Title: Super Average
Author: trollqueen_786
Status: Ongoing
Focus: Everything

Title and Cover (2/5)

Love the title. I like the oxymoron used someone being super average is a clever concept that makes your story unique and it also fits your story perfectly.
I am not a huge fan of the cover. The only thing I do like is the font you used for the title – it is clear and a nice choice but the other information, i.e. the author's name and the subtitle get lost in the dark background and are on the small side. I also don't see how the glasses and the sunbather illustrate your story.
I think it would be cool if you made the cover picture a page in a note book with a crudely drawn super hero logo, with your title included. (Just an idea from the top of my head feel free to ignore).
But I do think it would benefit your book if you had a more topical picture that represents your story better.

Description (5/5)

I like your description it showcases the energetic tone used throughout your story. It is not too long winded and I had a very clear idea of what I was getting into.

Grammar (1/5)

I did notice a few issues regarding grammar.
The first thing that caught my eye was wherever you decided to use a comma you would forget to add a space after it. When using any kind of sentence breaking punctuation – be it a full stop, question mark etc. at the end of a sentence or a comma in the middle of a sentence, there has to be spaces inserted to split the words. This makes it much easier for the reader to follow your writing.

I found typing errors here and there. These included – misspellings, missing words and wrong words. I tried to pin point some as I read, I hope you found this useful.
Here are a few examples also:

1. You wrote “Muching" a couple of times where you meant to write “munching”.

2. “He is heighted than I am...” - the word “taller" would work better in this sentence. Edited: “He is taller than I am...”

3. “I tear my face away from her are I hide it in my arms.” – I believe that there are words missing making the sentence unclear.

4. “...her blonde hair that are blinding...” – the word “hair" in this sentence is actually a singular noun (despite it being made up of a number of hairs). Edited: “...her blonde hair that is blinding...”
Despite the issues that I picked up on, I still managed to follow your story just fine. These are just small blunders that, when left in, can become a bit distracting to your reader.

Writing Style (5/5)

You have a fun, youthful writing style that is perfect for this type of story! Ava is a believable teen and her first person narration really showcases her great personality.

You use a good balance of humour and sarcasm within your story. This gives it a bouncy, light-hearted feel. Ava's personality is evident in how she tells her story and other characters’ personalities are really well communicated through obvious changes in tone within the dialogue. Individual movements and gestures are also included, which helped draw together a clear picture of who these people are.
Your descriptions are fantastic! Written in a very youthful way, when reading them it felt like a teenaged girl was directly speaking to me about her life at school. Focusing on the details that an individual her age would focus on.

I loved the cool moments of imagery you included, where you played around with well known phrases. For example, “...nail in our social lives" – swapping out “coffin” for “social lives” was a nice way to get across the deeper meanings you wanted to communicate. A social life so unexciting that it may as well be dead. I liked that.
I enjoyed Ava's sarcastic quips that were scattered throughout her narration. For example, when acting in drama club she mentions, in passing, that she wanted to hide in the closet and not go through with further humiliation. That was funny!

Characterisation (5/5)

You managed to capture really fun characters within these first few chapters. I was really impressed.
Ava, clearly doesn't rate herself, happily would melt into the background but part of her yearns for a happy teen movie type ending. An ordinary girl in an ordinary world. Her resentment towards the more popular, stereotypical pretty girl is really tackled well, with authentic subtlety. For example: Talking about her crush, then having little snide asides about his superficial taste in girls. Ava is an empathetic individual, who doesn't want to upset anyone, no matter who they are or how they treat her in return. She is a character who is very easy to like.

Her family set up was interesting– a popular brother with a reputation to hold up. He simply glides through his social life with ease. I love the embarrassing name issue, that was a fun little addition. He brings a good contrast to Ava's situation. He shows up how “super average" Ava feels by just being himself. His inner conflict of keeping his popularity status and being a loving big brother and a “momma's boy" was really endearing and he quickly became my favourite!

Drama enthusiast friend – Caira, is a bubbly and energetic character.  Everyone needs a Caira! Especially those who are introverts like Ava. It was nice to see Ava's appreciation to her crazy outgoing friend. She definitely is a believable drama nerd, she seems to perform everything she says. When seeing her act in drama club, it was an interesting choice to show that she actually lacks the natural talent of acting. This made her a more believable individual. Just because someone is enthusiastic doesn't mean they’re automatically good. This was a really cool detail that you added to the narrative.

I liked getting to know who Tristan was through Ava's opinions of him. His physicality was beautifully described with great detail, she builds a good holistic picture of him (be it, possibly, rose tinted). This makes the reader truly be on board with her as she explains why she is crushing on him. This was very cleverly done.
Shay seems so cool! I loved finding out more about him. He seems to be a genuinely nice guy and I really hope that Ava gives him a chance.

Plot (5/5)

This story is an authentic and very believable commentary on society's priorities. People are so easily looked over if they are not aspiring to be famous and put themselves on a pedestal or if they do not achieve perfect grades in every possible subject.
Ava is a girl who finds herself below the radar because she is how society sees as “average" and consequently unimportant.
Your story gave off Glee/ High School Musical vibes, however exploring a more realistic issue within teenagers lives. Rather than jock and nerd falls in love – one extreme connecting with the opposite extreme. You explore the point of view of an individual who fits in the invisible central line of societal hierarchy.
It was a really cool idea to also include all the stereotypical characters that we find in teen movies. This made your story relatable and brought out nostalgic feelings from me (someone who has watched many teen movies in her lifetime).
Your story includes very relatable situations that many can identify with and you explore your characters opinions and relationships in a very fun and energetic way.

Overall (23/30)

I really enjoyed what I have read here! You brought fun and relatable ideas and your characters were likeable and realistic. You have a few errors within your grammar to correct, which with a thorough read through you should be able to notice and fix with ease. Your story is beautifully paced and deserves much more attention. I can see many wattpaders getting on-board with your funny, sarcastic main character.
Thank you for asking me to review your super fun story! I hope my feedback is helpful.