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When I looked down into my arms, all I could do was think about Michael. I've put this man through so much and he's still by my side. I keep asking myself over and over again, out of all of the girls in the world, why did he choose me? Why did I cause him so much pain? Why is he still with me?

My answer: I don't know.

How can a man so sweet, kindhearted, generous, and loving be in my world of hurt? I've done nothing but cause him pain.

Yet, we made this beautiful baby girl together out of love.

I can't keep doing this to him. I can't keep hurting him. I've already killed him.

I killed him?

I pondered for about a minute, then instantly felt guilty.

I did kill him.

If I wouldn't have asked to go on a date while people were around so it could feel normal, then we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be sitting on my knees in front of Katherine while our daughter is in my arms and I'm crying.

If I would have never been thinking about myself this wouldn't have happened.

Just if.

"Can I hold her Sofia?" Janet asked as she put down Emily, taking me out of my muse. I looked at her with puffy red eyes and shook my head no.

"I-I can't. I--I--she is the only thing I have left. I don't want to loose her too. He meant everything to me, but I killed him Janet. I killed him." I cried out. Janet kneeled down beside me and rubbed my back slowly.

"Listen to me, it's not your fault. You didn't do this--"

"But it is. I shouldn't have never pushed him into going on a date with me. I shouldn't have even thought of it. I just wanted to be alone with him in public while you guys meet what we brought into this world together. From love. But I blew it. I killed him." I cried as I held Serenity closer to my heart. Katherine rubbed my back while every one else gathered around us.

"Sofia, listen to me." I nodded. She stared at me for a few minutes then asked me a question. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes" I whispered in a soft crying voice.

"Can you tell us how you and my brother met? I just want to know since I've never known before. That's not the question I want to ask you though, I'll ask after you tell the story." I looked at her and everyone else as they all either sat down on the floor beside me or pulled up a chair.

"You all want to know how Michael and I met?"

"Yes, tell them the story you told us Fee. It'll make you feel better." I froze in place and turned around slowly.

When I looked up I saw my best friends. They were all holding a car seat. They sat them down slowly by me and sat down as well.

"What?--how?"

"Janet called us. We came as fast as we could. We are so sorry about what happened Fee. Tell them the story." I nodded and looked at everyone

"It was Isabella's birthday and I had bought her this diamond crusted necklace and bracelet she had always wanted. The smile on her face lit my heart up. She kept saying that she owed me big time and she could never repay me for this. I told her she didn't have to and not to worry about it. Of course she didn't listen. But that was the day I got fired from my job. My ex boss said that I was a good hard working woman and I should find someplace better. I was upset and I told Bella what happened. She went into the bathroom on her phone and so I followed her. I asked if she was alright and she said she was. But I was eavesdropping. I knew she was the phone talking to someone but I didn't know who. She started screaming into the phone to the other person talking about go meet her now and get him out of here." I looked at Bella and she was smiling as I recalled the day I met not only Michael, but her boyfriend. I held onto her hand.

"I backed away from the door and when I turned around, I bumped into someone and I apologized repeatedly--"

"Michael?" Janet asked with a smile. I smiled back at her and shook my head no.

"Who was it then?" Janet and Latoya asked in usion.

"It was her lover, her boyfriend, LaVelle." Everyone cooed.

"Bella had finally come out of the restroom and saw us. She smiled brightly and I looked at her confused as she gave LaVelle googly eyes. He introduced himself to me as LaVelle and Bella introduced him to me as boyfriend. I was truly happy for her. We left the mall as one with a lot of shopping bags. LaVelle volunteered to help carry them into the house, but Bella told me to stay put in the limo. I was confused at first but got the hint when I saw LaVelle come out of the house with her lipstick all on his neck and smudged on her face. They were fixing their clothing as well." everyone oohed at Bella as she blushed.

