Dedicated to M-Dola

Zarinna fiddled with the ballpen she held as she stared afar, her focus now drawn to the window of her room instead of the pile of papers she was currently grading. She couldn't resist the apprehension bubble up from her core as she heard Gina's invitation ring in her head over and over again.

Would you like to visit our church?

She drew in a sharp breath, returning her gaze towards the papers before her, trying her best to summon the necessary concentration to finish her task. Her gaze trailed through the writings in the paper, her brow creasing as she tried to read the almost indecipherable penmanship, yet she found her efforts unfruitful. Zarinna let go of the pen in frustration, breaking the silence that filled the room as it fell to the wooden floor.

Groaning, Zarinna abrasively let go of the papers, leaning her back against the chair as she released a tired sigh. Gina's invitation just wouldn't leave her mind, and Zarinna couldn't help but remain still as she pondered on the idea. Am I ready to go to church again? She questioned in silence, Would God even accept me?

Zarinna bit her lip as she thought of the heart-wrenching idea. What would I do with my life without God? She sucked in a breath, resisting the tears that slowly welled upon her eyes.

The pain she felt only seemed to multiply as memories of Nathan invaded her thoughts. Her palms clenched into fists, the struggle in her heart manifesting in the physical realm. Zarinna suddenly felt the urge to scream, to somehow do something to remove everything that she feels for Nathan.

Why!? Her mind screamed, Why me?

She hated the fact that she had fallen in love with a man she could never have, she hated the fact that every single part of her desired him, and she hated herself for not having the ability to do something about it. Zarinna longed for God, her being comes alive at the very mention of His Name, but her heart was torn, strung to someone in a sinful way.

"Oh, God..." She began to sob, the emptiness in her heart again taking dominance over her being. "Please... " Whimpers of despair preceded her words, Zarinna didn't know what to ask for, she didn't know whether God would hear from such an adulterer as her.

The story she read in the Bible of the woman who was caught in adultery flashed in her mind. At that time, Jesus showed nothing but compassion and forgiveness, the woman was forgiven and was set free. It was an amazing story, but why was it so hard to believe it was possible in her life as well? Why does it seem as though... it was a thing impossible for her situation? Tears flowed from her eyes incessantly, the pain squeezing her heart until it seemed as though she couldn't take another breath.

"Jesus..." She breathed, "P-please make a way..."

Zarinna's lids shot open, her breathing still rugged as the familiar voice came in contact with her ear.

That voice... she hadn't heard it for a very long time, and the way her hands shuddered at the sound of it brought her to the full realization.

"L-lord?" she lifted her gaze, and then shut her eyes once more. Zarinna's whole being craved to hear His voice again, the desire in her heart writhing within her like a storm. She stayed very still for what seemed like an eternity, and once again it came, like the sound of strong waters mingling with the wind.

Zarinna's being shook.

The Words were like blades that slit her heart, and Zarinna found herself fall to her knees, forehead upon the floor. The Presence of God engulfed her like a thick blanket, and she wept like a child.

Zarinna's gaze probed the wooden building as she and Gina got off the tricycle.

"Is that it?" She asked, her gaze directed towards the wooden building before them.

"Yup, quite small but definitely normal for a church in a province."

Zarinna followed Gina as she began to walk towards the stairs, heart throbbing about what is to come. She focused her gaze upon the open door of the Church as they reached the entrance, the floors gleaming before Zarinna's eyes as they stepped in.

"Wow," Zarinna breathed, "I love the way you decorated this place, Gina!" She remarked, her gaze studying the Ethnic pieces of fabric that adorned some pieces of furniture and the interior of the church building.

"Right? It's breathtaking, isn't it? One of our pastors has a grandmother who is a really skilled weaver so she's mostly the one whom we got these from." Zarinna nodded as Gina spoke. "She'll probably arrive any minute from now. Allapo Lumnay has always been an early comer."

"Wow, I can't wait to meet her. I've always wanted to learn how to weave; do you think she'd be willing to teach?"

