Title: The Night Children
Author: Leahwhitefang
Status: Completed
Focus: Plotline, characterisation, relationships, structure (sentence length).

Disclaimer: I didn't want to keep you waiting too long for your review so I decided to write your review based on the first half of your story (I read up to Chapter 27). I hope this is okay. Don't worry though, I am going to read your story to the very end!

Description (5/5)
Your description is perfect. It is a great hook. It gives just the right amount of information to encourage potential readers to click on your story. I also really appreciate the little snippets you included that showcase your style of writing. A very professionally done blurb that I can find no fault in.

Writing Style (3/5)

You have an incredible writing style that grabbed my attention from the very start!

You set a vivid scene that I easily found myself transported to while reading. Starting off the whole thing with beautifully simple winter imagery within your prologue, which sets the tone for the book. I could not wait to dive in!

Your beautiful imagery didn't stop there! You carried it consistently throughout what I've read so far! The description of the wolf was phenomenal, you didn't only focus on what it physically looked like, but how it made Renee feel looking at it as well. Gorgeous work!

At first glance I thought the prologue was on the long side. I believe it would've been enough of a good prologue without the part where Renee researches wolves and just kept it to the wintery forest description and her seeing the wolf.

The language you used throughout your story was youthful, energetic and fit your variety of characters well! Your story was easy to follow and you kept the excitement going throughout, using a good amount of high points and low points to balance everything; it is really easy for writers to make their stories on a constant high point (dramatic fights, action, lots going on) they forget to add in quieter moments to let their readers breathe. You had it all figured out perfectly, well done!

The number of times you focus on eyes is an intriguing factor of your story. It makes sense that you do considering the werewolf theme. Even though you mention eyes a lot in your story, it never felt unnecessarily repetitive or out of place, you handle it with such wonderful flare. My only concern regarding this aspect of your story is the use of the word "pupil" - you describe people's eye movements using this word and it doesn't quite work. Pupils are the little black hole in the centre of the eye. They grow bigger and smaller, reacting to changes in lighting. People do not move them consciously, so when you wrote "he narrowed his pupils" or other variations of this idea, I found myself getting distracted.

I would also like to quickly add in this section that I really liked your use of dream sequences and flashbacks within your story. They helped move the plot forward and I always knew where I was when reading.

Characterisation (and relationships) (5/5)

Well! What can be said about characterisation in this story? One word, flawless! Your characters were so impressively written! Not one was predictable or stereotypical. Each and every character explored surprised me, in an incredibly good way. Just, wow!

Renee starts off as quite sensitive, sensible and a bit motherly towards Aleena. On first glance she seems like any other young female protagonist. Boy! Was I wrong! What an exciting individual to be on a journey with!

Aleena is introduced as a wild child, party girl, but that is definitely not all she is! She too can be a mother hen at times and she has a heart of gold and has the courage of a lioness!

Aaron - I adored this dude! I really did. But I did not understand him at all. What is truly going on in that head of his? I cannot wait to find out more.

Isaac - I hated him when he was introduced (though I thought it was really interesting that his description reflected that of the wolf in the prologue, nice touch!) But again, I have to say, he's a dude that is not at all as he first seems. I cannot wait to find out more about him either.

Renee's mum… oh my goodness… she is hard to like. However, I appreciated the moments where Renee explained how loving she used to be before tragedy hit the family - this character exposition helped her jump off the page for me. People aren't all bad, it is good to remember that when writing. Black and white, exaggerated villains are difficult to relate to and you didn't go down that road with her, which was a great choice. Don't get me wrong though, I do really really dislike the woman!

Mrs Anderson made me wild! What a horrible piece of work!

I'm going to stop myself there with this part of this section, for two reasons. 1. I could go on for a long time because you have included a vast number of well fleshed out characters in your story and 2. I don't want to spoil too much for potential readers.

The relationships between your characters were authentically expressed. You included witty banter between friends and heart to hearts between possible love interests with beautifully written dialogue. You also included wonderful times of conflict through action and arguments that truly made your story exciting!

Renee's relationships between Aleena, Aaron and Isaac were all handled very differently, but you always stayed true to each of your characters. It was evident in your writing that you knew every single one of these people inside and out!

Renee and her mum's relationship was so fascinating. Full of hurt, grief and things left unsaid. Scenes between these two brought out deep emotions within me. I felt sorry for both of them at various times; more sorry for Renee as the story progressed!

Plot (5/5)

What an amazing and unique plot! You were definitely right within your disclaimer, this is not your average werewolf story!

This story is incredibly layered. It explores a number of interesting themes - Folklore (werewolves), domestic abuse, crime, corruption within authority, drugs and alcohol, I could keep on going!

Your story constantly threw me curve balls. Every time I thought I could guess what was coming next, you put a spanner (or a silver bullet *wink*) in the works that would steer me clean off the tracks! I never knew where your story was going next and this made me HAVE to keep reading!

You start off the story lulling your reader in a false sense of security - with teenaged wit, high school scenes, who-likes-who and awkward home scenes and of course a little wolf feeding. Only to completely shake reality from chapter eight onwards with violent outbursts, countless mysteries and hospital stays. Renee goes through a lot! More than I could ever handle! A journey full of intrigue, which only gets more exciting the more I read!

Overall (18/20)

Your story is just incredible! It has an amazing plot, which involves many mysteries, action scenes and you didn't forget to include wonderful moments of comic relief (I love Aleena). You are not afraid to explore incredibly touchy subjects within your writing and I find that commendable. I did find a few typing blunders here and there but that did not take away from your beautiful story telling too much. Also, you've asked me to give you feedback about the length of your sentences; I had no qualms with your sentence structure at all when reading. However, I did find your chapters to be a bit on the long side, which seemed a bit daunting at first. That being said, I have fallen in love with this book, part of me is glad that I have got so many more chapters to go! I can see that this will be a journey that I'll be sad to see the end of!
Thank you so much for asking me to review your amazingly layered story! I hope you found my feedback helpful!