"The fact that I had on short black shorts and a black and white crop top with black heels was not a good outfit to wear to an audition. Bella told me this-- wait she never told me, I found out on my own. I was waiting and waiting and they finally called my name. I went in the room and they told me to stand in the middle of the floor as they called other people in as well. Matthew was his name, he told us to dance to the music that he played. He actually showed us a choreography dance. He left the room as we practiced the dance and 25 minutes later he returned. He gave us a cue on when to start, and we started. In the corner of my eye, I could see this man staring at me. I ignored him and continued to dance. I had on heels and prayed that I didn't fall or mess up. I stopped dancing for a second to watch the guy in the corner dancing. In my mind, I said he dances just like Michael Jackson. I shook my head and continued to dance my heart out. Matthew would touch people's shoulders and telling them to leave signifying that they didn't make it. I saw the guy that dance like Michael, sit down in the corner and watch me as he caught his breath. I ignored him and continued to dance. It was me, a girl, and guy left that Matthew didn't tell to leave. He told us to stop and we did.
Breathing hard and trying to catch my breath, Matthew said that we had made it in someone's life, a very special someone and he will be meeting with you all later. I was happy, but I turned around to address the guy that dances like Michael. When I walked up to him, he quickly ran out of the room behind Matthew. I noticed that Matthew said that us three made it, but it was four of us in there, including the guy that danced like Michael. I left the room and came back to tell LaVelle and Bella that I had made it. They of course had their tongues down each other's throat."

"We did not." Bella defended.

"Oh, you guys were so tonguing each other down. It's okay. You guys were in love and still are. It happens." I smiled for the first time, not showing teeth though.

"Anyways, to make a long story short, Bella told me to get ready and she'd pick me up. I went to our apartment and put on my red tight fitting long dress with slit down the side and my sides were out. Chris Tucker knocked on my door and escorted me to the limo. Yes, I was starstruck but got over it eventually. When I got into the limo, Bella, LaVelle and some other guy was in there. I complimented them and went to speak to the man in the corner of the limo when Bella stopped me. She said let's play a game called eyes. I asked her if I looked like a three year old and she begged me to just cooperate. She told me to close my eyes for 30 minutes, I told her before the 30 minutes would be over I'd be asleep. When I woke up I was in a bed. A very comfortable bed. It was so big and soft it felt like heaven. I got out of the bed and searched for Bella and LaVelle. I heard Bella screaming for help," Bella and I both started to get teary eyed, and a few tears even dropped out of our eyes.

"I followed her voice and found her in this room....tied down--naked and my ex boyfriend was about to rape her." Everyone gasped. Tears escaped everyone's eyes. They looked at me and Bella. Bella was crying now. I hugged her and told her that it was okay and over with.

"What happened next?" Janet asked as she wipe her tears. Katherine stood still and looked behind me. She stood up quickly and so did Joseph.

"Liyah baby, are you alright?" I followed Katherine and Joseph's eyes to find my mother standing there. I stood up with Serenity in my arms.

"Momma? What are you doing here?" I heard a male voice and I closed my eyes. He can't be here. He's away on a business trip. That cannot be him. I thought to myself.

I opened my eyes to see my daddy standing next to my mother, holding her and wiping her tears.

"Daddy!!" I squeaked happily and ran towards him. I regretted it and winced in pain.

"Daddy I missed you so much. When did you get back?" I asked as I adjusted Serenity in my arms to hug my dad.

"Is this the child you didn't tell us about?" He asked seriously and my smile quickly faded. I stepped back and handed her to Janet.

"What child daddy? I didn't have a baby." I lied and everyone stared at me like I was crazy. Janet spoke.

"Sofia, why are you--"

"Shut up Janet" I said as I backed away from her and slowly walked around my parents.

"Liyah, are you lying to me?" He asked sternly and I cowered.

"No daddy, I'm not lying."

"Then who's child is that?"

"What child?" I asked again. I am boiling a pot of hot water and soon enough it's going to boil over and burn me.

"Janet, can you bring me that child you have in your arms." He asked as he turned on his heels to stare at Janet. She looked at me and I gave her a pleading look. She shot me a glare then handed the baby to my dad.

"Why does she have bruises on her thighs?" He asked as he examined her.

