So guys I know that I said I would show my emotions to my family and friends but I can't ok I'm already and emotionless drone I'm numb I don't know what to do but I think I'm happy

I mean hi I'm corrine I was a mistake and my father cheated on my mom when I was five and whenever someone's fight now I space out and block everything out my grandma was rapped before oh and I'm numb I don't really feel sadness my brain blocks that out

I think I might have to make a journal b/c I keep on making A/N

Okay um... I just searched up 'what does it mean when your numb'

It says "when people feel emotionally numb they can feel emotionally disconnected from a situation - for example , a person in a sad situation who does not feel like crying.  Emotional numbness can also cause to feel hopeless about his/her future"

I might have not been I a really bad situation but I saw my parents punch and kick each other I was six when that happened now my dads in jail and he is in there for murdering someone he was on drugs sometimes I think why me why my family

It just I'm numb now and I haven't cried since three months but I haven't cried cried maybe since I was ten that was five years ago I laugh a lot in school so no one knows nobody knows I'm just an emotionless drone when I 'cry' it's like three tears that's all

I want to actually cry I feel like that's a crazy thing to say but I do when my friend told my dad got put in jail it felt like a horrible nightmare but I didn't cry I just said ok than walked to my table and everyone in my class said they felt sorry for me man I was so pissed no one talked to me but something sad happens to me they talk to me I was thirteen two years

About nine days ago a person in my class saw me in the gym when I was walking around just being bored as usual well my friends weren't there so I was just walking around my arms out and he said I wasn't walking on a tight rope after that dad I could tell he pity me he called me 'buddy' and I hated it

I'm a wallflower he's my jerk cousin all of my cousins are jerks Tyrell Ward-Solomon, Jay-Dean Phair, Lincoln Tom, ect.

That's all I kinda have to say so shout out to michehoy she has a great book I forgot what it was called but she also has a Scomiche one shot book please check her out
I love you crazies

* blows kisses sings * goodbye