c h a p t e r  2 2
s i l e n c e
_____☆_____

BLAZE'S POV

Solemnly, with long strides, Arthur House's maroon blazer, with St. Joseph's emblem embellished on the right chest pocket in hand, I advanced to the C wing backstage.

"I found th-"

My voice trailed off, as I caught Natasha and Parker engaged in a heated discussion of sorts. The two of them promptly quieted down and tried to school their expression as soon as they spot me approaching them.  

Unfortunately, they didn't quite succeed. Natasha had her fists balled up as, looking like she wanted to punch something. While Parker clenched his jaws, and nervously patted his stomach. Judging by their body language and the thick layer of tension in air, it seemed like the topic of their discussion was quite serious. 

Whatever it may be, I didn't want to prie into their matters and so I shrugged it off. For all I know, the two could be getting worked up over the placement of a chair.

It wasn't too hard to imagine.

Ever since the official start of Yara term, all the Badge Wearers were roaming around with their twat in a knot from all the workload they are having to handle. Just yesterday I had witnessed Keith⎯ captain of House Cesar⎯ running behind Elton⎯ his fellow teammate⎯ holding a wooden stick with every intention of beating the shit out of him for getting the steps to their dance routine right. 

As I looked at Parker and Natasha glaring at each other a quite snort escaped my lungs. Although Parker had a quite character, he was not someone you could mistake for being a pushover. And neither was Natasha. Though her loud nature made it all too obvious.

Sighing loudly, Parker cast one last anxious look at Natasha, before stalking off towards an alternate entrance door to the auditorium from backstage. I
turned towards Natasha with an arched brown but discovered she too had walked away to the otherside of the stage.

It was probably a good idea to not engage with her when she was in a bad mood. The last time I had made that mistake, it had almost cost me a fork in the eye. Casting a quick glance over my surrounding an involuntary shudder ran through my body.

This place was filled with far too scary objects than a fork.
Thanking the God for saving me from a close call, I resumed my walk.

Heading straight in the direction of the changing rooms at the far end, in the corner. Where Adam must still be waiting for my Blazer. His own being gone to laundry.

I was surprised when I found out Adam had taken part in the singing competition. We all were. I had never caught a sign of him being interested in singing let alone be good enough to take part in a competition. It was a talent he had kept hidden from us all. Even Milo, Jake and Parker didn't know about it. The only one aware about his secret talent in the whole school was Mr. Lorace. Who I later found out had been the one to persuade him into entering the competition this year.

Even after the secret came to light, Adam was adamant in not letting us hear him sing even when he practiced. Saying that we could all get our ears blessed the day of the competition.

Recalling how nervous he had been, I smirked as I entered the room.

"Finally! It's the day we get our ears blessed huh?" I teased him while throwing my blazer at his sweaty face. He look petrified today.

"I think I am going to throw up!" he said, rubbing an agitating hand over his stomach.

"Would you relax! You will do great. There is no need to throw up" Jake tried to reassure him, "here have some water."

Adam downed in one go, and handed the empty glass back to Jake for a refill. I settled myself on a discarded sofa chair in the corner of the brightly lit room while Milo smacked Jake's hands away in irritation.

"Stop giving him water Jake! What if he has an intense need to pee during his performance later.."

"If I what?" Adam looked at Milo with wide panicked eye, earning a laugh from me.

Jake reached over and smacked Milo's head, "Don't scare him like that idiot!" He than patted Adam's shoulder to calm him again, "don't worry Addy! You will do great. Trust me."

"How would you know? You didn't hear him sing yet? For all we know he might have a chipmunk voice" I quickly added getting a glare from two pairs of brown eyes.

"Not helping dude!" Milo yelled at the same time Jake said, "but chipmunks have cute voices! I mean I personally am a huge fan of Alvin" with a smile. I cracked up first, followed by Jake then Milo. Adam smiled at us but his nervousness had still not gone.

However, Jake already had a perfect remedy of distraction. He picked up a make up brush and some cream colored powder and teasingly leaned over Adam's face.

"Now let's make you look pretty! Pout" he said, making Adam jump up from his chair and hide behind Milo's laughing frame.

