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Yami turned away again, wiping his hand on his pants before looking the remote over and then pulling his waistband enough to slip it in. Yugi blinked, not even fazed by the sight, and the other boy paled slightly as he took in his expression. Oh gods...

"You know...I've reached into your pants before. Mind you, it was an accident, but I can do it with a purpose now!" Yugi announced, glaring at him and making Yami's eyes flicker towards him momentarily in shock. "I know it's going to be different this time around but I will do it!"

"Mom! Yugi is threatening to jerk Yami off on the couch!" Mana screamed loudly from the kitchen. Yami glanced at her irritably and Yugi blinked before pouncing, shoving the other teen further into the armrest and slipping his hand down his pants. Yami froze, stiffening in shock, and Yugi ignored his surprise in order to grab the remote...

"Got it!"

"Uh...no, that's not-Fuck me!" Yami yowled, reaching out to push him away. "Get off of me, damn it!"

"But I-give me the remote!"

"Fine! Just get off of me!"

"Stop holding it! Just give it to me!"

"Yugi, look at where my hands are right now!"

He pulled back just enough to consider his words, glancing between his arms for a moment before realization blindsided him. He released him immediately, gawking in horror, and impulsively brought his hands to his face.

"Oh my god...did I really just witness that?" Yami heard his mother whispering in shock, making him grow pale as his head snapped around. Yugi was mumbling under his breath, hands still against his cheeks which were reddening rapidly. "...Oh my gods..."

"...Mommy, I'm going to need therapy..." Mana whispered in horror.

"Did he just...? And Yami isn't...?" Bakura muttered, glancing at Malik in shock.

"Dude...Yugi has piss hands...and he's rubbing his face with them..."

"Piss hands?" Yugi screeched, looking at his palms for a moment and then turning to Yami again. Both of them swapped looks for a split second and then the younger boy reached into his pants and pulled the remote out, placing it into one of his palms.

Neither of them spoke for a long minute, Yami pulling his hands away and putting them in his lap. He blinked stupidly several times, staring blankly at the TV, and Yugi looked at the remote for a long moment.

"Piss remote," he announced in an awed voice.

"Fuck me," Yami snapped in annoyance, blinking again and shaking his head sharply.

"I can't! Or...actually, if you're on your-"

"I will cut your throat if you keep talking!"

Yugi fell silent immediately, blinking, and then glanced over his shoulder at the others awkwardly. "I got the remote. I don't need any reinforcements anymore."

"This is..."

"We never mention this again," Yami snarled, spinning on them furiously. "No one ever brings this up! You can't even tell Dad, Mom, because if you do, I'm going to tell him about how you solicited yourself to me when you were high on your pain meds!"

"Oh my god, shut up!" his mom croaked, blushing furiously.

"Mommy!" Mana choked out, gawking.

"Incest!" Yugi contributed, blinking wide eyes and turning around before glancing between them curiously.

"I couldn't help it! I was high! Shut up." She paused and then gave Yugi an uncomfortable look. "Don't tell anyone about that. I don't...I don't go around soliciting myself to my children. It was just...I couldn't even see straight and I was super dizzy! And my son has my beauty!"

"Oh yes, he is very beautiful," Yugi stated, nodding in affirmation as he looked at the younger boy. "He's beautiful perverted jail bait. And I love him...even though he's turning into a girl."

"Dear Ra, fucking kill me."

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