I peer into my mother's study and pull a green jacket onto my bare arms.  I spot my mom sitting at her computer desk, her gray eyes glowing white from the screen.  Her dirty blonde hair is tied in a loose knot while wild strands hang around her face.  Her facial expression reveals how exhausted she is.

   Feeling like I interrupted something, I back up and say, "Sorry."

   "You're alright, honey," my mother promises.  "I'm just looking for a job.  After spending all night searching, I think I've settled on a restaurant downtown."  Her faint wrinkles crease into those of a fake happy smile.

   My heart aches for her.  My mother is strong.  Finding the guts to divorce my father was the toughest decision she's ever made.  Her biggest fear of being alone forever is closer than ever, but she knows that it's better than staying with my father.  She is truly a brave soul.

   Saying my father is a bad man seems wrong.  He has his reasons for doing what he did, and I refuse to judge him for that.  Every person has a right to make their own choices; his just weren't beneficial for us.  So, we went our separate ways.  No arguments or begging.  We just accept it.

   Even though my father has visiting rights, I kind of hope that he will stay away.  I am sure that his presence around our new home will just soil it.  My mother, being overly kind at times, denies it; but I know that seeing him again will send her head-first into a depression.  I don't want that, so I make it my goal to stay happy for her.  To encourage and lift her up when she needs it.  She's my number one responsibility.

   So far, it's working.

   "That's great, mom!" I say with a huge grin.  "When are you going for an interview?"

   "I just sent in my résumé," my mother answers, looking relieved at my excitement.  "They said they would respond within twenty-four hours, so we will know then."  She leaves the desk and puts an arm around me, kissing the top of my head.

   "It's been hard leaving your father behind," she murmurs thoughtfully as she rubs my shoulder.  "But if I get this job, things will finally start rolling around here.  We'll finally be able to decorate your room the way you want to," she adds with a tiny smile down at me.

   I laugh.  "I think you want my room decorated more than I do," I giggle lightly.  Suddenly, a bark from outside the study reminds me what I am supposed to be asking.

   "Oh, that's right!" I look up at my mother.  "I want to take Lilac for a walk.  She hasn't gotten to stretch her legs properly since we moved here, and the weather is better than it has been in days.  There's a park not too far from here that looks perfect for dogs.  Can we go?"

   My mom frowns for a moment, as if she's skeptical.  I understand why; New York City isn't exactly the safest place to walk around on my own.  Especially after the whole Shredder incident.  It took weeks for me to locate my mother again, even after the Shredder was killed.  Now that we're finally together again, it's going to be tough to let me go places.

   With Lilac with me, though, I am more than protected from any strangers that come near me.  She's a cute dog, as well as the runt of the litter, but she certainly knows how to scare off creeps.

   "Alright," my mother agrees, evidently reading my mind.  "Be safe and do not leave Lilac's side."

   I smile.  Lilac is my best friend.  Of course I won't leave her.

   "Bye, mom!" I call as I race towards the front door.

   "Put a leash on Lilac!" My mother's voice echoes after me, to which I just snort in amusement at.  She knows that Lilac hates leashes.  It's impossible to put one on her. Besides, she always sticks near me, so she doesn't really need one.  However, just in case, I grabs a leash and collar on my way out the door.

   The moment Lilac follows me out the door, her furry white tail lifts and wags contently. She trots beside me with her black nose in the air, and her pale blue eyes fixed straight ahead. Her baby pink tongue lolls out of her mouth as her pace slowly begins to overtake mine.

   I smile and touch her long, soft fur to warn her to stay next to me. She falls into step with me, but her gaze stays straight ahead as they glow with enthusiasm. I can't help but giggle.

   A short figure catches my eye. On the sidewalk across the street, a spot a very familiar teenager. Her odd-colored eyes fix on me and she smiles kindly, waving. Her auburn hair is just as frizzy as ever, but her pale face is lit with profound joy at the sight of an acquaintance.

   "Hi, Lucy!" she calls.

   "Hello, Fay!" I return the greeting with equal cheerfulness, before we both continue on our way.

   Fay was the first person I met at school now that it has finally started back.  Without having Charlotte with me anymore, it took some time for me to be willing to let other friends it.  But now that I've gotten to know Fay, she os the best friend I can ask for under such depressing circumstances.  Sure she talks so much that her mouth might fall off, but I love listening to her babble.  She is a really intelligent girl, and she apparently has a fascination with alien life forms.  I don't want to expose my turtle friends, so I simply nod and smile when she mentions things like that.  Even with her quirks, however, she is a wonderful acquaintance to have.

   I arrive at the park faster than I thought I would.  As expected, Lilac begins to romp around the grassy area with her tail waving like a flag.  Her nose is practically pressed to the ground as she roams the park, searching for new scent trails to follow.

   Seeing that my best friend is satisfied, I walk to a bench and sit down.  Glancing up at the sky, I realize with a pang that the clouds are starting to darken.  Rain is coming, which means we're going to have to return home soon.  Lilac isn't going to appreciate that.

   Examining the park, I realize there isn't much for Lilac to discover anyway.  The autumn weather has destroyed all the green.  That bums me out, because spring is the best time of year.  I long to see poppies and daisies growing around my feet as I walk through the beautiful, forest-green park.  But that dream isn't getting granted any time soon.

