After breakfast, I returned to my room. Elise was meeting up with Fulla for some one-on-one time with her sponsor and Melinda had expressed her desire to nap. After the trial yesterday, I didn't blame her for wanting a bit more sleep. I wasn't tired myself, but I would welcome the quiet and the chance to catch up on some of  Grey's Anatomy, a show that I had long considered a guilty pleasure after Yuki had introduced me to it last year via Netflix. Amanda, always handy with technology had set up accounts for everyone who'd asked for it prior to the first trial. I hadn't had much time to make use of it until now because I'd been training. I was looking forward to the opportunity.

When I turned the corner to walk back into my hallway though,  I stopped short as I caught sight of Thor and Sif waiting farther down it. They couldn't have looked more different. Thor in his fawn colored suit looked like he belonged in a finance meeting. Sif with her battered combat boots, shorts and black tank top wouldn't have looked out of place at biker bar.

"Hey," I said as I approached and they both smiled. "What's up?"

"I'm just gonna wait in your room," Sif said brightly, image shimmering as she teleported into my room. I was glad she'd at least warned me rather than waiting inside, she'd scared me with that one time and I wasn't eager to go through it again.

"Hey," Thor greeted me now, a shy smile on his face. "How are you this morning?"

"Fine," I said as I fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist. Like my Glock, I'd taken to wearing it every time I went somewhere, just in case. "Yourself?"

"Alright," Thor said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out again tonight? Our last date kind of got cut short and I wanted to make it up to you."

I smiled. "I'd like that. What did you have in mind?"

"Well I've gotten to decide what we were doing the last few times, what sounds like fun to you?"

The prospect of not walking in blind was thrilling and I tried not to look too eager at the offer as I thought about an answer. I knew for sure I wanted to get out of this manor for a bit but the memory of Thor's face as we were ambushed by paparazzi hadn't left my mind either. That made my mind up for me. "I'd like to get out of this place for a bit," I said, "somewhere were we can get some fresh air and not have to be worried about cameras flashing in our faces. Is there anywhere like that? If not we can just stay in," I added quickly, deciding that privacy was more important than getting out of the building for a few hours. I didn't want this date to end like our last one had.

To my relief, Thor smiled a little. "I think I know a place. You like swimming?"

"Love it."

"Great, pick you up at six and we'll go?"

"Sounds good."

"Awesome, I'll see you then." With no further word, Thor teleported just as Sif had, his image blurring like a mirage before he vanished entirely. Feeling a bit off-center but pleased all the same, I unlocked my door and entered my room. Sif was up on her feet and bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Does someone have a date tonight?" she asked eagerly, eyes sparkling and I nodded, blushing at her enthusiasm. "Eek! This is so exciting!"

"Lower your voice," I said dryly as I rolled my eyes. "I don't think the rest of Asgard heard you."

"Hey," Sif defended herself as she plopped down on the edge of my bed. "I am very invested in this."

"I know," I sat down next to her, several questions pouring through my mind. "Why didn't you two work out anyways? I know you said you just didn't love him like that, but why not? He's an amazing guy." I'd been satisfied with her explanation on Midgard, but now that I'd been here longer, the curiosity had been gnawing at me.

Sif's smile faded and I found myself wishing I could take back my question. "You don't have to answer that."

"No, it's okay," she said with a wave of her hand. "It's a fair question. I figured you'd want a longer explanation sooner or later. Well I suppose the first part is that Thor was like my brother growing up. Sure, I noticed that he was attractive but he was just Thor to me. I never thought of him like that."

"Are you not into guys?"

"I like men quite a bit." Sif said with a slight blush. "That wasn't the problem. But aside from that there was the whole being queen thing too. I hated it."

The vehemence in her voice caught me off guard as I gaped at her. "What? But you're a commander in the army.  You're a leader."

"It's different," Sif explained with a heavy sigh, hanging her head. "I don't make the call to go or not go when there's a rampaging Jotun. I'm sent there and my job is to lead the attack someone else planned and improvise when needed. At the end, I don't have to face the press and answer questions about what happened. I don't have to defend the choices I made to the entire world. The Valkirye's I lead are my friends, we fight, live and die together. If I want to go out drinking at the bar with my friends and get loud I can."

"You couldn't do that as the queen?"

"Nope." Sif said with a bitter grin as she tossed back her hair. "The press is a double-edged sword. They're just as likely to build you up as to tear you down and as the monarch, you don't want the latter. I had to stop doing things I loved because it might've been turned on me. Between that, the lack of romantic love in my marriage and the pressure that just came with being the one who calls the shots I hated my life. I was depressed and unhappy and Thor knew me well enough to know it. He asked me if I wanted a divorce and even though it hurt him, I told him that I did."

"Was he in love with you?" I asked, feeling a heavy knot settle in the pit of my stomach. If Thor had loved Sif, I had no idea how to compete with that.

"Oh no! Not like that!" She laughed, shaking her head. "Never like that. Thor's just...He's not someone who likes to give up. He saw our divorce as a failure on his part rather than just two people who weren't suited to be together. He's worked it out now though, moved on enough to try again with people who actually have romantic interest in him and are actually suited to be a queen."

"I'm not so sure that I am," the words tumbled out before I could stop them. Sif's faith in me was heartening but I didn't want her to be too crushed if I wound up failing. "I've never run anything more complex than a lemonade stand."

"I'm not talking about experience Suzume," Sif said gently. "I'm talking about you're personal goals. The life you want to have. You're already suited to leadership, you're life on Midgard was proof enough of that. You lead your family after your dad died, you sought a job in public service and have risked your own health and safety to protect others. I haven't forgotten how you took a blender for your partner. Or how you tried to save your cousin when we first met."

Now it was my turn to stop smiling. "I failed."

"Suzume,  it was not your fault. If anything it was mine, I should've realized what he was before anyone else came into the store and I didn't. I'm so sorry." Sif's hands clenched into fists and I grabbed her hands in mine.

"You tried to save us both," I said, firmly. "I've studied more about Jotun and taking one on by yourself is more often than not a death sentence. You knew that and you still stayed and tried to protect us. I don't blame you for what happened."

"I should have known better," Sif replied, her hazel eyes gleaming with tears. 

"You're only human," I said but realized even as I said it that it did not apply. "Well you're not human, but the saying just means that you're not infallible. Don't beat yourself up for that." I opened my nightstand and grabbed the little packet of tissues I'd stored inside. They'd been given to me by Matthew the same day he'd driven me home from the funeral and I'd found them in my pocket after arriving on Asgard. "Here," I said, holding them out to Sif who took one and wiped at her eyes.

"Thanks."

"What are friends for?"

Sif smiled. "So what's on your agenda? Beauty sleep before the date?"

"Nope," I said, grabbing my remote. "Grey's Anatomy binge, care to join me?"

"Why are you reading an old medical textbook?" Sif asked, frowning at me and I laughed as I turned on the TV and clicked through the Netflix menu.

"Sit back and relax," I advised as I flipped to season one. "I'm about to give you a crash course in guilty pleasure TV dramas."

"Okay," Sif said slowly, laying down at my side though the confused frown didn't leave her face as the credits rolled across the screen.

***************************

New chapter! Another smaller one but I love writing Sif-she's fun! So now we know a bit more about why Sif and Thor broke up and I have to say, I'm with Sif. Running a country does not sound like fun! What about you guys? What would you want to do?

Write on! :)