Thank you for all the excitement about this book! And remember, if it doesn't cause emotional pain, it's not angst :)))

I'm just going to get right into it... so here ya go. Its kinda long tbh but its what I wrote so idk

TW: derogatory terms, violence/domestic abuse, non-con (non-consensual acts)/rape, graphic descriptions (I put an extra marking in bold just in case), choking

Previously...

Oh, if only I could've listened to that voice in my head, the one expressing doubts, I could've avoided all this. I could be off living the same life as before I met him- as if it had never even happened.

If I could go back in time and have a do-over, I would've never accepted that coffee. I would turn down every seemingly innocent gesture Cole made.

Because it would be so much better to keep the horrors out of my life.

George's P.O.V.

Cole and I had a good thing going, for the first two months we started dating. It was entirely innocent- watching movies, cuddles, and kisses. Nothing past that, because I didn't think I was ready for that yet.

And Cole was ok with that! He wanted me to feel safe with him, and so I did. I trusted him not to hurt me.

What a mistake.

About a week after we celebrated our two month anniversary, came The Outburst. Easily one of the most terrifying moments of my life- at that point, anyway.

"Yoouu'rre ssuch a ssslut!" Cole slurred, half empty beer bottle in his hand, liquid sloshing around angrily. He raised his hand up high, like he was about to slap me across the face. "I hhhate youu! Yoouu'rre..." He swayed, falling to the couch unconscious. I breathed a shaky sigh of relief, hearing his breathing even out and the beer bottle slip from his grasp. It spilled all over the edge of the carpet, and I silently reached for it, cleaning the liquid up off the floor.

Cole didn't wake up until about noon the next day. He didn't say anything at all to me until later that night.

"Don't think I don't know," he muttered, scowling. I frowned, tilting my head.

"Know what?" I wonder. Cole turns to look at me, and all I can see is pure fury in his eyes.

"Don't act dumb. I know about your little 'friend' Dream." I tilt my head, frowning softly. Now I'm really confused.

"Yeah, Dream's been my best friend for yea-"

"I bet you'd suck him off, wouldn't you? You're such a slut for him. He wouldn't even have to ask, you'd just get right down on your knees and take him right then and there, wouldn't you?" If looks could kill, I'd be dead.

"No?" My voice is quiet and unsure. "I wouldn't do that, I'm not even ready for that kind of stu-"

~non-con/rape warning (goes until end of chapter)~

"Yes you are." Cole grabbed my shoulders, roughly shoving me down to my knees. "Why don't you do that for me? Be a little slut for me, Kitten," Cole growled, teeth bared. I shake my head quickly, eyes wide with fear. I couldn't move away, his grip on my shoulders was tight- it would probably leave a bruise. I was being held down. There's no way this could end well for me.

"Cole..." I whimper, hands trembling as I sat on my knees, hoping he wouldn't actually go to that point. I wasn't ready for that kind of stuff, and Cole knew that. He knew I wanted to wait, that I wanted to make all my firsts special and memorable.

Well, I would get one of those things. I certainly wouldn't be forgetting this anytime soon.

"Be a good kitten." His voice was gruff. Cole unzipped his pants, pulling them down enough so they could rest at his knees. He kept his grip on me tight, but at this point I was too afraid to pull away from him.

"But I don't want to-"

"I wasn't asking." He grabbed a handful of my hair, tugging at it roughly. "You're going to do this because I'm your boyfriend and you love me." I just whimpered fearfully, only a thin layer of fabric acting as a barrier between me and him. I was scared... no, terrified. Horror-stricken. Petrified.

"Please no..." The fabric was pulled down. I was close enough to be smacked lightly with Cole's dick as it was freed from its prison.

"Suck it, Kitten," he growled lowly, a tight grip on my hair. I felt my breath hitch as my lips grazed the tip, and I wrenched myself out of Cole's grasp in a panic.

"N-no, I can't, please, no-!" I yelped as his hand collided with the side of my face, the hard slap pushing me down to the floor with the sheer amount of force he used. A grubby hand grabbed my chin, jerking me back up to my knees.

"I said," Cole's voice was dripping with sickly sweet venom. "Suck it, Kitten." My cheek ached, a hot rush of blood making it red and flushed. It was hard enough to make me wonder if it would leave a bruise.

I was pulled back into position by my hair, Cole lining up with my lips. I didn't move, instead choosing to stay as defiant as possible.

"Open," he ordered sternly. I shook my head, pressing my lips into a thin line. "Kitten. Open. Now." His hand was raised like he was going to slap me again, and I cowered underneath him. "Open up." I hesitated for a moment, before opening my mouth just slightly.

"Good kitten. This will go a lot better if you're obedient, you know." I nodded, head down. "Now, I need you to suck dick like you've never sucked before for me. Be a good kitten."

I hadn't sucked dick before. Cole should know that, he should know that when I said I wasn't ready, it meant I wasn't ready. Everything about this felt wrong.

So when it first touched my lips, naturally, I pulled away. Wouldn't anyone? I didn't want this. I'm not like that, I'm not any of the things he called me.

"I'll give you one last chance. You're going to sit there and take it, and you're going to do a good job, or else I'll take this further," Cole growled, grabbing my chin roughly and forcing me to look up at him. He leaned in close, smirking. "And you don't want that, do you, Kitten?" I whimpered softly, shaking my head once he had released my chin. "Good boy. No biting."

I felt disgusting. But then again, I didn't really have much of a choice, did I? If I tried to fight back, I would only get hurt worse. It wasn't worth the chance.

So, I obeyed. I reached up with one hand, grabbing it and licking at the tip hesitantly. I shuddered a bit at the salty, sticky feel, but kept going nevertheless. I wrapped my lips around the width, taking the head in ever-so-slowly.

"Mmm... good Kitten..." Cole's hand gripped at my hair, pushing my head down further on his dick. Tears pricked at my eyes, trying to hold back a gag as his length hit the back of my throat. I couldn't do anything, I had lost any control I had over the situation at this point. Cole started thrusting, slow at first but quickly picking up the pace.

"AhhHHH~ good Kitten, so good for me~" He moaned, fucking my throat ruthlessly. Tears streamed down my face and my throat burned with the force of his thrusts. Without any warning, something hot and fluid hit the back of my throat, a loud moan escaping Cole's lips as he panted.

"Swallow it. Every last drop." I slid off his length, pretending to swallow. Once he let me go, I would lock myself in the bathroom and spit it out. I didn't want to swallow it.

"Open up." Cole tapped my cheek, and I hesitantly parted my lips, letting him inspect. He tsked, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Naughty boy." His hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing and forcing me to swallow his cum. More tears spilled from my eyes as my fingers tried to pry him off of me, to no avail.

"Cole- please-" I gasped, reaching for breath. He shook his head, a sick smile adorning his lips as he tutted softly.

"Next time, you'll listen." He leaned in closer to my ear, grinning. "Or you'll be punished." A shiver ran down my back, and my throat was released from his grasp. I coughed a few times, my own, smaller hands rubbing at the now reddish skin.

Cole had left, and I was alone... I didn't feel safe, that was for sure, but at least I could have some time alone to process this. I really needed it.

For anyone who skipped the second half of the chapter: Cole forced George to give him head, George was obviously like "no" so Cole slapped him and threatened him until he did it. George is kinda like "what just happened..." now :/

Ik I'm a sick bastard but you probably are too so shhh

But anyway its like 2 am and I have my AP Psych test tomorrow... hoping I can get at least a 3 (its graded from 1-5, 3 or higher you can get college credit)