Username: Fayesther

Book title: Floating stars.

Genre: Fantasy

Number of chapters reviewed: 9

THE COVER: 4/5

The cover fits the theme of the book wonderfully. The title font is well chosen. The title size is clear and easy to read. It is well placed with in the book. The balance between the writing and the images is very good. The only point I'd like to make is, for a fantasy, I feel the colours could have been chosen better. The green forest in the centre clashes a bit with the black starry background.

THE BLURB: 4/5

The blurb is done well. It creates intrigue and sets up the book nicely. The rhetorical questions add mystique and works extremely well for a fantasy. The concept is beautiful but the execution could have been a little better. I say this because, the rule is, no matter what tense your story is written in, the blurb must always been in third person present tense. And you've followed that except for the last part where you say, "Many circumstances lead up to her discovering that what she has believed to be nonsense dreams for so long turn out to be the keys to the truth that has been locked away from her by mysterious forces."

The fact that this comes after the rhetorical questions makes it a bit awkward to read, and seems as if you are telling us what exactly is going to happen. There are multiple ways to fix this, but a simple one would be to place this sentence above the rhetorical questions so that the blurb ends with the questions. This might make it smoother to read.

THE PLOT: 4.5/5

I think the plot certainly steals the show. So for those plot driven readers out there, this would be a good book to check out. The writing style is strong. The shifting narrative of the past and the present weaving together cohesively is a great idea, and more importantly it has been executed well. The opening chapter is strong, especially the first paragraph. It sets the tone beautifully. Astrid's anguish at having to take up the teacher position and not being able to concentrate on her art was powerfully captured. The plot progress well with each chapter and my favourite scenes are from the past, where the relationship between Dil-Eques and Dil-Aeternia progressed smoothly. It wasn't forced and set against the backdrop of major conflict, I think it was executed really well.

My suggestion for improvement, would be to not include quite as much tell in your story and show us what's happening. This is not a problem in the flashback chapters, but in the present, there is a heavy focus on telling us what's happening.

Examples would be: How you tell us what the relationship between Astrid and James is and how they met eachother in the first chapter rather than showing us what happened. I understand their relationship is important for the plot but do we really need quite so much information in the first chapter? Can you may be sprinkle it on throughout the rest of the chapters? I think that's something to think about.

Also the pacing of Astrid gaining custody of Amber and the progress of their relationship felt a bit rushed. This is in complete contrast to how you handled Dil- Eques and Dil- Aeternia's relationship, which honestly was a delight to read.

So all in all, you have executed the past perfectly and I don't really have any criticisms, but maybe concentrate on tightening up the present to be on par with the past chapters.

High marks have been given for this section, because of the originality of the plot (I honestly haven't come across something like this before) and how well the past has been written with interweaving narratives. Honestly, the execution is top-notch.

THE GRAMMAR: 5/5

I did not spot any grammatical mistakes. One thing I noticed in particular was the dialogue punctuation, and it is proper. This is an area so many of us go wrong. Much care has been put into this so make it right. This is highly commendable. Good job!

THE CHARACTERISATIONS: 4/5

Astrid, the MC, is easy to relate to, usually. Even though her problem is fantastical, and not something we would ever experience, her reactions are so relatable. Relatable and likeable characters are extremely important for readers to continue to read the book. So in that way, good job! But I haven't seen any character flaws at all. She is damn near perfect. Where she loses her relatability is with interpersonal dynamics. She is ready to maintain a grateful relationship with James because he helped her and is very vocal and effusive about it. She is ready to adopt Amber after meeting her once and hearing her story. Granted, she's been seeing her face everyday in her dreams, there really isn't enough motivation for her to actually adopt the child, after talking to her once. And more importantly start calling herself 'mum'.

To fix this, make her reactions more flawed and relatable. Perhaps you could slow down the pacing of their progress by showing Astrid initially hesitant and annoyed by the girl stalking her, which would be a totally reasonable reaction to something like that, and maybe slowly their relationship progresses. This is just an example, you will of course, be the best judge for what works for your story.

The other characters are black and white with no real shades of grey, but really that doesn't take away any enjoyment. At least not from me. For a fantasy, they totally work. They are all memorable especially Dil- Eques who's so strong and ready to stand up for a girl who is bullied. I loved him.

OVERALL SCORE: 21.5/25

OVERALL ENJOYMENT: High

WOULD I READ AND RECOMMEND THIS? Yes.