****

The last eight days have nearly all been the same procedure, as soon as the pain was getting too bad she was being sedated again. In the last two days they've been taking the dose down a lot and I slowly have the feeling she's coming around and catching on to the things I tell her. Her heart rate goes up when either I or Sean come into the room.

I was a bit more relieved when the security arrived on the second day. They all had to register personally with me and I keep a close eye on them, so no one can just sneak into that team. No one is allowed to enter this room without being controlled and approved of. I even tried to reduce the amount of nurses and doctors allowed in here, if there isn't an emergency. There's no risking anything anymore.

Watching her in so much pain has been killing me every time. I think next to seeing her nearly die, this was the worst part, but she's alive and that's what I keep on reminding myself of. Her cries and tears in pain mean she's alive and with me.

"Dean", I hear her croak when I sit down next to her in the morning. Oh my god, it's the first time she's said anything since the accident.

"Good morning, Honey", I sniff at the sound of her voice. I swear I feel like I'm all hormonal at the moment, the way I keep on crying.

"Why can't I move? And why is there so much pain?", her voice is husky but her mind seems clear.

"You've had a very bad accident."

She frowns. "At the race?"

"It happend on your way to the race." She nods as if she was remembering it.

"You've been here before, right? What day is it?"

"Your accident has been ten days ago. And yes, I've been here most of the time, besides for the couple of hours sleep I force myself to go home for."

"Why? Why are you here?" Somehow, I knew this question would come. But against my expectations, she doesn't sound angry or as if she's going to have me kicked out any second.

"Because I love you Kar, I love you more than you know. And I can't bear to be away from you anymore."

"But you have a girlfriend", her heart rate goes up with those words.

"Nadine means nothing to me. The full story is too long and exhausting for you now. But long story short, it was all fake to protect you. I'll explain it to you once you're a bit better and my dad and I have figured things out. All you have to know right now, is I love you and I'd do anything to protect you. Remember at some point when we were still together I already said how sorry I am and I'd do anything for you and I did.

Sadly it wasn't enough and this is why you're here now. I'll let the doctors explain all the injuries to you, but it's been very bad Kar. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you the way I should have. You're now surrounded by security guards 24/7. Kiara is there anything you want to tell me? Anything that you found out before the accident."

She frowns at me. "Why is there something I possibly heard, I shouldn't have? Is Igor somekind of Mafia and they think I heard something and this is the reason I'm here? Fuck I knew something was wrong with those guys", she chuckles until the pain gets the upper hand. Seems like she really has no idea.

"Try not to move or laugh at the moment. You still have a lot of recovering to do. Now try and stay calm, ok?", she gives me an unsure look but nods. "When you were delivered into hospital your spleen had also ruptured and they did an ultrasound of your whole abdomen. Kiara you are about 10 weeks pregnant with twins right now."

"That-that's....no way....that's impossible. I'm on ......I'm on birth control", she stammers.

"Yes that was similar to my first reaction", I'm not going to tell her about my first huge fear, of her setting me up. I did her so wrong with that. "But Honey, it is true and like a mirracle they've survived all of this. Your injuries were so severe but our babies seem to be amazing strong."

"Our babies? Oh my god. Are you...I mean how do you feel about this?"

"I know I have a lot to make up for. And I don't expect you to trust and forgive me in an instant. But I love you so incredible much Kar and I love these babies too. This might be a little faster than I had expected, but I want a family with you and the three of you mean the world to me. How do you feel about this?"

"I don't know, I hadn't expected it. And at the moment I have so much incredible pain in my body it's hard to concentrate on anything else. But I guess it's scary and amazing at the same time. I can't even touch my belly", tears start pooling in her eyes.

"It's ok Honey, you'll have the chance to touch your belly. Let's do something else, something I've been waiting for from the first day I knew but wanted to wait until we can share this moment. Let's listen to the heart sound. I'll get Dr Drake to come and do this with us, ok?"

Unable to speak she simply nods.

Only about half an hour later Dr Drake comes and does an ultrasound, shows us together our tiny babies and we can see the heart beat, before she adds the sound. Both hearts are beating as they should Dr Drake tells us and they have grown as they should. We take time to listen to the heart beats.

All the pain from the last couple of weeks are drenched away for a moment just with this sound. The weight taken from my chest causing me to sob, burrying my face into Kiara's hair.

"Ten weeks?", she asks tearful and Dr Drake confirms.

"Our holiday", I whisper and she starts sobbing hard.

"Honey please calm down, this isn't good for you."

It takes her a while until she's calmed down a little. "I don't know how we're going to fix this Dean, you broke me so bad. But I love you and we're going to be a mommy and daddy."

"Give me time to fix this Kar, let me explain everything to you in peace. Because there is nothing I want more in the world than you and our tiny family."

Kiara nods but keeps crying. There's no doubt she wants the same as me. But at the same time she doesn't know what to believe or whether to trust me and I can't blame her.

At some point the pain is getting the upper hand again and Kiara has to be sedated slightly again.

A/N: What did you think about this chapter? The different kinds of emotions here.

Even with being in hospital so much myself, I'm a sucker for medical series especially Grey's Anatomy. And a lot of hospital time has brought a lot of other experiences with it. Hope you don't mind all the medical stuff.

Have a lovely day! Please hit that tiny star button for me and comment, it helps and means an awful lot to me. <3