"Oh, really? Well, you can ask her about that later. I'll be sure to introduce her to you." A smile was molded upon Zarinna lips as she heard Gina's reply. From her youth, she has always been fascinated by how those beautiful pieces of fabric were made, the desire in her to be able to weave a Tapis of her own has never left her since.

"Thank you, Gina..."

More people began to stream inside the church, and as the clock struck Nine, the place was packed. Zarinna eyed each of the people that sat on the pews discreetly; curiosity bubbling from her heart as she guessed who among them was Allapo Lumnay.

"Good morning!" Zarinna turned her gaze in haste as she heard the greeting, her gaze instantly occupied by a man, most likely in his 40's, stretching his arm towards her.

"G-good morning..." She replied, taking the man's arm.

"Zarinna this is Pastor Nestor, the Senior Pastor of this church." Gina introduced.

"Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Pastor!"

"The pleasure's mine, I'm glad you chose to visit this church today! Gina here has informed me that you just moved here."

"Yes, Pastor. I'm here for my first teaching job."

"Wow, God bless you on that Zarinna... I do hope we'll be seeing you around here more often."Zarinna responded with a wide smile instead of speaking. She didn't know what to say exactly, uncertain if this was the church God has in mind for her stay in. Pastor Nestor continued to chat with them and soon left to prepare for the service.

Zarinna was still unsure of everything, but what was clear to her is that... she needed to step out. God's Word was very clear, hearing His voice again after a very long time satisfied the hunger within her... and it set her convictions on fire once more.

Zarinna shifted in her seat as Pastor Nestor walked to the pulpit, Bible in his hand. Silence overcame the room, and she prepared to listen to God's Word. It has been a long time since she has actually listened to a sermon, and she was more than ready, she was hungry.

"Gawis ay agew kendakayun am-in kakabsat. Nay ay maragsakanak ta wadakayu esna kasin..." Pastor Nestor greeted, saying in Applai how he was glad to see them again in the church. The congregants replied in unison, returning his greeting as soon as he spoke it.

"For a few weeks now, God has been imparting a message in my heart that has plagued my nights." He began, "It has brought me to tears each time that I think of it, the burden it caused was so heavy that there came a time when I had to ask God Himself to take it away."

The room was dead quiet as he spoke, Zarinna could already feel the atmosphere change as she listened. How long has it been when she last felt like this by just listening to a message? To feel the power of God just by the mere voice of an anointed man?

Zarinna thanked God in silence, words of praise bubbling from her heart as she refocused her gaze to the pulpit.

"Brethren, I'm going to get straight to the point." Pastor Nestor declared. "Many of us in this church has come, smiles upon their faces and in their best clothes, but in reality... has many things that need to surrender to God."

Zarinna's heart jumped, instantly held captive as the conviction from Pastor Nestor's voice claimed her being.

"Who among you, Kakabsat, has tried to engage in an hour-long walk?" Almost all of the congregants raised their hands as they heard the question. "And who among you would prefer to carry a bag that weighs five kilograms on that journey?" a chuckle resounded in the room.

"I think I know the reason why," Once again, silence dominated the church building as Pastor Nestor regained his serious expression. "Aside from the muscle aches it's going to cause you, I believe that you wouldn't prefer to carry this kind of weight because it would slow you down." He scattered his gaze and eyed each one of them, "It will slow you down.

"Today... God has one message for each and every one of us, including myself." Zarinna took in a breath as The Pastor paused, gazing towards him in anticipation. "It's time to surrender.

"Everything! That slows down our walk with God, we need to surrender it. There is a reason why the road to eternal life is a narrow one, Brethren, and the reason is this; In a wide road, you can traverse it however you prefer. You can jump if you want to, you can crawl if you want to, you can do all the kinds of stunts for all that matters and still be able to reach your destination. You can carry a whole load of luggage and still be able to walk it freely." He began to illustrate.

"The narrow one, however, does not allow such privileges. You have to let go of all that you are carrying, you have to surrender it all down before you can enter. Why?

"...Cause if you don't, you'll scratch yourself against the walls, and you will bleed."

Zarinna felt her heart squeeze, briefly shutting her eyes as she allowed the words to pierce in.