_______☆_______

I lingered with stone like posture on the stage behind the curtains while St. Mary girls ran past me in a frenzy, fretting over their medieval costumes. Hands fisting inside my jeans pocket and eyes breathing fire towards the thin paper like space between Adam and Natasha's bodies.

Adam stood straight with his chest out while Natasha worked to fix the broken button of my blazer with a thread and needle. Why on earth could she not fix it after getting the blazer off of Adam was beyond me. But even that was more comprehensible than trying to figure out how incompetent was my friend that he pulled of a button while putting the blazer on.

He didn't do it purposely, did he?
No!

I shook my head to get rid of the uncomfortable thought when a St. Mary girl ran past us again. But this one tripped on her dress and  collided into Adam, making him press closer to Natasha.

I instinctively turned around on my heels to avoid looking at horrid scene. Pressing a tight fist in my mouth to stop from both cussing and punching something or someone.

I looked from left to right in desperation. Surly some adult would find this scene just as revolting and inappropriate as I did. But not a single adult present backstage gave two flying fucks about the ridiculous reenactment of some corny R rated drama that runs on cable after 1 am, that the two of them were busy mimicking.

After a moment I dared to turn back around hoping it was over by now but to my utter disappointment, the sight of two smirking and flushed faces polluted my vision. I shook my head and decided to turn back around. But then I saw Natasha, shyly lowering her head towards Adam's chest.

One such banal scene that I had once seen in one of those corny shows flashed in rapid successions behind my eyelids. In which a girl seductively bite the thread to break it and then...I jolted on spot.

"NO!"

Natasha and Adam jumped back with shock, as well as many other volunteers present on the stage. The rest of the people present backstage too whirled around to look in our discretion.

I coughed and straightened my back to seem nonchalant by their and my own reaction at my sudden outburst and pushed Natasha further away from Adam.

I then looked at Adam's smirking face and my anger spiked. I grabbed the thread hanging by the button and broke it with unnecessary force. I held on to the needle a second too long, contemplating weather or not I should stab my friend's eye with it before turning around and giving it back to a confused Natasha.

"You..." I pointed an angry finger at Adam, gesturing for him to get back at his place on the other side of the stage. He did so obediently but not before flashing me another smirk.

He was definitely going to get disowned as friend soon at this rate.

Once he was out of my sight I turned my attention at Natasha Glazer. How could she openly flirt with Adam like that.

"You stop making moves on my friend! He is MINE!" I snapped at her, jabbing my index finger at my chest to emphasis my point.

"Wha...what? Make moves? You are kidding right" she crossed her arms, taking a defensive stance.

"Yeah stop flirting with him. He isn't interested in you" I spat at her in irritation.

Her jaw fell open hearing that and she threw her hands open in disbelief.

"Flirting? flirting...Oh my god this is unbelivable!..I am not flirting with him" she said rolling her eyes at me.

I snorted at that. Yeah what she has been doing was definitely not flirting.

"And even if I were why do you care?" She added with a bite in her tone making me snap my eyes back at her in astonishment.

"I care because...." I trailed off as unfamiliar words got stuck in my throat. A lot of words came into my mind to fill up the blank after because but none had the courage to push my tongue open and so with a gulp I said the next random thing that popped into my head instead, "he is my friend. And I don't want him to be anywhere near a girl like you!"

Fuck!

Her eyes turned to slits, "Girl like me?" She repeated my words in a venomous voice, as she slowly took a step towards me with murder clearly written on her face, "What do you mean by a girl like me? What kind of a girl do you think I am huh?" She asked. Her voice getting dangerously low and calm.

I started backing away, scared for my life, "I...I didn't..I didn't mean.."

I tripped on the carpet behind me knocking over a girl setting up a fake cardboard plant stand. She lost her balance because of me and ended up pushing and falling over the fake prop, which in turn fell over a nun standing near the curtain rope. In her fright she attempt at saving herself by tugging at the curtain ropes near her for support. But ended up pulling the curtains open for all of the crowd to watch us.

