"Fuck off, bitch. It's still early for me," Yami spat. "I just woke up. And you're interrupting my hydration time."

"Hydration...?" Yugi trailed off and then looked at his boyfriend before turning back again. "Sothat's what that was."

"That's what what was?" Timaeus asked, glancing between the three of them curiously.

"On Thanksgiving, Yami drank like fifteen glasses of water for breakfast. It was the weirdest thing I had ever seen."

"Hydration is awesome," Yami snapped at him before turning back to Vivian. "All right. Stakes. Cute. What the fuck are they?"

"If I win you break up with the runt."

Yugi and Timaeus were both amazed by how far that spit-take went; Vivian screamed out loud and Yami coughed and hacked for a few seconds, doubling over and groaning, "It went down the wrong pipe! Why would you do this to me?! I just woke up!"

"You just spat on me!"

"Well...at least it's not coke," Yugi commented, frowning. "I mean, it won't stain..."

"Stay out of it!"

"My lung burns," Yami whined, making a pitiful sobbing noise. "It fucking burns. I don't like it!"

Yugi snorted a laugh and then clamped his hands over his mouth, hoping that the other teen hadn't heard only to find him glaring a second later when he straightened and tried to contain another fit of coughs. The red-eyed teen looked at his soda for a second as if it was cursed and then went back to drinking it again.

"You're okay, right?" Yugi commented, blinking and fighting back another laugh.

Yami narrowed his eyes at him. "Yes, you little laugher."

"I can't help it! It was hilarious!"

"Oh yeah, uh-huh," the other boy griped, huffing and turning to Vivian with a gesture of his cup. "Now, what the fuck did you want again?"

"If I win, you have to break up with the runt. If you win, you get to stay with him."

"Is this how you solve problems in China? You fucking fight instead of like fucking...let things go?" the red-eyed teen huffed, crossing his arms. "You couldn't just...kiss my ass and get over it?"

The brunette gawked at him as if he had lost his mind and then snarled, "Afraid of a little duel, Yami?"

"No," he mumbled, rolling his eyes and then drinking some more soda. "We'll do it when the damn tournament starts in an hour. First duel. If you're not here when it starts, I'm counting it as a forfeit."

"Good."

"Great."

"Fuck off."

"Whatever. Be prepared to lose."

Yugi swallowed so hard he was surprised that no one heard him, a little flustered when his boyfriend went back to sipping his soda and not bothering to so much as glance in his direction. For a second none of them spoke and then finally the small teen grabbed his boyfriend's free hand and led him a few feet away.

He was about to open his mouth when a voice said, "So, snookums, how do you plan to beat her?"

Yami stopped short and glanced at the blonde. "You're still here?"

"Don't pretend you didn't know I'm one of the finalists."

"Kill me." He paused and then looked at Yugi. "But first we must go fuck."

Yugi's entire face heated so quickly he was pretty sure he had just put microwaves to shame. "Yami-"

"Fine, Mai, you want to go-?"

"Yami!"

The teen threw his arms up. "Oh my gods, what?! Yugi, honestly, come on! First Vivian's shit and now Mai's? I haven't gotten any hydration and you're trying to stress me more? Fuck that! You made me apologize and everything!"

"That wasn't even an apology-"

"It was. It was so deep that you missed the concept, however."

"Yami, listen-"

"Please just fuck me."

Mai was laughing now, hand covering her mouth as Yugi gaped at the other teen who threw his hands up again.

"You know what, Yugi? Mai over here sounds like a cat, she looks like a fucking cougar-she could be a fucking cougar!" Yami snapped suddenly, huffing.

"Well, you know what, Yami? If you have fun with the cougar, you're going to need to take a fucking bath because that pussy stinks!" Yugi snarled angrily.

Yami blinked and then burst out laughing while Mai gawked and let out a snarling noise; a few feet away Timaeus was gaping and Malik and Bakura were in tears from laughing so hard.

"You're just going to let him talk about me like that?" Mai snapped indignantly.

The red-eyed teen wiped a tear from his eyes and glanced at her. "Well no shit. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because he's beneath you. He's your secretary and I'm your girlfriend and-"

"Girlfriend? Bullshit! Listen, Catwoman, get the fuck off my boyfriend or-"

"That is not Catwoman. I know Catwoman and that is not her," Malik said, shaking his head at Yugi who blinked once and then twice before tilting his head; the blond rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. "She is so not Catwoman."

"Ah, Catwoman," Bakura snickered next to him, shaking his head and smirking widely. "Damn Catwoman. Our flunked kidnapping."

"Shut up!" Malik snapped. "It wasn't even...I was drugged!"

"I don't think you know what that means anymore, Malik," the silver-haired teen stated. "I mean, I didn't see you trying to fucking kidnap someone at Thanksgiving."

"We were locked in a car trunk!"

"So? Doesn't change the fact that you didn't jump a bitch screaming 'Catwoman' like you did last time."

"I...I-shut up!"

"Mad you didn't get to go on your little heist with her?" Bakura snickered, eyes gleaming with delight when his cousin started to blush and glanced around to make sure that no one was actively listening; he spotted Yugi, blanched completely, and then clamped his hand over his cousin's mouth.

"Ix-nay on the Atwoman-cay," Malik hissed.

"Oh please, by next week he'll be family and we can tell him everything."

"Why do you all fucking hate me so much?"

"Why not?"