"I don't know. I was just holding her. She's going to get adopted." Again, everyone stared at me and scolded me.

I looked at my best friends and they shook their heads. Avery mouth 'tell him the truth now' I shook my head at her and mouthed back 'I can't.'

"Liyah, why are you here?" He asked and I immediately looked everywhere trying to come up with a quick lie.

"For--t-to get my prescription for my inhaler." I knew Janet was going to say something so I continued.

"Daddy, can I hold her now? She's very beautiful."

"That she is. You know, she looks like somebody I know."

My heart thumped loudly and I started to panic.

"W--who?" I asked. He looked into my eyes and smirked.

"She looks like," he scanned the room and his eyes landed on Katherine.
"Her" he pointed, then looked at my mother, then the baby. "She looks like you mother and nana."

"R--really?" I asked hoping and praying that she didn't open her eyes. To my luck she did. I sighed and looked at my daddy as he looked into her eyes.

"Aaliyah baby, are you dating someone?"

"No daddy" once again everyone shook their head's and just stared at me not believing the lies I'm telling.

"Why are the Jacksons here?"

"I don't know daddy, I just came to hold the baby."

"But I thought you were here to get the prescription for you asthma, the inhaler."

I babbled for a second realizing that I just got caught in my lie.

"I am. I came by to get the prescription and hold this baby. Can we just go home and--and talk, I really missed you daddy."

"This little girl that I have in my arm is not yours?"

"No. It's not. Just put the damn girl back in her car seat. I don't even know who her father or mother is. Put her down daddy. Give her to me."

"Why are your eyes turning that color."

"What color?"

"You know, I love your grandmother for her eyes because they are telling on you right now." I looked at everyone hoping they would tell me the color they changed to and everyone gasped.

"What color are they?" I asked again.

"Turquoise" I gasped and closed my eyes as I tried to calm myself. God I hate my eyes. Such snitches. Ugh!! That color means that I'm lying. Fuck!!

"Last chance Sofia Aaliyah Anderson. Who's child is that?"

"It's Michael Jackson child." He looked at me then gave Serenity back to Janet. He walked up to me and I backed up a little, creating space.

"You're the mother, aren't you?" He spoke dead serious and angry. I've never seen my father like this before, and to be honest I'm scared.

"No, I'm not the mother daddy. I--"

"Stop lying to me little girl!! You're hurting people around here with the lies you're telling. You're the mother of that child and you know you are!! You know you are. Tell the fucking truth Sofia. Tell it now Aaliyah. TELL IT!!"

I shook my head as tears streamed down my face. I quickly wiped them and stood tall.

"That's the truth. She is Michael's daughter, and that's all you need to know. That's all you need to know."

"Are you, or are you not her mother?"

"That's Michael's daughter for the love of Christ. She's not mine. I didn't have her."

"You love Michael. I know your having sex with him Aaliyah. I know you love that man and you are the mother of his child."

"No I don't!! I don't love Michael. He's nothing to me. I DON'T LOVE HIM!!"

"So you lied to me?"

I immediately stopped talking.

"After I've risked my life for you, and been there for you this is how you repay me. By lying?"

Slowly, I turned around. He was sitting in a wheelchair with a bouquet of red and white roses in his hand.

"Mich--"

"No, don't talk. Come here." I looked at his pale face. He stared into my eyes, his filling with hurt, betrayal, and anger.

I slowly walked up to him and kneeled down beside him. I looked into his eyes as he pulled a white rose from the bouquet.

He pulled a petal and let it fall to the ground beside me and said

"She loves me" he pulled another "she loves me not." I stared up at him and stood up slowly as he continued.

"She loves me" I shook my head walking backwards from him and bumped into Janet. I took Serenity from her hold as Michael was being wheeled towards me.

"She loves me not."

"Stop" I whispered, but he continued.

"She loves me"

He had one last petal left and he said "she loves me not." He dropped the stem and slowly stood up, wincing in pain.

Barefoot with the bouquet of flowers still in his hand. He dropped them and walked towards me. I backed up and bumped my legs on the chair and sat down, catching my fall.