Another volunteer tumbled forward at the same time the curtains pulled apart when a spooked girl in medieval costume ran past her and made her drop the fake fruits in her hands. Natasha tried to back away slowly to avoid getting caught in the middle of all the stumbling but ended up stepping on a plastic apple and falling over too.

And as she did two things happen simultaneously. One, she grabbed onto the nearest thing for support— which happened to be a St. Joseph volunteer, who had been fixing up the side lights behind her— and ended up pulling down the pants. Flashing his orange boxers to everyone.

And second, the sandals she was wearing slipped out of her feet and went flying in the direction of the audience, hitting one of the judges straight in the face.

A collective 'ooohh' rolled off the crowd. Expressing both shock and laughter. Utter chaos broke after that, as random faces came forward to help those who had fallen on the stage, whereas the staff rushed over to check on the judge. Few of the teachers tried to get the crowd to quite down but whole audiorium was already shaking with laughter.

Amidst all this Natasha and I just stared at each other.

_______☆_______

I came and settled down besides Jake and Parker as we waited for the curtains to raise.

"What happened? What did Miss Famina say?" Div inquired from behind me. Drawing all the boys within hearing range's attention at me. Eagerly waiting for me to spill some beans.

"Nothing. She gave us both three hours community service tomorrow and left it at that" I answered honestly.

"Didn't N get any additional punishment from breaking the judges' noes?" Milo asked chuckling.

"That was hilarious. He is gonna look red in all of the photos now" a junior guy down two seats commented hearing our conversation.

"Miss Famina said she will look over this incident again after the term ends. For the most part we were able to convince her that it was purely accident. That we didn't do it intentionally" I said.

The boys nodded along glad for my sake.

The lights turned dim then, indicating the start of the competition. Because of our mistake the drama competition would now be performed at the end. Since they needed time to replace the prop which got broken. Hence pushing the singing competition further ahead the schedule and making Adam the first performer up.

I wouldn't lie, I was still pissed at him but I also hoped he was completely over his nervousness by now.

"It's starting! It's starting!" Milo jumped in his seat as the curtains started pulling back slowly. Revealing Adam sitting behind a classic black piano with his fingers hovering over the keys.

The crowed hollered and clapped for him. Some even whistled. I joined in too by clapping as loudly as I could and letting out a 'whoop'.
Excited girly squeals could also be heard from few st. Mary and St. Tarence girls once the curtains were fully pulled back and the lighting changed to a bold spotlight over him.

"Go Adam! Wooohooo" Jake, Div parker, and few other boys from our class called out in sync besides me.

Soon after, Adam let his fingers touch the piano keys, giving us the first note of the tune. The clapping and cheering trickled down as we all held our breaths to hear him sing.

Baby  I'm  falling

Head  over  heels

His voice was smooth, clear and melodious, making the crowd cheer for him louder than before.

Looking  for  ways

To  let  you  know

Just  how  I  feel

Just few lines in and he had already won the crowd over. To say I was impressed would be putting it mildly. He was a good singer. There is no doubt in that. Bet he was also pouring his heart out with every emotion while singing those words. Which is something only truly talented people could achieve. He created a beautiful atmosphere in the auditorium, making the crowd stand on their feet and wave their hands in the air in sync with the song. 

As the song started getting deeper, I found myself intuitively thinking and looking for someone in the crowd. Someone with dark hair and bright eyes.

You  are  the  right  time

In  the  right  moment

You're  the  sunlight

Keeps  my  heart  going

Seating three rows below me to the left, my searching eyes found her. Smiling brightly and swinging hands in the air, from side to side.

Know  when  I'm  with  you

Can't  keep  myself 

from  falling

Maybe it was the atmosphere, or the song and it's words. Or the fact that the light hitting her face after being reflected off the stage, colored her face to this lovely blue but I found myself looking at only her and nothing else.

Right  time  at  the

right  moment

It's you

She always stood out to me no matter where we were. At bright mornings, in evenings that were too dark. On days when I felt high or on days when I needed to remember to breathe. I always paused to see her.

I see you.

She must have felt the words I spoke in my head because at that exact moment she turned her head around and looked straight at me.

With over eight hundred students packed in an auditorium, why did her eyes know exactly where I was. 

