Kiara's POV:

The "No", of Dean keeps echoing in my head. I knew it was a stupid question to ask in the first place, but how do I react to this? He broke my heart in the first place, I can't go ahead and comfort him now over a possible heartbreak with Nadine.

Damn why did I ask? Couldn't I have just left it? Bitch that's what you get for being concerned about your ex in the first place. Well damn. Before I can say anything Dean gets up and walks to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Well I guess that saves me asking any further questions. I mean if he had really wanted to talk about it, he could have just said more than just a no. Right? Would I have said more? Guess not. But the fuck, why am I fussing about him being upset? Not ok? Or whatever.

He hurt me in the worst kind of way and I feel broken every single day. I'm not living, I'm only barely surviving at the moment. Everytime I see him, I feel like being shattered into even more pieces. Every single bit of my heart and soul is crunched to the core and in pain.

And him and Nadine just rub that pain further and further into me every time I see them. Any time I see them touch, his arm wrap around her or worst when I see them kiss.

It's so bad it's physically affecting me, my bloodpressure is off, I feel nauseous, I can't sleep and there's just so much pain I can barely handle. So why do I feel sorry for him? I just wish it would all go away, the pain, the feelings, everything.

Honestly I wish I had an on and off button to feelings, just like Stefan uses his on off button in the Vampire Diaries.

Tired I lean down on the seats and close my eyes, with the coolpack against my head. Luckily the stewardess was able to provide me with a coolpack. No matter how tired I am, I'm not going into that cabin, the seats will do me just fine. And if I manage to sleep, it would mean I don't need to worry about awkward silence or having to talk to Dean, who by the way is spending a long time in that bathroom. Not that I care.

I wake up to someone telling me I need to fasten my seatbelt. What the fuck? I nearly slept five hours, well at least saved me a lot of awkward time. If I can keep it up like that, the weekend might not be too bad. Meeting, maybe eat and drink, definitely party, plenty booze and the rest of the time I'll simply sleep.

Opening my eyes I see Dean's eyes lingering on me.

"Did you hear Kar, you need to fasten your seatbelt", I simply give him a nod and start fastening the seatbelt. Which reminds me of our first trip when I didn't know how to buckle it up. But Dean tears me out of my thoughts. "Are you ok? You slept nearly during the whole flight."

"Guess I've just slept too little lately", I shrug and try not to show him, how much his voice affects me.

Dean ruffles his hair, sighs and then softly answers. "Know that feeling."

Alright I'm not going to question this, because I'm nearly sure I don't want to know the answer. By the marks on his face, I guess he did the same as I did and slept at least partially during the flight.

"Did you read into what we need to talk about in our presentation today?"

"Sure I made it."

"Right", he palms his face and I'm nearly sure he's calling himself an idiot in his head right now. "So you're prepared or should we talk about it beforehand? We could have a short lunch and talk it over."

"Nope, I'm fine. I'll stick to the plan Gina sent me", sure as hell I'm not spending lunch with him.

Another sigh falls from Dean's lips and we fall into an awkward silence again. It doesn't change on our way to the hotel either. Once we have our room cards I head straight to the elevator, apparently not fast enough as Dean pushes in too.

Great the air seems like it's been sucked out of this elevator. Why do I have to feel his presence in every inch of my body? It's just not fair.

"Kar can we talk?", of course he has to ask me, when there's no way to escape.

"No Dean, I don't see a reason to talk. We're here for business reasons and that's the only reason I'm here."

Seconds later the elevator doors slide open and I rush out of it, to find my room. Of course Dean is situated directly next to me. I let out a small huff as soon as I realize it.

"5pm in the lobby", Dean tells me quickly.

"I'll be there." With the nearly 6 hour flight plus the time change it only gives me half an hour to get settled a little. No idea where he wanted to fit in a little lunch anyway, I chuckle to myself about his stupidity in that case. I'm curious to try some food here tonight. From what I could see, tonights meeting is a short one again and the main meeting will be tomorrow.