He continued to walk up to me slowly and when he finally reached me he slowly got down on his knees.

"You love me not." He stated and I looked down from his eyes as tears continued to pour out of them.

He used his index finger and lifted me head up from my chin.

"You lied to me"

"I didn't."

"Give me Serenity." I looked at her and she opened her eyes. I stared into them and cried out. "Give me her" I looked back at him

"Michael please." I begged. He tried taking her from me but I slapped his hand away. "No!!"

He stood up and tried again, only this time I wrestled with him, then smacked him.

"You can't do this." I said as I stood up as well. I looked at my dad as he spoke.

"Aaliyah, give Michael his daughter. He has the right to hold her. She's not your child, remember?" I looked back at Michael and he frowned.

He turned to address my dad. "She told you she wasn't the mother of this child?"

My dad nodded and Michael looked back at me.

"Give me my child Sofia. I have to go home and take care of her and make sure her mother never sees her again."

"Michael, you can't do that."

"You have no say in this, you're not her mother, remember?"

"I do have a say in this."

He abruptly snatched her out of my arms and began to walk away. I stopped him and begged him to give her back.

"Michael, please give her back. Please. She's the only one I have left. Please. I love her. You can't take her away from me. Please."

"I can. She's my daughter. It was my sperm that I put inside of you when we made love. It was me all along, and you were right there. You were right there when it happened. I have been there for you so many times and you repay me by lying. I thought you loved me but you don't. I thought since I'm so madly and deeply in love with you that you'd be here for me, the way I've been there for you. I guess it's true what they say. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and I pray to god she doesn't turn out to be like you. A conniving, heartless, heart breaker that doesn't care of anyone but herself. We are over and you won't see this child ever again."

Everyone watched as he walked back slowly to the wheelchair and sat down in it. They looked at me as I had tears in my eyes and watched me closely.

I wiped my tears and looked into Michael's eyes as he was being wheeled back to his room with Serenity.

"Please" I whispered with my hand to my chest. I finally looked around the room as everyone watched that scene go down. "Bring him back to me, please" I cried, covering my mouth.

"How could you do that to him Sofia? I know something's wrong. This isn't you. Why would you tell those lies like that? Everyone here knows that Serenity is yours and Michael's child. We all know that you two love each other deeply. How could you break his heart like that?" Katherine spoke softly as she walked up to me and hugged me.

"I messed up didn't I?"

"You did. Sweetheart listen to me, the truth always set you free. Why would you lie?"

"I couldn't tell my daddy the truth. I didn't want to let him down again."

"I think we all know you let me down Aaliyah. You lied to me. I don't trust you anymore. I'm done here, I thought you were smarter then this. How could you do something so stupid? Are you that dumb that you'd risk a perfectly respectable relationship to not let me down? All I wanted to know was the truth. I wanted to know why you didn't tell us about your pregnancy."

"You were at the hospital daddy. Michael said you were."

"I wasn't even in town. I was away on a business trip out in Europe. Your mother stayed back, she didn't want to come."

"No, you were here. I--"

"I obviously wasn't if I didn't know about this damn child Sofia. Open your fucking eyes and stop telling yourself and others lies. You see what you have stirred up? You lost Michael and your only child. You're not going to see her again and you wanna know why? Huh? Because you fucking lied!! How could you do such a dumb thing? That man loves you and you couldn't muster up and tell the fucking truth? You couldn't give him the satisfaction of the doubt and tell him the truth? What the fuck is wrong with you? Who are you?"

"I'm your daughter daddy--"

"No blood of mines ever lied. You're not my daughter anymore. I wished you were more like snickers."

"I didn't ask to be born!!" I suddenly screamed making Katherine jump.

"And you sure as hell wasn't what I asked for either!!" He shouted back and I held my heart and closed my eyes. "You're a fucking disgrace to your race and family. You don't deserve to be an Anderson. You're pathetic. Get the hell out of my face before I slap you. NOW!!"

I looked at everyone and they all just stared at me. I looked at my mother and she just had tears in her eyes. I walked up to her, but my dad pulled her out of my way.