"In the wide road Brethren you can carry your sin, you can carry your hatred, you can carry your unforgiveness, you can carry everything that you want! But in the narrow one, the one that leads to salvation, you can not. Whether we like it or not, brethren, it is a reality that we need to accept. You cannot say you want to follow Jesus, and take another route from the one He is taking!"

His voice resounded around the room, and so did the Presence of God. Slowly, Zarinna felt the conviction grip her tighter, and she knew it wasn't only her, for the sobs that came in contact with her ears proved the fact.

"It is time to surrender, Kakabsat. All these things that I've mentioned only chains us from the plans of God in our lives. Are you not tired of living a complacent life? Are you not tired of being neutral? God says it's either we're hot or we're cold, being lukewarm is what He hates the most."

Zarinna couldn't resist the tears anymore, for as she gazed up, she felt a pair of tears fall from her eyes.

Oh, Lord... forgive me, forgive me.

"Did you know? It is the devil's primary goal to stop us from our walk with God. But if he cannot, he will resort to his Plan B... and that is to slow us down.

"Once again Brethren, I repeat my plea... Surrender! Surrender to God all these burdens, these worries, these cares! All the things we're holding to that doesn't please Him. Our weaknesses, failures, things in our lives that we cannot change, will only make our journey harder, it will slow us down!

Zarinna could only nod in assent as she listened, savoring each word as it seemed to cut through her heart.

"God offers us ... peace, freedom, and rest. Jesus said in His Word; 'Come to Me all you who are tired and heavy laden, and I will give you rest'."

Once again, Zarinna recalled what God has said the night before, it ringed in her mind over and over again.

Do not endeavor to work out a righteousness of your own...

She shut her eyes, trying her best to calm her breathing as she felt her heart surrender to the strong conviction of the Holy Spirit. Zarinna took a moment to breathe, scattering her gaze around the church. Almost all of them were in tears.

Her being was overwhelmed with fascination. Pastor Nestor's words were simple.

She guessed most of them in that church has heard this message before somewhere else at least once, but the way it is preached now... Is much powerful.

Indeed, it really is different when the Anointing of God is present, and although it has been long since she has felt this, Zarinna was certain the Spirit of the Lord was present in the building.

The musicians went to the platform one by one, taking their instruments in hand. Pastor Nestor opened the altar, inviting each one to come forward and surrender. Zarinna wasn't surprised that almost all of the congregation stood up, and because the altar couldn't accommodate all of them, the Pastor decided he'd be the one to go around.

The place erupted with tears, not even a single one isn't crying. Zarinna felt the same, her heart writhed within her, the hunger consuming her being until she found herself upon the floor, crying out to God.

Lord, I want to be set free!

Levi scattered his gaze around the church, his heart so filled with the Presence of God. Everyone was in tears... and he wouldn't be surprised if the other neighboring buildings heard their voices. The Spirit moved powerfully, God's Glory that was in the place so evident that his body felt electrified.

Suddenly, he felt The Spirit come upon him, opening his eyes to a vision only he can see. He was brought to a room, and he saw a man and a woman. They were both in tears, the woman struggled to free herself from the man's embrace, pain gleaming in her eyes.

"She deserves to be set free..." He heard the Spirit whisper. "Rise, go and pray..."

Instantly, Levi was brought back to his senses. Panting for breath as he recovered from the experience. Once again, he scattered his gaze around the place, and the realization came like a thunderstrike. He gazed down at the woman who lay prostrate on the floor, weeping intensely before the Lord.

He took in a deep breath, rising from his knees. Once more he praised God, the gift of knowledge He has received from Him again becoming of use to the Lord he loved so dearly.

Levi knelt down before the woman, placing his hand upon her head gently. The woman lifted her head, revealing her tear-wet face.

"Stand up, Sister..." he instructed, stretching his hand towards her in support. "Tell me, what is your name?"

The woman wiped her face and began to speak, "Zarinna..."