After refreshing myself a little, adding new lipstick to my lips, I head down to the lobby again. I only took a quick look around the massive suit. I thought Dubai was impressive, but here they seem to want to brag with everything. Everything is covered with gold and sparkle. The lobby is no different.

This is the most exclusive thing I've ever seen. Huge sparkling chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. I knew the Russian's have a hang for gold and diamonds but this is....I don't know....it's ridiculously overloaded and makes me want to cringe.

On our way here I saw BMW's completely covered in sparkly gems or covered in gold. This is definitely different from the world I come from. Looking around the lobby, the women here are all loaded with massive jewellery and huge diamonds. Well this surely doesn't represent the whole of Russia. But I guess it represents the difference between rich and poor in this country strongly.

When Dean steps in my direction, it nearly knocks the breath out of me. Why does he have to look so damn good? It's breath taking. He's wearing a light grey slim fitted tux with burgundy running stitches and a matching burgundy button up shirt. His usually slightly disheveled hair, is slicked back neatly, making him look even stricter and the dominance appears even stronger.

He looks like the rich control freak he is, and it's damn hot. Damn just thinking of the control freak he can be, makes me clench my legs together. I hate my traitorous body.

No idea how long I've been staring at him but it obviously was long enough for Dean to realize. A smirk appears on his face as soon as my eyes land on his perfect shaped full lips. The way he walks full of self confidence in my direction, just makes the heat rise even more. While I'm totally flushed, he doesn't seem to bother to hide he's checking me out from head to toe again.

"Well I'd say, just looking at you will secure us this deal. You look amazing Kar."

"Great so I'm not here because of my brains but as a piece of meat", I roll my eyes and think about my talk with Tyler. Sending a new wave of pain through my heart. A piece of meat, that's all I was.

Dean frowns. "A piece of meat? What the hell are you talking about? Of course you're here because of your brains and great work. But I won't deny having an amazing looking woman at my side just makes things even better."

"Right, I'm sure you needed Nadine for her brains along to your meetings too. Does she have one by the way? I haven't seemed to have come across it yet."

"Can we not talk about Nadine please?"

"Uh what's wrong, you don't like talking to your ex about your girlfriend? Or is it embarrassing to talk about her lack of brains?", yes this is what I'm going to do this weekend, if I have to talk to him, I'm going to taunt him.

"No I mean, I'm here with you Kar and I simply don't want to talk about Nadine."

"Wow that must be an amazing relationship, if you don't feel like talking about her within such a short time", I laugh. "Was it the same with me?"

"You're not her and can't be compared to her, alright? Now cut it", his angry voice booms through the car we're currently already seated in.

True we can't be compared, she's the absolute opposite from me in looks and behaviour and she's the one he loves and not me. His words just hurting me a little more. I turn my face towards the window so he won't be able to see the tears pooling in my eyes. Well bitch that just backfired, it's your own fault.

The meeting runs much to our satisfaction and to my surprise and pleasure, I wasn't the only woman. There was a woman who might have been in her mid fortys and highly attractive I have to mention, styled to perfection. At the end of the meeting I get to talk to her a bit and she tells me she was very happy to meet another business woman in a world mainly ruled and dominated by men.

Once the main business talk is over Dean and I get invited to one of their restaurants. As much as I hate the thought of going out with Dean, I know it would be extremely rude to turn the offer down. There's no chance to get showered and changed beforehand either, as it's already 9pm we head from the meeting directly to the restaurant.

As I'm not sure what to order, I ask the woman, who's named Olga, to help me choose. Honestly I'm a sucker for trying new food and being in a foreign country is the best place to have it. Again everything is extremely high class and I'm sure I couldn't even afford the appetizers served.

Even with being seated next to Dean, I try to ignore him as well as possible and pretend I'm more interested in talking about how women live in Russia. Olga luckily talks a lot, leaving me to simply eat, which is good as I feel like I'm starving. And this food, whatever it is, tastes amazing.

The dessert comes with sparklers and edible gold, which somehow doesn't surprise me and it's possibly the sweetest food I've ever eaten. While trying to hide how hard it is to keep that sweet stuff down I hear two of the guys talk about a race their going to after this dinner.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry I didn't want to interfere, but I couldn't help but hear about that race you're talking about. Would it be impolite to ask if I can come along?"

