It's been 2 months, and life has turn for the worst. I don't know what to do. I went from wanting an abortion, to changing my mind and keeping them, to losing them. All of them.

My heart is shattered. I quit dancing. I went back to California. So many memories were held back in Japan that I didn't even want to remember.

I lost something that I can never have again. And you know for some reason, I've lost Michael.

We've grown apart and I hate it. He never spoke to me after we found out about the miscarriages. Maybe once or twice, but that was it, and for two months straight?

I'm hurting and I need him. I can tell he's hurting too. I hear him crying every night. I don't know what to do, I don't feel like I deserve him or anything.

I just need to go. Go with the wind and let it take me. Wherever it takes me I'm fine with. I'll let it direct the way to where it'll lead me. I need to go home.

I need my parents and sister. I need their support and love. I've been depressed for way to long, and sitting and lying around will not solve any of my problems.

Which leads me to my current situations. Michael walked into the bedroom with lipstick on his cheek.

Not in the mood to argue or do anything, I walked to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed.

Michael walks in and walks past me. A wind of air hit my nostrils and I smell liquor. It's disgusting. It's also very strong. I turn around and look at him very closely.

His eyes are bloodshot red, he can barely stand on his two feet, and he's staring at me with fire in his eyes. An that's when he started yelling.

Great😒😔😣

I have a migraine, and he's not doing anything but making it worst.

"Can you stop yelling Michael? Please?"

"SHUT UP. YOU DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!"

"Excuse me?"

"YOU HEARD ME. YOU MADE ME THIS WAY SOFIA."

"How did I make you this way?....You're drunk Michael." I walked passed him trying to exit the bathroom, but he grabbed my arm. Roughly.

"Let me go Michael." I said yanking my arm from him and going into the bedroom.

He went to the door and locked it. I went to the dresser and pulled out my night clothes.

"SOFIA!!"

I ignored him and continued to look through the drawers.

"SOFIA I KNOW YOU HEAR ME. ANSWER ME GIRL."

I've had it with him and his screaming. I can't take it anymore. Feels like someone is stabbing at my skull with a sharp knife and I can't stand it.

"MICHAEL STOP FUCKING YELLING!!"

"BITCH YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP. I HATE YOU SOFIA!! YOU KILLED OUR KIDS. YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE." I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. Yup, he definitely hit a nerve.

"You don't mean that Michael. I didn't kill our kids and you know that."

"YES YOU DID."

"NO, I didn't. I had a miscarriage.... Michael this isn't fair, why are you blaming me?"

"BECAUSE ITS TRUE!! I hate you."

"Well I wish I would have kept Zack's child and killed yours, since you feel this way. I shouldn't have never had sex with you. I should've never fell in love with you, I should have never forgave you when you cheated. All this time, I'm sitting around thinking that you love me and you don't. Fuck you Michael. I wish you would go die somewhere. I hate you. I'd spit and walk all over your grave if you did die. I wouldn't care. I hate you. None of this is my fault. Your never here anymore. You don't speak to me. When we found out about the babies you didn't tell me that I would be fine, or it wasn't my fault, you didn't support me through that rough time. Instead you blamed me. You blamed me for everything. Move out of my way Michael.....MOVEEE!!!"

He sat there by the door and stared at me. Fire burned through his eyes and I knew right then and there, that I hurt him and made him mad. Quite Frankly, I don't give a damn.

"I SHOULD SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW SOFIA" I knew he wouldn't do a damn thing so I called his bluff.

"Then do it."

"SMACK" he smacked me. And I fell to the ground. Tears immediately poured down my face as soon as his hand met in contact with my cheek.

I held my cheek and looked up at him. "Michael..." I whispered. What just happened. Michael would never hit me. Not in a million years. He started screaming at me and I crawled backwards away from him. He charged at me and I tried getting up but failed.

"Let me go Michael."

"SOFIA THIS IS YOUR FAULT. YOU KILLED MY BABIES. THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS THAT EVER MATTERED TO ME."

He then punched me in my nose and blood came out. I started hitting him back but that only made him more mad.

