Firstly, I'd like to point out that I've never read a one shot story if I'm being quite frank. I know they're pretty common, but I just hadn't seemed to come across them.

To begin, I'd like to start off with how this read made me feel. I was a bit confused at first, to say the least, but after reading it over again I eased into it. I don't know if you left the story open for interpretation from your readers, but I feel like the family never saw "paradise". I know your story is labeled fantasy, but the story, to me, seems more like a break in sanity within the mc's head during their forced shelter in the basement. The first few paragraphs fuel my theory because it's like he's trying to grasp onto what life he had beforehand, and then he comes to and recalls how they ended up in that situation to begin with. And then after the fourth paragraph, it reads to me like he starts to fantasize about his "paradise" of a life before the explosion and conjures up the world within his mind.

Going back to the first paragraph, at the end of it, "I was lost in awe when my father suddenly asked me what I want in my life. I wondered if there is anything more I want. Maybe, I wanted more from life, a lot more. I was successful convincing myself that this is not enough as I had been doing from the very beginning."

I don't know how long they had been in the basement, but through his insanity I believe he recalled this "moment" (and I put moment in quotations because the first paragraph still reads as a dream to me, as though he imagined everything plus being asked that question) and this is the reason he was able to pull himself out of his head and realize his paradise is his family alone.

So in short, I feel like everything BUT the fourth and last paragraph were nothing but his imagination. If I was way off, and the story is simply written as it is without any other form of other meaning, then that's fine. Regardless, it was still a pretty nice read and I enjoyed it.

There were a few times the sentences read a bit weird, examples would be, "We got homeless in a moment, our cattle died." Or, "I was filled with rage but hearing my father moan because of the severe wound was tearing me apart", and lastly, "I never felt as lucky as I felt at that time."

Ways I think these sentences would read better is-

"We became homeless in an instant, and our cattle died."

"I was filled with rage but hearing my father moan because of the severe wound he endured was tearing me apart."

"I had never felt as lucky as I had at that time."

Just simple word changes, or adding in extra words to better describe what's occurring will help your writing a lot in the future.

Advice wise, like I stated above, just simple word changes, or adding in extra words to better describe what's occurring will help your writing a lot in the future. Other than that, you're doing good.

Your ratings would be:

Story flow/plot: 4

Grammar: 3

Dialogue: There wasn't much dialogue, but I would have to give you a 4 as well. I give it a four only because your use of separated contraction words read a bit too "proper". I don't know how to explain it, but using words such as "isn't" and "we're" would come off a bit smoother at times and give the dialogue a more realistic feeling.

Creativity: 5

Overall rating: 16/20

Thank you for giving me the chance to review your work.

fairyzkdlin