Dean next to me tenses, but one of those guys simply smiles at me. "I'll take you anywhere you want. Do you like cars?"

"Yes sort of", I chuckle. "I heard there are races here in Moscow nearly every night. Is that true? And the races are very extreme?"

"Have you ever been to a car race?", the guy, I think his name is Igor, asks with an extremely deep voice.

"Perhaps", I smirk while taking another spoon full of my dessert, to prevent grinning over my whole face.

"If you want to come I can take you", Igor offers with a smirk on his face. Dean's hand grips hard on to my thighs underneath the table and he glares at me. "You just want to watch, or you want to be in my car during the race?"

"Oh, so you drive yourself? Actually none of your options, I would love to drive myself", I retort and bite down slightly on my bottom lip.

Dean's hand now digs painfully into my thigh and I swat him away. The two guys across from me start laughing about my request. Until they realize I'm not joking.

"You? You want to drive? Do you at all know how to handle a car Baby doll?", Olga hits him up the head for his remark. He grumbles a bit. "Fine I'll let you drive my car one round."

"It's a quarter mile here too, isn't it?"

"Oh girl you watched Fast and the Furious. Don't believe driving a car or watching a race is anything like a real race."

If this weren't business partners, I'd be rolling my eyes already and finding ways to put them down for their typical men/macho behaviour when it comes down to races. Instead I simply nod.

Can't afford to get into a banter with them like I did with Nick.

"One more thing Baby doll", woop there comes another smack from Olga, did I mention that I like her? "If you wreck my car you pay."

I gulp knowing whatever car this guy drives I couldn't even afford the bumper for it. Even if I know I can handle any car, I don't know how reckless they drive here. Before I can answer Dean does. "I'll come up for it, that's if Kiara lets me sit in the car with her."

Great, so here I am, close to living a dream and it being a nightmare at the same time. All eyes are expectantly on me. "Fine" I huff.

I may not be wearing my racing gear, but all I really need is to get some other shoes. Luckily I'm able to buy a pair of trainers. And only an hour after our dinner, we're lined up. Igor takes his race first and I have to admit he's not too bad.

"Well Baby doll, good luck and don't wreck my car. By the way, the gas pedal is on the right hand side, just so you know." And he drops the key in my hand. "You could give me a kiss as a thank you", he lowers his head just as Dean steps in.

"She's not kissing anyone", he spits while pushing me behind him. Jesus, does he know this is one of his business partners? Ok I think they're more like the small fish it's Olga and the guy we're meeting tomorrow who count. And yet he shouldn't mess with them.

"We'll see", Igor winks at me. "Perhaps after the race."

"Get in the car", Dean yells at me. If it wasn't nearly my turn I'd stay just to despite him.

"Well you better move your ass in yourself if you want to be in the car during the race."

As soon as both of our car doors have been closed, Dean explodes. "What the hell were you thinking, doing this fucking race? And what for a fucked up game are you playing with Igor?"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm a street racer, just like these guys. If you don't like it get the hell out of here. Otherwise let me concentrate on the race now."

"Don't you dare get us both killed."

"Get out you cunt if you're so afraid. If I die no one would care anyway", my anger is getting the best of me. For a fact I know at least Sean, Tyler, Nick and Chris would care and probably Gina.

Dean looks like I just slapped him into his face and he doesn't say another single word. Instead he stares out of his side window. My anger is messing up my excitement a bit, but as soon as I'm the next one it kicks in again.

Moscow is well known for their illegal street races and the cops hardly manage to do anything about it. It's always had a fascination for me, to participate in one here. A Mercedes wouldn't be my first choice for a street race, but be it. It's well tuned and I know I can handle this baby.

As soon as the race starts the adrenaline as usual flushes in, during these few seconds I'm free again and my mind is free, I'm able to breathe, no pain whatsoever. Sadly it's over far too fast.

"Lucky you don't have to pay I'd say."

"I went along, because I knew you could prove these guys better. And it turn..... I mean I like the way you drive. Those guys just think they can drive, because they're guys, they needed to see a woman can beat them."

