Chapter fifteen: Andrew

Sleep was the last thing on my mind. I was pacing, wondering if dad went back to his room. I left my room four times to check on him. He stayed in the guest room the rest of the night sitting in the dark, weary and silent. I offered to make him a snack. He shook his head, unblinking. Instead of sleeping, I unpacked the rest of my stuff. Unsealing the boxes, I removed each item slowly so I wouldn't wake anyone up. As I lifted one object after another, I looked to the dark window that was Rachel's room.

It must be nice to be sound asleep. I emptied each item, avoiding checking the time. It was still dark outside. I slumped on my bed, hoping to hear the creek from the floorboards that he was going back to bed. Nothing. I hung my head, shuffling my feet. I had no idea what to do. I saw her light go on. She was up and about as well. She exited her room. Where was she going? I couldn't go over there. Her parents might get angry. I flopped on my mattress, covering my body with my blanket, hoping slumber would catch me. I had no one to talk to about this except Rachel. Maybe mom but she would become despondent and deny something was wrong. It wasn't the first time this happened. I worried my sister would see dad in this state of mind. I got out. I had to get out and leave. I exited through the front door, sitting on the front steps, and placed my head between my thighs and breathed. In and out. In and out. "What are you doing?" Rachel asked, in her pajamas as she stared at me. Her purple pajamas were loose on her body, the wind blowing under her shirt, the black bonnet on her head, her shoulders high when she spotted me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I asked you first," she said, placing her hand on her hip.

"So?" I retorted.

She shook her head, obviously too tired to come up with a comeback. "I couldn't sleep," she responded. "You?"

"Can't sleep," I answered groggily.

"Oh." she bit her lip and fiddled with her fingers. "Um, sorry."

"What for?" I scoffed.

"I don't know. I don't know what to say. It's been a while. I usually stay up reading fanfiction." She chuckled shyly. "It's surreal, you know?"

"What is?"

"You know, you're here. I'm here. It's been a long time."

"Huh." It has been a while, seeing her here next door. She kicked something in front of her, in her blue bed slippers that resembled bunnies. I snorted. She actually kept those? I remembered she bragged about them when her mom bought the day they went shopping at Target.

"Do you, uh?" She squeezed her eyes shut. I knew she wanted to ask me to come over, but I couldn't. I should keep an eye on my dad. "Nothing. Forget it. It's cold, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Don't you need a jacket?" She frowned. "A long-sleeved shirt?"

"No, I like it. It's brisk. It keeps me focused."

"Hmm. Ok." The tension between us was unnecessary. She wasn't looking my way as she stood, staring at the moon. "Ok. goodnight."

"Rachel, wait." I stood, jogging lightly. She turned before she entered. "Why are you really out here?"

"I told you, I couldn't sleep. I was reading something and ..."

"Reading what exactly?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Fanfiction. Like I said." She scratched her elbow, looking away. "Good night." She opened her door and entered. Leaving me here alone again, I sighed, looking down at my feet and went back inside as well. She wouldn't tell me how she felt. There's no point. 

***

I didn't care if I looked tired. I didn't care that the circle around my eyes was deeper than before. I didn't care that I dragged myself through the hallways like a zombie. Dad made it to the room around 4 am. Then I went to bed. For about two and a half hours. I laid my back against the lockers, trying to stay awake. I drove at a slug speed with Rachel. She looked at me repeatedly, noticing the frown in my peripheral vision, but didn't look at her. She didn't say anything to me for the rest of the ride. She kept her arms crossed and focused on the passenger window. I wanted to turn on the radio, but the silence made me concentrate. Her breathing was my radio. She laid her head backwards on the seat. I went to the Dunkin Donuts and got a black coffee. I downed it before I entered the school building.

"Andrew?" A bump against my hip as Kim approached me. Her eyes were wide and eyebrows furrowed. When she looked at my face. "Are you ok? You look tired."

"Yeah, I didn't get enough sleep last night," I told her honestly, rubbing her eyes tonight.

"Aww." She pouted her bottom lip. Instead of asking anymore questions, she caressed my forearm softly. "I heard meditation was great. Try 10 to 15 minutes before you go to bed."

I smirked, "I'll try."

"You're still coming to my party this weekend, right?"

"I'll be there, looking less like a zombie," I joked. She smiled widely and walked away. I dropped my smile, rubbing my forehead. A headache was coming. I swallowed hard and sighed out loud. Kim was nice, attentive. The first person here that cared for my wellbeing since I was new. Sure she liked to flirt, I didn't mind it. Girls looked at me as their future boyfriend. It couldn't hurt, right?

Going to class, I attempted to pay attention to what the Physics teacher Mrs Lots was explaining. My eyes refused to stay open. I closed it for a little while, resting my cheek against my palm. The room was warm. The chatter of the teacher rattled on as I rested. "Mr. Strong, Mr. Strong," Mrs Lots scolded.

I snorted, sitting up straight, "yes."

"Are we interrupting your slumber?"

"I wasn't sleeping." I shook my head.

"Hmm. Please pay attention." I sighed. She continued the lesson on the board. I moaned, leaning back in my seat to avoid falling asleep again. I'll take a nap when I get home.

After school, I came home to an empty living room. I expected mom or dad or my sister watching tv or eating. I dropped my backpack and placed a call. There was a text message from mom that left me in a dread: meet us at the hospital.