"He is straight!" Mai suddenly screeched, pointing at Yami who grabbed at his hair and pulled a few times; Yugi looked over his shoulder with wide eyes to find that Mana was now walking over, snickering.

"If he ever turns straight, it'll be a miracle."

"If he does, be my support system, okay?"

The blonde burst out laughing and hugged him tightly. "No worries, Yugi. Yami is head over heels for you." She paused, glancing over at the other woman and laughing, "Oh my gods."

Yugi hugged her back, peering over her shoulder as he got on his tiptoes, laughing until he was crying when he found that Yami was now banging his head into the wall with the mutterings of "Guys, guys, I like guys. I like them. They have three legs."

Yugi jumped when he heard Seto joining in the laughter, startled as he looked over and found the brunet watching the scene with the widest smirk imaginable. A few steps away from him, Bakura and Malik were on the floor, crying from laughing so hard.

"I am so sorry you are under some kind of impression that it's a joke and apparently my boyfriend is my...secretary, but honestly, I'm not-"

"Okay, look, Mai, Yami isn't going to have any time for you-any night in the foreseeable future. Okay? Why? Because he is with me!"

"And we have our cavemen back." Mana hummed thoughtfully, picturing them both with clubs and a loincloth, hitting their chests and roaring. "Fucking cavemen."

"You two!"

All of them froze and spun around, Yugi, Yami and Mana recognizing that voice and swapping looks immediately; should they make a run for it?

He pointed at Mana and Yami but had his eye on Yugi as well, saying, "You two are the ones who stole our hooker mannequin."

Seto pressed his palm into his face and sighed loudly; goddamn it.

"See? See? I fucking told you those were hooker clothes!" Yami snapped at his sister suddenly. "You said, 'No, this is a great outfit' but no, even this guy says they were fucking hooker clothes!"

"They were not hooker clothes!"

"Bullshit, even the security guard just said they were!"

Mana blushed slightly and then hissed, "Yami, shut up! You don't know fashion!"

"I know that that skirt was too high and that fucking shirt had no room for boobs in the first place!" Yami paused and then glanced at Mai. "It's something this bitch would wear."

"What the fuck did you just say?" Mai spat, eyes widening drastically.

"Back off, bitch. This is a sibling conversation and you need to get the fuck out," Mana snapped, turning back to her brother and pointing. "You would know hooker clothing, wouldn't you? I mean, with all that fucking leather in your closet and all!"

"Don't diss on the leather, bitch," he spat. "It's comfortable as fuck and it makes me look taller."

"God knows he needs help there," Seto muttered.

"Not everyone wants to be a fucking giant, okay?" Yami snarled at the brunet. "God, if you weren't so fucking tall, you'd probably be as leather-loving as I am!"

The CEO sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Goddamn it, Yami."

"Besides, it makes my ass look fabulous!"

"Why would you say that out loud?" Mana cried, groaning. "Now I have a mental image and it's not pretty."

"Then you didn't imagine it right," Yugi said before he could stop himself, blinking wide eyes when the others all looked at him.

"Fuck yes! See that? He likes the booty!"

"Oh my gods, stop!" Mana moaned.

The security guard watched them arguing, glanced at the tall platinum blonde, and mumbled something that Timaeus was well aware went along the lines of "That's the fucking mannequin personified" before he finally wandered off to leave the family squabbling.

"Enough!" Yugi snarled suddenly, cutting off the bickering between Seto, Yami and Mana who all froze and stared at him in shock. "I need to talk to my boyfriend, got it?"

"Geez, Yugi, all you had to do was ask," Mana mumbled, blinking and then leading the others away with a glance over her shoulder while Yugi immediately turned to Yami.

A little while later Yugi was watching Yami and Vivian shuffle each other's decks and hand them back before wandering off to separate ends of the "arena". Both of their projectors launched and they had drawn their first five cards when Vivian suddenly looked over towards Yugi and laughed, "You know, Yugi, your grandpa is a great duelist."

Yugi stopped short and glanced at Yami who glanced at him over his cards, eyebrow raised; the smaller boy turned back to the brunette, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that he told me exactly how to take Yami's deck down."

Yami tipped his head towards his boyfriend, snorting, "You still think that your grandpa likes me, Yugi?"

"H-how did you even...?" Yugi blinked and then blushed furiously, blurting out, "Oh my god, you showed him your boobs!"

"Goddamn it," Seto snapped from his seat as one of the referees, putting his face in his palm and shaking his head; why had he figured this was a good idea in the first place?

"You...what?" Yami muttered, blinking.

"What's the opposite of a pedophile?" Yugi suddenly cried, eyes wide.

"A law-abiding citizen?" his boyfriend mumbled, confused.

"Well, that's not what she is!" the smaller boy screeched.

Yami swallowed hard, feeling almost as if his eyes would bug out of his head if he paid too much attention to his boyfriend's frantic state, and then slowly stared at his cards in frustration; so Yugi's grandpa had teamed up with her for this?

"Oh my fucking god!" the taller teen cried, turning on Yugi. "No wonder he hates me so much! I don't have boobs!"

"He doesn't hate-"

"You expect me to believe you after this?"

Yugi opened and closed his mouth and ducked his head away, blushing furiously. "He, he...Goddamn it."

"Oh, I am so going to talk to him about this."

"We don't talk about college!"

"Oh hell yeah we do!"

Yugi covered his face with his hands and groaned, shaking his head; goddamn it.

Anyways
Vote, comment
until next quote
Fangirl out.