I reach out to grab you
But my hands grasp air
How can you say you're omnipresent
When I never feel like you're here.

This feeling in my heart it's heavy,
It's a need.
I need your presence to surround me
I get on my knees, praying for hours on end.
But when I'm finished I don't feel better, I don't feel...zen.

What is this love I hear others speak ok?
There's no blanket that covers me after a bad dream.
No hands to wipe my tears when I cry.

Where is the love that makes me feel light as air
And prepared to take on all my fears

The times I felt like the world was against me
Where was your love then?
Where was it when there was a physical need to hurt myself, to see me bleed?
Where was it when I was actually in need?

The feeling of drowning in my tears is one I am all too familiar with.
What is foreign, that I have yet to feel is your love acting like a shield, a blanket, a protection for me.

Your love has been described as beautiful and everlasting.
But I feel like you gave up on me
Was my faith not enough for you?
Am I truly insufficient in all that I do?

Isn't your love supposed to be unbiased and without favor.
Yet I feel as if you are everyone's father except mine.

My mistakes are mine to bare
Your love, although "vast" does not extend there.
What should I do with this love you claim to give?
Your love is much like a spouse
     Some of us crave and need
   But only a few receive that.  
   special "privilege"

I seek the love that will make me warm inside, YOUR love, GOD'S love