"Right, that's why you told me not to kill us. Well too bad, you still gotta deal with me."

"I was simply mad because of this Igor guy. Don't you dare kiss him", just the fact that he's so against it, makes me want to do it.

Igor opens my car door and stares at my ridden up dress, well better said at my bare legs. I had to pull it up a little, to be able to move better. He reaches out a hand to me, which I take.

"You're a racer, Baby doll?", it's more a statement than an question.

"Yes Igor", I smile at him and pull him down slightly. Just as his lips are about to brush against mine, I turn slightly away and give him a kiss on the cheeks. "Thanks for lending me your car. I'll see you tomorrow I guess", and I give him a slight wink leaving his jaw to drop.

Only seconds later Dean clutches his hand angry around my wrist. Seems to be a habit with him. "Why the hell do you always have to do the opposite from what I say? I told you not to dare kiss him."

"First of all, I didn't kiss him not the kissing like he had in mind anyway. Secondly a kiss on the cheek is a common thing here, actually it should have been more to be polite. And last but not least, I don't give a fuck what you want or say. This is my free time, we're not working. And just because we were a thing or something like that, doesn't mean you have the right to tell me for the rest of my life whom I'm allowed to kiss. Why do you make a fuss anyway? You've got a new girlfriend. You chose your ex over me and cheated on me for weeks. Why do you still think you have a right, to say something? You broke me Dean, and you know it, stop breaking me even more."

With that I turn around and head in some direction, no idea where. Just simply away from him, while tugging my dress back into place. I probably shouldn't be walking here on my own, but I don't care. I'm so fuelled with anger right now, anyone coming near me in a wrong way is in life danger.

Dean does try to follow but I manage to mix in the tight crowd and he loses track.

As soon as I'm far enough away from the crowd, I find a cab to take me back to the hotel. Luckily I had a card of the hotel on me, as I had no idea how it was called and besides this driver doesn't understand a word I'm saying. I don't speak a word of his language and he doesn't speak mine.

First thing I do is head for the bar in the hotel. It doesn't take me long to feel tipsy, the shots here are good. A few guys try chatting me up, drinking alone seems to attract all the guys and I guess my red dress is doing the rest of it. At some point I realize cameras are flashing here and there at me. Seriously?

We're far from home. Dean isn't even here. We're not together anymore. Why is the paparazzi still after me? I'm just a simple woman. A single, simple, drunk woman. Instead of dealing with it anymore I head up to my room.

Shit, I can barely get the card into the door slot, perhaps I did have a few more shots than I should have. Just as I'm trying the fith time, I hear his voice out of his room. Damn I don't want to eavesdrop, I just want to listen to his voice for a moment. Just a short moment I can pretend in my drunken head, I'm allowed to enjoy his voice. So I let myself sink to the floor infront of his door.

"No fuck Nadine, I can't deal with this shit any longer." Great I'm listening to him and his bitch, but his voice is so addicting.

"No, look I've been fighting really.......................You know I'd do anything, but it never seems to be enough....................I know it wasn't your intention. But you have to stop it....................It's killing me, I can't go on like this", his voice is hoarse and he sounds like he's crying.

Nope I've heard enough, even in my drunken state, I can't listen to this shit. This way the voice I love so much isn't going to sooth me either. I get up from the floor infront of his door and after several tries of getting my card into the slot I can finally make it.

I barely manage to make it into bed before breaking down crying for what feels like the millionth of times in the last couple of weeks. Why was I so stupid to listen in while he was talking to Nadine? My drunken state was so desperate for him and now I'm just hurting even more again. Hearing him cry over an argument with her, just makes me realize even more I never had a chance in the first place.

Why does he still have to act like a caveman with me then? It's just not fair.

A/N: Arrrghhh these two are driving me insane at the moment lol. And it's my damn fault, so no one I could curse.

Any favourite parts in this chapter?

Things are going to get more and more intense in the next couple of chapters. Just to warn ya it's brewing up. So get ready.

As always please remember to comment and vote, it helps me an awful lot. Thanks <3