I kicked him the balls and ran for the door. It was locked and I tried unlocking it. My shaking hands were making my nerves go bad and I couldn't unlock it.

"Michael please don't!!" I screamed as he charged at me. Finally unlocking the door I ran. I continued to run and Michael still came charging at me while holding his crotch.

I turned and looked back which was a big mistake because next thing I know, I fell down the stairs.

**
"Baby? Sofia are you okay?" When Michael spoke that's when I came back to reality.

Was I daydreaming?

What the hell was that!? If I was daydreaming, that was one hell of a daydream. I don't want that to ever happen. No, I'm not letting it. I was so scared for a second.

"Umm...Yeah, I'm fine. Anyways umm..daddy this is--"

"Michael Jackson. Yeah, I know who he is" my dad said, finishing my sentence.

"You two know each other?" I asked as my eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, his dad, Joseph Jackson is the father of my wife's, your mothers other daughter."

Say whaaaat???

"What?" I said, trying to comprehend what he just said.

"Yeah. It's true." He said while starring daggers into Michael.

Wait, so Michael's my half brother!? Oh my god. I had sex with my brother. What the fuck!!!

"Daddy, are you saying that Michael Jackson is my half brother!?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."

Oh god. It's all adding up now. From the way Joseph just stared at me when I was visiting them, to him wanting to ask me an, I'm guessing, important question. He wanted to know if I was by any chance related to Christina Loving. MY MOTHER!?"

"Michael?"

"Baby, I didn't even know that"

***

"Sofia? Sweetheart? Are you okay?? What's wrong with daddy's girl? Hmm?"

What the hell. Wasn't I just-- didn't we just-- oh my god I'm losing my mind.

"Daddy, does mommy have another daughter besides snickers and myself?" I asked first without even thinking.

"No sweetheart." He said as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Daddy, do you know Michael?"

"Yes, I do actually" he said while looking back at Michael, or was he already looking at him?

"How?" I asked. I then pinched myself to see if this is real.

Fuck that hurts. Yup. It's real. I'm not delusional.

"Are you okay baby?" Michael asked as he watched me pinch myself.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Ahem" I cleared my throat. "How do you two know each other?"

"Well, Mr. Jackson here is the person who's dad I hate."

"Why do you hate his dad, what has Joseph done to you?" I asked confused.

"He took away your mother's virginity..."

"And?" I asked still not understanding.

"Without her consent."

"What do you mean without her consent.? He raped mommy? Is that what you're saying..HE RAPED MY MOTHER?!"

"Calm down baby girl." He said while walking towards me.

"No, don't touch me. Am I being punked or something.? Because if I am this is bullshit"

"Watch your mouth." My dad and Michael both scolded me at the same time.

I walked away from both of them looking for snickers.

"Hey don't go up there and bother your sister!!" My dad yelled, of course I ignored him being the person that I am.

I went running up the stairs and barged into her room, to find her butt naked, booty all in the air with a guy,....
FUCKING DOGGY STYLE!!.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Oh my god.

My life is so fucking crazy.

I'm going fucking crazy.

I was stuck and I just stood there, not knowing what to do. Seconds later I hear Michael behind me and he gasps once he sees what I'm looking at.

"Michael, lets go home. Please?" I whispered as we slowly backed out of her room.

Jesus take the wheel...please

"Daddy, I'll see you later, I just remembered that I have to wake up early for work tomorrow."

"Really?" He asked unconvinced.

"Yes. Bella got me this job to be an assistant."

"When did you have time to talk to Bella? And when the hell did this happen?" Michael asked as I put my jacket back on an walked towards the door.

"Bye daddy."

"Okay baby girl. Be safe and I'll see you soon. Drive safe and be careful with my princess, Michael. Hopefully you won't rape her."

"Excuse me?" Michael said as he directed his stare to my father.

My dad was out of line for that. That was totally rude and unnecessary.

"Let's go Michael. Now!" I said, not wanting anything bad happening.

He looked in my eyes and nodded, giving in. We walked out the house and into the car and drove home.