"About to listen to some music, and realize... You left your friggin earbuds or headphones across the freakin room. The decision whether to get up or not listen to music haunts my mind.... I end up crawling across my room to get them, 'cuz I'm too lazy to stand up, but I'm perfectly fine crawling."

"Me: What if I don't want to get you a Dr. Pepper?
My friend: I'll pay you five bucks.
Me: -runs out of the room like crazy to get a Dr. Pepper-"

"Me: Hey, Jay, do you want to hear my favorite cheer?
Jay: -zoned in on phone- sure
Me: hey sexy boy I got cha wrapped around my finger, L-O-V-E, it really doesn't mean much. Your love is like a drug, but it is not enough, give me a P-A-D for the bad girls club!
Jay: -sings song in her head- it's B-A-D not P-A-D
Me: -shocked- well.... I guess when I sang it, they were all on their period."

"Sometimes, I like to bend over, and look at the world upside down, and start walking...... In my yard.
The neighbors' faces are priceless."

"Me: At church camp, a girl said who cares about boyfriends, God is my boyfriend, if you want to know.
My friend: God doesn't sit on a couch and snuggle with you while watching a scary movie, and he doesn't hold you close when you get scarred during to movie.
Me: I like scary movies
My friend: well, the guy can sometimes get scarred.
Me: And God can't touch you like a boyfriend could.
My Friend: um.... Alex, your weird.
Me: but it's truuuuuue."

"If you die, I will kill you" ~ PewDiePie

"-sings- he's got the whole world in his hands....
-thinks- everyone would be dead if the whole world was in my hands. I mean, as I'm typing, I could be killing innocent children in a orphanage. -stops typing, looks at thumbs- I'm soo sorry you poor orphans.
-starts typing again- Eh."

"That moment when I realized something weird:
I'm surprised, when I was little, I didn't get checked into a Mental Institute.
I would spend morning to nights, sitting in my room.... Pretty much talking to myself.
Dolls don't have voices, and I would make them speak. They would even speak to me, the doll-life-giver. "

Conversation w/ a doll when I was seven ( I can still remember it today):
D= Doll
M= Me
--------------------
M: Hello, Christiana.
D: ....
M: hello?
D:...
M: -picks up doll, starts shaking it like crazy- Why won't you answer me?!?!
D: -my voice really high pitched- cause I don't have to
M: -throws doll on my bed, starts slapping it- you answer me when I want you to answer me! Okay!!!?!
D: -crying noise- o-okay
M: Shut up!
D: but...
M: No buts, young lady.
D: why are you so mean?!
M: -looks at doll with a deathly mad expression- did you just yell at me?
D: -whispers- no
M: Did You Just Yell At Me?!
D: -whispers- yes
M: grrrrr -pick up doll and throws it across the room- THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO BAD GIRLS!!!!!
D: -cries- nooooo!
M: -walks over to the doll, and kicks it- stupid
D: -cries-
M: -bends down and picks up doll, and hugs it, and speaks very softly- shush, don't cry
D: -yells- Leave Me Alone!!!!!
M: -gets mad again, and throws doll- Forget You, Miss PrissyBottom!!!! -leaves room, goes to the bathroom and locks the door- starts crying- What kind of mother am I?!"

I was soo freaked out about the doll's feelings, so I put her in a box in my room, for the rest of the year.
I was the most Demonic Seven Year Old.

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