_______☆_______

We stand outside a children's daycare school taking an overview of the place.

From my peripheral vision I see Natasha slowly shaking her head with wide eyes.

"Nope" she muttered, trying to make a run for it, but I anticipate her intentions. Taking a hold of the back collar of her sweater, I wordlessly dragged her behind me.

"Let go! Blaze let goooo...noooooo...please...pretty please..blaze I can't handle kids! I don't like em...LET GO!" She whined.

"Didn't you say you had a little brother" I asked her over my shoulder, putting all of my effort in pulling her with me.

"That's different stupid! Let go or i will bite you! I mean it Blaze" she threatened digging her legs in the grass.

"Go right ahead then" I countered, ignoring her complaints.

Despite her many efforts I kept hauling her after me. Letting go only after we had reached inside, when the supervisor had spotted us from the main building door.  She stopped throwing a fuss then, letting me escort her quietly. 

She lightly punched me still as soon as we came closer to where the supervisor was waiting for us.

"Good Morning children" our supervisor an old nun greeted us, before opening a register for us to sign our attendance in.

As far as punishments go, looking after small kids for three hours seemed less like one. I glanced a side eye at Natasha's pouting face and smirked. Maybe it was a form of punishment for one of us.

Our supervisor, Sister Canada gentured for us to follow her inside soon after.

"You will spend an hour in the coloring room, helping kids color" she said turning her head back a little to give us a kind smile and added, "mostly making sure no kid eats a crayon."

She first leads us to a library where in she further informs us of our task.

"I would like you to arrange the library after that. Please put back all the books in their respective places."

We both nod along in bored fashion and continue following her further inside the building.

All the walls in each room that we passed were painted in bright colors for the sake of kids, with animals or flowers painted here and there to add a theme.

"lastly, you will take the kids for a walk in the back gardens. We do that every friday here to stimulate exercising and walking habits from an early age" she said, opening the door of the coloring room. Leaving us alone to get right to work.

There were about thirty kids inside, coloring mostly outside of the lines. I walked past one kid coloring an elephant bright red and chuckled. The time might fly easily here.

_______☆_______

I watched Natasha jump again and again to put back a book in the top self, while I worked in the shelf behind her. Arranging rhyme books alphabetically.

Rolling eyes at her annoying jumps, I picked up all the books— 
that we had collected and placed on a stool in between us. Pushing it over to her. 

"Here use this" I said, adjusting the pile of books in my hands. Natasha looked down at the stool and then back up at me.

"I don't need your help!" she snapped at me, turning back around to resume her silly jumping.

Sighing I dumped the books back on the stool before replying, "and I wasn't offering you help. I only wish to finish early and get out of here as soon as possible" I threw back at her, turning my attention back at my task too.

"FINE!" she hissed, pushing the books a little to create a tiny space for her to step in. Finally placing the book in its place she angrily grabbed another from the pile.

I couldn't take it anymore, "are you still mad at me about what I said yesterday?" I sighed.

"No" she answered too soon.

Discarding the rhyme book in my hand, I grabbed her by the arm and spinned her around to face me. She still didn't look at me. Which immediately put in a sour mood.

She has a habit of looking people in the eye. Even when she lies, she does so without breaking eye contact. The fact that she refused to look at me right now told me more than words could. Had my silly meaningless words really hurt her this much? What can I do to make it up to her.

"If you are angry then just fight. Is the cold shoulder really necessary?" I asked getting too bothered by her behaviour.

She wiggled out of my hands and turned back around. I stared at the back of her head for a whole minute hoping she would say anything. Something, before giving up and turning my own back to her.

Another minute or so passed before I heard her quite whisper.

"I...am not mad at you. I can't tell you what I am mad at...but it's not you."

Ever since we got back from the competition, I couldn't shake this feeling of there being something wrong. It was in her eyes. The way she looked at me, like she had something important to say but couldn't and so she decided silence as the best solution.

Only I didn't like her silence. I didn't like the way it loomed in between us. There was a room for many things between us but not this uncomfortable silence. I wouldn't allow it.

_______☆_______

We were slowly make our way back from our walk. The kids kept running back and forth squealing hysterically. What made them this happy was beyond my understanding.