   Suddenly, a vicious bark from Lilac startles me.  I jump and spun around, ready to defend myself and my best friend.  However, as my gaze settles on who Lilac is barking at, I lower my guard a bit.

   There, standing right in front of an angry Lilac, is a giant turtle.  Not an oversized one by any means, but one that closely resembles a human.  His brilliant green eyes send a familiar chill up my spine.  He has a red mask on his face, and some sais around his waist.  He does not look pleased with Lilac as he slip one of the weapons out of its sheath.

   With a jolt, I realize he's about to attack my dog.

   My breath hitches in my throat as he moves towards Lilac.  Mortified, I can only manage to put my hands up to attempt to stop him. "Raph, no! It's only Lilac and I," I gasp in a shaky voice.

   To my surprise, Raphael pauses. He fixes his piercing eyes on me and scrutinizes me.  "So? Give me one reason why I shouldn't shut this ugly freak up for good," he snarls.

   I flinch, but I'm not angered by his heartless words.  I am too afraid to say anything that might make him lash out.  Has grief really caused him to lose his mind like this?

   "Well?" The turtle stomps his foot, enraged by my quiet nature.  I see the muscles in his biceps tense up.  He looks as if he wants to break me into shards of nothing.

   "She's my best friend," I say softly, visibly shaking out of concern for Lilac.  My dog is whimpering and ridged with fear; she seems to sense that she's in danger.

   Raphael's eyes seem to soften a bit, but it may be a trick of the light.  Worried that he's still going to attack her, I start babbling on.  "She won't bother you anymore, I swear.  She just hasn't seen you in a while, so she almost forgot about you.  Please, just please, don't hurt Lilac."

   To my surprise, the hot-headed turtle complies.  He puts his sharp weapon away and backs up so Lilac can rush to my side.

   "Hmph," the turtle grunts.  "Keep her away from me, or I won't be nice enough to let her go next time."

   I nod frantically as Lilac stands in front of me, her hackles raised defensively.  She shows her teeth at the turtle, but her quivering body makes her look less threatening.  Raphael just rolls his eyes and heads back into the trees.

   From a distance, I watch as he bends down beside a small stone.  My heart aches for the body that lies beneath the surface.  I miss Charlotte so much.  She found me and took me in when I was at my worst.  I wish I could have done more to protect her from her inevitable fate.

   Still, there's no point in dwelling on the past.  What's done is done.  I choose to accept it and move on, remembering all the good memories instead of the bad.

   I am so caught up in my thoughts that I barely notice when a newcomer appears in front of me.  I stop abruptly and look up to see fair skin and deep brown eyes.  The boy is about my age, and he's dressed in dark colors.  He has a hockey stick and baseball bats in a bag on his back.  I back away as my stomach twists in discomfort.  I'm not in the mood to be hit with hockey pucks- I get enough of that at school.

   But the Casey's voice is almost kind.  "Don't mind Raphael," he says, gesturing towards the turtle over my shoulder.  "He needs to learn to get over himself."

   I blink, surprised at the lack of concern in the teenager's tone.  He is acting as if he hates Raphael.  I've heard so many stories about how close they used to be, that I can't help feeling the sting for myself.  I wish they would work this tough patch out already.

   Casey open his mouth to speak again, but I interrupt. "Why are you here?" I inquir, my voice more sweet than threatening. I hate how I make a suspicious remark sound like the most innocent question. Sometimes I want to be sharp just like everyone else, but my sympathetic nature won't allow me. I hate it.

   Casey automatically shuffles his feet and becomes a bit uncomfortable. "I was just taking a walk," he admits.  "Being all alone at my house just doesn't feel right.  Taking a stroll helps me forget about it, you know?"

   I understand why he feels like that.  Charlotte was his sister.  Without her or Raphael to spend time with, he must have a lot of time to be a loner.  And for some people, being a loner can be deadly.

   "I'm sorry," I say sincerely, biting my lip lightly.  "If I could bring her back, I would.  The team was so much better with her around."

   Casey nods, his brown eyes flickering with despair.  Then he shakes his head a little and stands up taller.  "Well, no sense in complaining about it!  Casey Jones has got some trash cans to nail.  Catch ya later, Short Stuff!" he tosses over his shoulder as he spins around and skates away.

   I shake my head slightly, a tiny smile on my lips.  His knack for nicknames has always impressed me, though I would never tell him that.  There are some folks who do not need to be complimented, otherwise their ego inflates by fifty percent.  He's one of those people.

   I risk one last glance at Raphael.  He's still hunched over the stone with his eyes closed and his head drooping.  He looks like a statue, the work of art someone would sculpt to express their grief.  Raphael is a walking symbol of depression.

   I turn away and head back to my house, my mind still whirling with sympathy.  I want to help him, but he won't let me.  He always pushes me away.  I can't remember the last time he genuinely looked into my eyes without yelling at me for something.  He has completely shut me out with his brick wall of hardships.

   I swallow the lump that is forming in my throat.  The haunting feeling that I'm not good enough for him swamps me once again, flooding my bloodstream and making me nauseous.

   I wish I could make him just as happy as Charlotte did.