"Mommy?" She closed her eyes and shook her head. Her arms opened for me to come into them, but my daddy pushed me back as I was about to embrace in her hug.

I walked passed them in search of Michael.

"Michael!" I screamed there were so many doors, I didn't know which one to go through.

I heard crying, I heard Serenity. I followed her cry and walked up to the room. I could here Michael talking to her.

"Shh, it's okay baby girl. Daddy's here. I love you. I won't let you hurt. I want ever abandon you. Your mother is stupid, but don't worry she'll get it together, just not with me. I can't take her anymore. I'll find you a mommy, and I promise she's going to forever ole you." Serenity cried louder when he said that, and Michael continued to talk.

"I love your mommy, I really do. She lied." I opened the door and he stopped talking.

"Can I come in?" I asked softly. He just stared at me and nodded. I walked in and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry Michael. I didn't mean what I said, I was-- I don't want to loose you again. Baby, please"

"Why? Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'm telling the truth. I'm telling the truth baby."

"You lie to me once, shame on you. You lied to me twice, shame on me. You lied to me three times, I'm not shaming anyone. I don't trust you."

"I'm sorry. I truly am and I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart. I didn't want to let my daddy down again Michael. I know you might not believe me, but baby I'm telling the truth." I got up and gestured for him to scoot over and he did. I got in the bed with him and stared up into his eyes.

"Look into my eyes Michael. Feel for me baby. Look at them please I'm telling the truth. Look at me baby." He looked up from Serenity and into my eyes. He stared at them as they switched from left to right, staring back into both of his seriously.

"Trust me, please don't take her away from me. Please Michael, I don't want to live without you. Or her. Can I hold her?" He looked from my eyes at a still crying baby. He handed her to me and I looked at her.

"What's wrong mama?" She continued to cry, but she pulled at my shirt.

She was hungry.

I pulled my breast out and adjusted her so she could suck on it. All the while, Michael watched.

"Here you go mama, you're just hungry. It's okay. Mommy is right here. I promise. I'm right here." Her left hand rested in my chest as she continued to suck. She had her eyes open starring into mines.

"I want you to leave when she's done." Michael spoke and I looked up at him.

"You want me to leave?"

"Yes"

"Where am I going to go Michael?" He looked at me.

"Are you keeping her from me?"

"I am. I don't want her to pick up your lien habits. I don't want her to turn out like you. I won't be able to deal and if you're not in her life, then that won't happen."

"O--okay" I said silently as I wept. I wiped my tears and just watched as Serenity.

"You have to be good for daddy okay. Be a good girl, and be very nice to your sister Emily. Mommy is always right here for you. Just not physically. My life is terrible, you're the only good thing I received that wasn't terrible, and your daddy of course. Daddy saved us. He saved you. He saved me. He died and came back to life. He stayed strong for us. He was there.

"She let go of my breast and yawned. "You done mama?" She closed her mouth and looked at me. She smiled and I gasped looking at her beautiful dimples. "Oh my god. You have mommy's dimples. Oh my god. Your so beautiful." I kissed her on her cheek and she cooed.

"I love you." I fixed my shirt and then kissed her on her forehead.

"Mommy has to go. See you later baby girl." I got out of the bed an looked at Michael as he began to burp her. She started crying and looked at me.

"Can I hold her one last time please?" He looked at me as he rocked her. He nodded and handed her to me.

"I thought I told you to be a good girl. Mommy is still here." She stopped crying and I wiped her eyes.

"I can't do this to you baby girl. I can't hurt you or daddy anymore. You need to stop crying and be a big girl. Be a good girl for mommy and daddy. Daddy promised me that if we were to get back together this time that he would do anything to keep me from having another heart break, I screwed him over and now here we are. Mommy will be okay. I'm going to see you soon. I have to go home and rest. I love you, don't start crying when I hand you to daddy. Please."

I kissed her forehead then looked at Michael. I leaned in and grabbed his face with both of my hands and kissed his lips.

"Goodbye Michael."