Bored from staring at the bobbing heads of the kids I turned my attention to left. Across the narrow path Natasha walked quietly, aimlessly, lost in her thoughts as she stared up at the blue sky. Her pale blue sweater covered hands slapping on her thighs as she moved forward.

What's gotten her so lost, I wonder yet again.

I go back to the time when I had seen her and Parker talking in a serious manner. I kept having a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I rethink back to that moment. I was having a hard time shaking off the idea of their conversation being unimportant or too trivial.

The more I pondered over it the more I begin drawing up invisible lines. I could be wrong but as far as I can recall, it was only after that conversation that the two of them had stared seeming off.

Parker had avoided looking me in the eye yesterday — the whole time that we were together— where as Natasha had a lost look when she did. Could that conversation be related to why she was suddenly so quiet? Or was I just grabbing at air?

"My shoes" a kid suddenly started crying, snapping both of us to our senses. Natasha ran up towards him first, so I kept my distance and stayed where I was. Instead I made the other kids huddle around me. So I could keep a better eye at them.

The kid—who's name I already forgot—pointed with a crying face  towards a small muddy puddle where his shoe got stuck in.

"Awww, it's okay..we will get you new shoes. So Don't cry. Don't cry" Natasha wiped his tears gently trying to console him but he still didn't stop crying.

"I want my shoes" he cried again, louder this time.

"Okay okay..um..do you want my shoes?" she asked the kid, momentarily stopping his cries, "Look they are just like yours, white!" she said in an excited tone to get him interested.

The kid ran a clumsy hand over his face to wipe his tears while whining, "but they are big."

"Oh no..I will do some magic on them and they will become small for you" she said.

"Really?" he asked with a hiccup just as one of the little girl hugged my leg like a koala bear.

"Yes, but you have to close your eyes okay" he nodded his head sincerely, immediately closing his eyes and placing a hand over them.

"Good boy!" she said, quickly taking off her shoes and socks.

She then balled up her socks and stuffed them inside her shoes to fill up the space.

"Okay open your eyes now..there put your feet inside.." the kid did as she instructed and then smiled brightly.

"Thank you big sis" he gave her a happy hug, making me smile at them. I urged the other kids to now start walking again. He soon joined his friends with a happy smile.

Natasha was smiling too.

I then glanced down at her feet and frowned. She tried being careful while placing her feet but the narrow trail was too rough, covered with tiny biting stones. It's going to scrap her feet raw by the time we make it back to the daycare.

She looked over at me suddenly, as if she did so absentmindedly and then recalled something and turned her gaze away just as swiftly. Somehow that simple action pricked me in my heart.

"When will you stop pretending that you don't like her blaze? When will you stop pretending that you weren't attracted to her since the first day?"

Adam's voice ringed in my head, as I recalled the words we had exchanged the day after the basketball game, when Natasha had unexpectedly shown up.

I ran his words in my head again and again and again before reaching a decision.

Today. I will stop pretending from today.

I turned the direction of my feet, to head towards her. She was once again busy staring up at the sky, thinking about something, trying to walk fast to avoid scraping her feet. I walked ahead of her and suddenly crouched down low before her.

As I had expected, she stumbled over me and fell on my back. Without wasting another second I quickly wrapped my hands around her legs and stood up, giving her no time to react.

Instinctively, she too curved her hands around my shoulder before gasping loudly as she realised what had happened.

"What are you doing?" she asked, shock evident in her breathless voice.

"You won't ask for help, and I won't admit I want to help," I said, drawing reference to all our previous dilemmas "So just this once, let's imagine that we did."

Letting my words hang around us, I began walking forward. And just like that, everything changed. The cold air, started feeling cool, the squeals of all the kids became one melodious background tune and the silence, finally, turned comforting.

A long tense moment passed, waiting for her reaction.
At last, Natasha's warm breath hit my neck, the weight on my back shifted a little, as her tensed hands around my shoulders relaxed. And I felt the smile that came to her face.  

_______☆_______
Piggy rides are a blessing!
agree or disagree?

NOTE:  the  full  song  A d a m  sings  is  uploaded  above