Levi nodded, "Zarinna, the Lord has declared it in my spirit. It is time for you to be set free..." He saw her eyes glisten with tears, her lips curving to a smile as she heard his words. He felt the woman began to shiver, and she broke into tears.

"Are you ready to surrender?" She nodded, and with this, Levi placed his hand upon her head.

Levi prayed with all his heart, declaring every chain to be broken upon the woman's life, claiming the power of Jesus' blood to wash her sin. A vision flashed in his mind as he prayed, and his heart leapt in gladness upon the knowledge.

Wow, what a calling she has.

As he let out a final declaration, he felt the Holy Spirit's Presence drop upon his shoulders, making His way to his arms... and as soon as he released, Zarinna fell to the floor.

"How do you feel now, Zarinna?" Gina asked, placing her arm around Zarinna's shoulder.

"I-I'm okay now, Gina. Thank you very much. I'm sorry for the trouble."

"Oh, Zarinna don't be sorry. It isn't the first time that that has happened in here. There was even a time when one member couldn't get up for like five hours due to the Spirit's power upon him." Gina chuckled, "That happened when Pastor David was here. That man preaches like there is no tomorrow and he sure is anointed too, glory to God!"

"Who's Pastor David?" Zarinna asked, pulling her bag to her side as she began to compose herself.

"Oh, you'll soon meet him," Gina smiled, "Well, that is, if you come again?"

Zarinna felt a smile creep up her face. "Yes. Yes, I will come again."

Gina exclaimed in excitement, pulling Zarinna to a hug as she heard her reply. "Oh, I'm so glad Zarinna!"

"I am too. And hey, just call me Rinna, okay?" Zarinna replied.

"Oka-"

"Gina!"

Their gazes flew towards the door, startled of the voice from behind. It was only a few seconds when the door flew open, revealing Joshua, worry painted all over his face.

"Please, please come down to the Pastoral House."

"What's wrong, Jake?"

"I-its Pastor Levi..." Gina's eyes widened, her heart instantly gripped by sorrow as she saw a lone tear escape Jake's eye.

"Alright, class!" David began, "That ends our lecture. For your assignment I want you to answer the exercises in Chapter 3 and 4 okay?" The class responded in unison as they one by one closed their books, sighing in relief that the class is over.

David excited for the door, his textbook clasped in his hand when he felt his phone vibrate from his pocket. He slipped his phone and gazed down upon it, reading Pastor Nestor's name on the screen. Immediately, he swiped the answer button, positioning the phone to his ear.

"Pastor?"

"Hello, David?"

"Yes, Pastor, it's me. What is it?"

David heard a sigh from the other line, and with this, he began to feel worry dominate his thoughts.

"It's Pastor Levi, David." His eyes widened, "The Lord has now claimed him."

Silence reigned for a few seconds. For a moment, David could not believe the words that he has heard, his chest heaving heavily as he pondered on the thought.

"W-when?"

"Yesterday. After the service, he excused himself saying he'll be going down the Pastoral house to rest. Well, I didn't know the rest he was talking about was the eternal one."

David heaved a heavy sigh, a sorrowful burden weighing upon his heart at the news.

"I know that this is very disheartening David, and I know I'm not supposed to drop another burden upon you yet, but his death means something to you, son. I know how he has treated you as his own, and even before he got sick, he has already ordained you to replace him..."

David resisted the urge to shed a tear, taking a deep breath as he listened to Pastor Nestor.

"I-I know, Pastor... I-uh," David paused, lifting his gaze towards the heavens before he spoke. "May the Lord's will be done."

"Amen, I'm really sorry. I, too, am grieved. His absence is somewhat... frightening. But as the Lord has said, He will never leave us nor forsake us." Pastor Nestor declared, "Although hard, we must rejoice that he is with the Lord now."

"Yes, indeed, Pastor. Thank you..." David managed to reply. His hand dropped to his side, motionless as he gazed afar.

What am I to do now? He questioned, sorrow and uncertainty both moving in his heart. Once again, he lifted his gaze, his soul somewhat drained of all energy.

Oh Lord, whatever You will... may it be done.

Kakabsat- Ilocano term for Brethren.